学生译作讲评Analysis of Students’Translation Practice
翻译评析：针对主标题“聚天时地利人和，谋和平发展合作”，要想翻译出“聚”和“谋”的深层含义，首先要考量这两个动词所连接的宾语是什么意思。“天时地利人和”在汉语文化中，意指古时作战时的自然气候条件，地理环境和人心向背。学生译文的理解是正确的。但考虑到本篇新闻谈的是中韩关系，people’s support指代不清，此外，Good Opportunity, Favorable Geographic Conditions等遣词也不够简练，对仗性不强，在此基础上，建议改为Good Timing, Geographical Convenience and Harmonious Human Relations；“聚”意指“聚集”，而不是“结合”，译为gather更加准确，“谋”应当理解为“寻求”而不是“推动”，译为seek更加准确。综上，主标题可以改译为Gathering Good Timing, Geographical Convenience and Harmonious Human Relations, Seeking Peace, Development and Cooperation。
学生译文：From July 3 to July 4，2014，President Xi Jinping paid a state visit to Republic of Korea（ROK）.Upon the conclusion of the visit, Foreign Minister Wang Yi introduced relevant information about this visit to accompanying journalists.
翻译评析：本段主要针对定冠词讨论其用法。一般情况下，定冠词用以指代上文提过的人或事物：第一次提到用a或an，以后再次提到用the，例如上文提到Xi Jinping paid a state visit，下文中“访问结束之际”，则是upon the conclusion of the visit；在国家名称、机关团体、组织等专有名词前，需要定冠词the，如中华人民共和国是the People’s Republic of China，美国是the United States，韩国则是the Republic of Korea；此外，定冠词the用以特指某（些）人或某（些）事物，如“此访有关情况”和“随行记者”都是有所特指，因此都需要加上定冠词，译为the relevant information和the accompanying journalists，包括下文中不止一次提到的“中韩关系”，都需要加上定冠词译为the China-ROK relations。
学生译文：Wang Yi said that President Xi Jinping’s present visit to South Korea is just like a call on relatives or neighbors, aiming to strengthen the friendship between the two peoples and promote China-ROK relations to a new height.
翻译评析：学生译文将“习近平主席这次访问韩国”译为President Xi Jinping’s present visit to South Korea。“这次访问”没有必要逐字直译为present visit，译为President Xi Jinping’s visit就足以表达清楚原文所指；关于国名和组织机构等表述，在全文首次出现时用全称，之后再次提到则用简称，本句中“韩国”应简称为the ROK；“走亲戚、串门式的”这一表述中包含两层含义：拜访亲戚以及做客邻居，针对“做客邻居”，英文中很少采用call on neighbors这样的搭配，译为“a call on relatives or a drop in neighbors”则更加地道。综上，这一句可以改为Wang Yi said in his introduction that President Xi Jinping’s visit to the ROK is like a call on relatives or a drop in neighbors, aiming to strengthen the friendship between the two peoples and promote the China-ROK relations to a new high once again.
学生译文：Wang Yi said that this visit also expands the scope and stage for cooperation between China and the ROK and gives a greater responsibility to the China-ROK relations.President Xi Jinping stressed that China stands for the settlement of the nuclear issue on the Korean Peninsula through dialogue；both sides should maintain patience and determination, actively hold talks and keep contact, mutually show goodwill to each other and take care of all parties concerned.
翻译评析：原文第一句，学生将“赋予中韩关系更大责任”译为gives a greater responsibility to the China-ROK relations是中式英语，give一词体现了译者非常明显的中式思维。可以改为endows the China-ROK relations with greater responsibility.
原文第二句，“保持耐心定力”学生译为maintain patience and determination，这样的搭配不够地道，结合常见短语keep patient，建议改为keep patience and determination更为地道；两国间的“对话接触”显然不可能只有一次，所以“接触”不应翻译为单数形式，建议改为keep contacts；“照顾各方关切”的意思是说能够照顾到各方所关切的事，学生译为take care of all parties concerned产生了歧义，成为“相关各方”的意思，应改为take care of the concerns from all parties。“中方主张……”和“各方应该……”这两个句子之间，不一定要用分号隔开，也可以单独成句。
学生译文：President Xi Jinping reiterated that China supports the southern and northern sides of the Korean Peninsula to improve relations so as to eventually achieve independence, peace and reunification.President Xi Jinping’s proposal tackles both the cause and effect of the issue and balances all sides, not only focusing on the current but also looking to the long term.It reflects the objective and impartial position that China always upholds.The ROK side highly appreciates China’s prompting peace talks and advocating the spirit of solidarity, and is willing to strengthen communication and coordination with China.
翻译评析：原文第一句，“最终实现自主和平统一”的意思是朝鲜半岛以自主的，和平的方式实现统一，而不是achieve independence, peace and reunification所表达出的“实现自主、和平和统一”的意思，所以建议改为achieve independent and peaceful reunification。
原文第二句，“兼顾各方”的意思是考虑到各方面因素，可以译为takes all sides into consideration；“着眼当前，放眼长远”意指不但要注重目前形势，还有看到未来发展，在中文中，“当前”和“长远”是两个时间概念，英译时应当化虚为实，可以译为not only focusing on the current but also looking to the long term。
原文第三句，“赞赏中方劝和促谈”，学生译为appreciates China’s prompting peace talks and advocating the spirit of solidarity，可以补充为“appreciates China’s efforts in prompting peace talks”使得语义更清晰完整，而“劝和促谈”本就是促进和谈之意，再补充advocating the spirit of solidarity反而画蛇添足。