第16章 "Supposing it is true!"(5)

"But how are we to judge what is best?" he replied."My belief is that God is slowly and gradually educating the world, not forcing it on unnaturally, but drawing it on step by step, making it work out its own lessons as the best teachers do with their pupils.To me the idea of a steady progression, in which man himself may be a co-worker with God, is far more beautiful than the conception of a Being who does not work by natural laws at all, but arbitrarily causes this and that to be or not to be.""But then if your God is educating the world, He is educating many of us in ignorance of Himself, in atheism.How can that be good or right? Surely you, for instance, must be rather puzzled when you come across atheists, if you believe in a perfect God, and think atheism the most fearful mistake possible?""If I could not believe that God can, and does, educate some of us through atheism, I should indeed be miserable," said Brian, with a thrill of pain in his voice which startled Erica."But I do believe that even atheism, even blank ignorance of Him, may be a stage through which alone some of us can be brought onward.The noblest man I ever knew passed through that state, and I can't think he would have been half the man he is if he had not passed through it.""I have only known two or three people who from atheists became theists, and they were horrid," said Erica, emphatically."People always are spiteful to the side they have left.""You could not say that of my friend," said Brian, musingly, "Iwish you could meet him."

They had reached the entrance to Guilford Terrace, Raeburn and Charles Osmond overtook them, and the conversation ended abruptly.

Perhaps because Erica had made no answer to the last remark, and was conscious of a touch of malice in her former speech, she put a little additional warmth into her farewell.At any rate, there was that which touched Brian's very heart in the frank innocence of her hand clasp, in the sweet yet questioning eyes that were raised to his.

He turned away, happier and yet sadder than he had ever been in his life.Not a word passed between him and his father as they crossed the square, but when they reached home they instinctively drew together over the study fire.There was a long silence even then, broken at last by Charles Osmond.

"Well, my son?" he said.

"I cannot see how I can be of the least use to her," said Brian, abruptly, as if his father had been following the whole of his train of thought, which, indeed, to a certain extent, he had.

"Was this afternoon your first meeting?"

"Our first speaking.I have seen her many times, but only today realized what she is.""Well, your little Undine is very bewitching, and much more than bewitching, true to the core and loyal and loving.If only the hardness of her life does not embitter her, I think she will make a grand woman.""Tell me what you did this afternoon," said Brian; "you must have been some time with them."Charles Osmond told him all that had passed; then continued:

"She is, as I said, a fascinating, bright little Undine, inclined to be willful, I should fancy, and with a sort of warmth and quickness about her whole character, in many ways still a child, and yet in others strangely old for her years; on the whole Ishould say as fair a specimen of the purely natural being as you would often meet with.The spiritual part of her is, I fancy, asleep.""No, I fancy tonight has made it stir for the first time," said Brian, and he told his father a little of what had passed between himself and Erica.

"And the Longfellow was, I suppose, from you," said Charles Osmond.

"I wish you could have seen her delight over it.Words absolutely failed her.I don't think any one else noticed it, but, her own vocabulary coming to an end, she turned to ours, it was "What HEAVENLY person can have sent me this?"Brian smiled, but sighed too.

"One talks of the spiritual side remaining untouched," he said, "yet how is it ever to be otherwise than chained and fettered, while such men as that Randolph are recognized as the champions of our cause, while injustice and unkindness meet her at every turn, while it is something rare and extraordinary for a Christian to speak a kind word to her.If today she has first realized that Christians need not necessarily behave as brutes, I have realized a little what life is from her point of view.""Then, realizing that perhaps you may help her, perhaps another chapter of the old legend may come true, and you may be the means of waking the spirit in your Undine.""I? Oh, no! How can you think of it! You or Donovan, perhaps, but even that idea seems to me wildly improbable."There was something in his humility and sadness which touched his father inexpressibly.

"Well, he said, after a pause, "if you are really prepared for all the suffering this love must bring you, if you mean to take it, and cherish it, and live for it, even though it brings you no gain, but apparent pain and loss, then I think it can only raise both you and your Undine."Brian knew that not one man in a thousand would have spoken in such a way; his father's unworldliness was borne in upon him as it had never been before.Greatly as he had always reverenced and loved him, tonight his love and reverence deepened unspeakably--the two were drawn nearer to each other than ever.

It was not the habit in this house to make the most sacred ties of life the butt for ill-timed and ill-judged joking.No knight of old thought or spoke more reverently or with greater reserve of his lady love than did Brian of Erica.He regarded himself now as one bound to do her service, consecrated from that day forward as her loyal knight.