4.2 翻译示例汇总
一、以句为单位
1. It happened in one of those picturesque Danish taverns that cater to tourists and where English is spoken.(R. Zacks: “The Date Father Didn’t Keep”)
【译文】故事发生在丹麦的一家雅致的小旅馆里;这种小旅馆备有酒食招待游客。而且讲英语。
【解析】这本是一个故事,作者开门见山便说“故事发生在一家小旅馆里”,然后再说明这种小旅馆的特点。译文循着原文的结构翻译,把握了作者的运笔思路,传达出原文的意思,翻译的效果更好。
2. People began drinking in their own homes because, after 1920, that was the only legal place they could drink.(T. Tuleja: “Cocktail Hour”)
【译文】人们开始在自己家里喝酒,因为1920年以后,那是可以喝酒的惟一合法场所。
【解析】原文中after 1920放在because引起的状语从句中,意思是说:美国国会于1919年批准禁酒法案,从1920年起(直至1933年),美国人就不能在公开场所饮酒了。译文较严谨。
3. ... and the respect which he felt for her high rank, and his veneration for her as his patroness, mingling with a very good opinion of himself, of his authority as a clergyman, and his rights as a rector, made him altogether a mixture of pride and obsequiousness, self-importance and humility.(J. Austen: Pride and Prejudice, Ch.15, V. Ⅰ)
【译文】……他一方面敬仰凯瑟琳夫人的崇高地位,尊崇她作为自己的女恩主,另一方面又非常看重自己,珍惜自己作教士的权威,作教区长的权利,这一切造就了他一身兼有傲慢与恭顺、自负与谦卑的双重性格。
【解析】这是一个结构比较复杂的句子,中间用六个逗号分隔成七个言语片断,我们可以大致称其为七个意群。译文遵照原文的七意群来传译,取得了跟原文一样的节奏,特别是最后的“一身兼有傲慢与恭顺、自负与谦卑的双重性格”,采取了跟原文相对应的两对反义词,突出了柯林斯媚上傲下的性格特征。
4. On the morning of a fine June day, my first bonny little nursling, and the last of the ancient Earnshaw stock, was born.(E. Bronte: Wuthering Heights, Ch. 8, V. Ⅰ)
【译文】六月份一个阳光明媚的早晨,我要抚养的第一个小宝宝,也是古老的厄恩肖家族的最后一根苗,出世了。
【解析】有的语言学家对《呼啸山庄》中的这句话做过文体分析:“这句话开头先点出事件发生的时间,然后用较长的两个名词词组说明所涉及的人物,最后两个词点出发生了什么事。这种句式易于产生悬念。”译文尊重了原文的句法结构,从而保留了原文所具有的悬念。
5. While the present century was in its teens, and on one sunshiny morning in June, there drove up to the great iron gate of Miss Pinkerton’s academy for young ladies, on Chiswick Mall, a large family coach, with two fat horses in blazing harness, driven by a fat coachman in a three-cornered hat and wig, at the rate of four miles an hour.(W. M. Thackeray: Vanity Fair, Ch.1)
【译文】当时我们这世纪刚开始了十几年。在六月里的一天早上,天气晴朗,契息克林荫道上平克顿女子学校的大铁门前面来了一辆宽敞的私人马车。拉车的两匹肥马套着雪亮的马具,肥胖的车夫戴了假头发和三角帽子,赶车的速度不过一小时四英里。
【解析】这是英国小说《名利场》第一章的第一句话,如果照原文的结构如实译来,上来先是一个“当……的时候”,接着是一个头绪繁杂的长长的主句,其结果势必别别扭扭,不堪卒读,败坏读者的阅读兴趣。译者根据汉语的习惯,将译文分成三句,条理分明,文从字顺,读来犹如行云流水。
6. ... and the rest of the morning was easily whiled away, in lounging round the kitchen garden, examining the bloom upon the walls, and listening to the gardener’s lamentations upon blights, in dawdling through the greenhouse, where the loss of her favorite plants, unwarily exposed, and nipped by the lingering frost, raised the laughter of Charlotte, and in visiting her poultry-yard, where in the disappointed hopes of her dairy-maid, by hens forsaking their nests, or being stolen by a fox, or in the rapid decease of a promising young brood, she found fresh sources of merriment.(J. Austen: Sense and Sensibility, Ch.6, V. Ⅲ)
【译文】……大家来到菜园,一面观赏墙上的花朵,一面听着园丁抱怨种种病虫害。接着走进暖房,因为霜冻结束得晚,再加上管理不慎,夏洛特最喜爱的几种花草被冻死了,逗得她哈哈大笑。最后来到家禽饲养场,只听饲养员沮丧地说起老母鸡不是弃巢而去,就是被狐狸叼走,一窝小鸡本来很有希望,不想纷纷死去,于是夏洛特又发现了新的笑料。就这样,上午余下的时间很快便消磨过去了。(P)
【解析】原文是一个错综复杂的长句,开头是主句部分,后面跟了三个由in引起的状语,其中后两个里各含有一个where从句。试设想一下,如果硬要追循原文的句法结构,把“上午余下的时间很快便消磨过去了”放在前面,几个副词短语跟在后面,那样的汉语读起来该有多么别扭啊!该文的译者没有跟着原文亦步亦趋,而是抓住了三个in状语结构的时空顺序,先讲第一个in中描述的行为,再讲后两个,并分别添加了“接着”和“最后”,而两个where则略去不译,采取“天然”连接法,最后来一个总结:“就这样,上午余下的时间很快便消磨过去了。”其结果,译文读来跟原文一样顺畅。
7. She has been doing everything in her power by thinking and talking on the subject, to give greater—what shall I call it? susceptibility to her feelings; which are naturally lively enough.(J. Austen: Pride and Prejudice, Ch.5, V. Ⅲ)
【译文】她总是想着这件事,谈论这件事,极力想使自己变得更——我该怎么说呢?更容易触动情怀,尽管她天生已经够多情的了。
【解析】在这句话中,《傲慢与偏见》的女主角在谈论她那位放浪的妹妹。句尾的which are naturally lively enough,从字面上看是个非限制性定语从句,但从逻辑意义上看,它实际上起着表示让步意义的状语作用。照此理解,就可以将其译成“尽管她天生已经够多情的了”放在句尾,虽然是欧化句法,但脉络清楚,顺理成章。
8. ... but she would not allow that any objections there had material weight with Mr. Darcy, whose pride, she was convinced, would receive a deeper wound from the want of importance of his friend’s connections, than from their want of sense ...(J. Austen: Pride and Prejudice, Ch. 10, V. Ⅱ)
【译文】……但她又认为,这方面的欠缺对达西先生不会有多大影响,因为她相信,达西先生觉得最使他有伤自尊的。是他的朋友跟门户低微的人家结亲。至于这家人有没有见识,他倒不会过于计较……(P)
【解析】在这句话中,whose pride引起一个定语从句,但从意义上看,这个定语从句是用来说明主句的原因的,所以翻译中加上“因为”二字,语义就贯通了。
9. ... and as my correct name, Spencer-Churchill, began with an “S”, I gained no more advantage from the alphabet than from the wider sphere of letters.(W. Churchill: “Harrow”)
【译文】由于我的姓实际上是斯宾塞·丘吉尔。以S打头。因而不仅在比较广泛的学业范围不占优势,就是按姓氏字母排序也占不到什么便宜
【解析】这是丘吉尔回忆他在哈罗公学读书时的一段尴尬经历。他是贵族子弟,父亲当过英国下议院议长和财政大臣,可他在学校里成绩较差,一再留级,就连按字母排序也排在很后。译文遵照汉语的行文习惯,整个逻辑关系就交代得清清楚楚,读起来文从字顺,不露生硬拗口之痕迹。
10. Mr. Bennet was among the earliest of those who waited on Mr. Bingley. He had always intended to visit him, though to the last always assuring his wife that he should not go; and till the evening after the visit was paid, she had no knowledge of it.(J. Austen: Pride and Prejudice, Ch. 2, V. Ⅰ)
【译文】贝内特先生是最先拜访宾利先生的人儿之一。本来他一直打算去拜见他,可在太太面前却始终咬定不想去;直到拜访后的当天晚上,贝内特太太才知道实情。
【解析】这是《傲慢与偏见》第二章的第一句话。在前一章,贝内特太太急火火地鼓捣丈夫去拜访宾利先生,丈夫说什么也不肯答应。这第二章一开头,作者就给读者一个“惊喜”:贝内特先生已经去拜访过宾利先生了,然后再回头述说事情的来龙去脉。译文充分尊重原文的句法结构,基本采取了“句对句”甚至“意群对意群”的译法,较好地展示了作者的思想轨迹,传达了原文的特有笔调。
11. Then what? Well, mankind is not doing a very good job of running the earth right now. Maybe, when the time comes, we ought to step gracefully aside and hand over the job to someone who can do it better.(I. Asimov: “The Difference between a Brain and a Computer”)
【译文】到那时会怎么样呢?唉,反正人类现在也没有做好管理地球的工作。也许到那时候,我们真该豁达大度地让到一边,把工作交给更为称职的去做。
【解析】译文读来通顺,很好地处理好语气问题。先说“怎么样”,在后面加个“呢”字,给译文增添了一丝感情色彩,容易牵动读者的心情。再看well一词,译成“唉”,体现出了作者对人类管理不好地球的不满情绪。
12. In consequence large numbers of visitors of both sexes used to wait on the school steps, in order to see me march by; and I frequently heard the irreverent comment, “Why, he’s last of all!”(W. Churchill: “Harrow”)
【译文】因此,常有许许多多的男男女女聚集在校园的台阶上,等着看我走过。我经常听到这句有失敬重的话:“啊,他原来是老末呀!”(P)
【解析】丘吉尔小时候在哈罗公学不仅学业成绩差,就连排队也排在最后。旁观者见此情景,不由得惊讶地说:Why, he’s last of all!译者将why译成“啊”,并在“老末”后面加了一个“呀”字,栩栩如生地再现了人们的惊讶之情。
13. I framed the words in my mind: “Pardon me, but have I done something to offend you?” But I realized I had done nothing—my color offended her.(J. H. Griffin: “Into Mississippi”)
【译文】我心里在嘀咕:“对不起,我有什么举动冒犯你了吗?”可我很清楚,我并未做出什么举动——是我的肤色触犯了她。(P)
【解析】翻译时,对于原文中使用的表示语气的标点最好不要随意改动,原文中没有的语气标点最好也不要随意增加。原文在have I done something to offend you后面用的是问号,翻译时用问号即可。
二、语篇分析
1. The human brain weighs three pounds, but in that three pounds are ten billion neurons and a hundred billion smaller cells. These many billions of cells are interconnected in a vastly complicated network that we can’t begin to unravel yet ... Computer switches and components number in the thousands rather than in the billions.(I. Asimov: “The Difference between a Brain and a Computer”)
【译文】人脑只有三磅重,但就在这三磅物质中,却包含着一百亿个神经细胞,以及一千亿个更小的细胞。这上百亿、上千亿的细胞相互联系,形成一个无比复杂的网络,人类迄今还无法解开这其中的奥秘……电脑的转换器和元件只是成千上万,而不是上百亿、上千亿。
【解析】在这段话中,billion一词重复出现了四次。第一次是ten billion neurons(一百亿个神经细胞);第二次是a hundred billion smaller cells(一千亿个更小的细胞);第三次是these many billions of cells,显然是对前两次所说的两种细胞的统称,也就是说,既包含ten billion neurons,又包含a hundred billion smaller cells,概括起来应该是“上百亿、上千亿”;第四次是in the billions,显然也是指的那两种细胞的数量,同样是“上百亿、上千亿”。译文将英语的数目概念,“改造”成汉语的数目概念,语篇之间衔接、连贯。
2. By comparison with the narrow, ironclad days of fathers, there was an expansiveness, I thought, in the days of mothers. They went to see neighbors, to shop in town, to run errands at school, at the library, at church.(S. R. Sanders: “Women and Men”)
【译文】跟做父亲的那种狭窄、紧张的生活相比,我觉得做母亲的日子过得比较宽松自在。她们上邻居家串门,去城里买东西,到学校、图书馆、教堂跑跑腿儿。
【解析】在这两句话中,expansiveness一词不是很好理解。很多人都知道expansive有“宽阔的”“阔绰的”等意思,于是有人就将此处译为“母亲的日子过得比较阔绰”。显然,这不符合上下文的语境:劳动人民家庭的妇女,日子怎么会“阔绰”呢?这个句群说得清楚,男人的日子是narrow加ironclad,女人的日子与之形成对照。因此,expansive应是narrow,ironclad的反义词。narrow的意思是不难理解的,形容男人一天到晚要上班挣钱养家,活动天地比较“狭窄”;而ironclad一词理解成“一成不变”则有些牵强附会,查一查英语词典,就会发现该词有exacting(紧张)的意思。照此分析,我们就可以推断出:expansiveness在此是“宽松自在”的意思,而且下一句接着就说,她们可以东跑西颠。
3. Mr. Collins, meanwhile, was meditating in solitude on what had passed. He thought too well of himself to comprehend on what motive his cousin could refuse him; and though his pride was hurt, he suffered in no other way. His regard for her was quite imaginary; and the possibility of her deserving her mother’s reproach prevented his feeling any regret.(J. Austen: Pride and Prejudice, Ch. 20, V. Ⅰ)
【译文】这当口,柯林斯先生把刚才的情景沉思默想了一番。他把自己看得太高了,实在弄不明白表妹为什么要拒绝他。他虽说自尊心受到了伤害,但是除此之外并不感到难过。他对伊丽莎白的爱完全是凭空想象,她可能真像她母亲说的那样又任性又傻,因此他丝毫也不感到遗憾了。
【解析】这里说的是柯林斯向伊丽莎白求婚碰了壁,便在那里沉思默想起来。the possibility of her deserving her mother’s reproach是个很微妙的地方。reproach这个名词,既有“责骂的行为”的意思,也有“责骂的话语”的意思。就在本章开头处不久,伊丽莎白的母亲曾对柯林斯说:她女儿是个“非常任性的傻姑娘”(a very headstrong foolish girl)。这样一来,语义就衔接起来了:her mother’s reproach指的就是她母亲说的那句话。柯林斯心想:伊丽莎白真可能像她母亲说的那样又任性又傻,因此,“不感到遗憾”也就顺理成章了。译文察觉了前后文的这一词汇衔接,因而作出了正确的传译。
4. You must remember, my dear mother, that I have never considered this matter as certain. I have had my doubts, I confess; but they are fainter than they were, and they may soon be entirely done away ...(J. Austen: Sense and Sensibility, Ch.15, V. Ⅰ)
【译文】你应该记住,我的好妈妈,我从来没有把事情看得一定如此。我承认我有疑虑,但是现在不像以前那么重了,也许很快就会彻底打消……
【解析】原文中三个they的指代关系是翻译的关键。第二句后半部的三个they指代的都是my doubts。
5. “It is hard to forgive, and to look at those eyes, and feel those wasted hands,” he answered, “kiss me again; and don’t let me see your eyes! I forgive what you have done to me, I love my murderer—but yours! How can I?”(E. Bronte: Wuthering Heights, Ch. 1, V. Ⅱ)
【译文】“宽恕是很难的,就是看看你那双眼睛,摸摸你那双消瘦的手,也是很难的,”希思克利夫回答道。“再亲亲我吧,别让我看见你的眼睛!我宽恕你对我的所作所为,我爱害了我的人—但是害了你的人!——我怎么能宽恕她呢?”
【解析】这是《呼啸山庄》男女主角生死别的一幕。凯瑟琳要求希思克利夫宽恕她,希思克利夫回答了上面一席话。这席话的焦点是yours一词。无疑,这是your murderer的意思。但谁是凯瑟琳的murderer呢?希思克利夫早先的几句话说得明白:“你为什么瞧不起我呢?你为什么背叛自己的情感呢,凯瑟琳?我没有一句安慰的话。这是你活该。你毁了你自己。”照此看来,希思克利夫所说的害了凯瑟琳的人,就是凯瑟琳她自己。他说他可以宽恕害了他的人,但怎么能宽恕害了她凯瑟琳的人呢?这是一句撕心裂肺的悲鸣,意思是说:凯瑟琳害了他希思克利夫不要紧,可她不该害了他希思克利夫视为一切的凯瑟琳自己呀!译文用一个女“她”,境界全出,把希思克利夫那深沉无私的痴情表现得淋漓尽致,入木三分。
6. In a riot of scuba bubbles, tourist and guide plunged 110 feet into an underwater cavern. And, true to his words, the guide darted through the gloom, chasing sleek five foot long shadows. Not to worry. In the spectacular undersea world off Palau, the sharks are as laid back as the local residents. And who wouldn’t be? Slung across the Pacific 800 miles southwest of Guam, the string of islands—eight inhabited, 200 or more still unpopulated make up one of those increasingly rare commodities, a Pacific paradise.
【译文】随着潜水呼吸器咕噜咕噜的水泡声,旅游者和导游潜入了水下110英尺的一个洞天。导游的话不假,他飞快地穿过阴暗层,去追逐那光滑的有五英尺长的影子。不用担心。在帕劳一带壮丽的海底世界里,鲨鱼也像当地居民一样悠然自得。又有谁不会这样呢?遍及关岛西南800英里海域的一系列岛屿——8个有人居住,200或更多的岛屿仍荒无人烟——构成了一个稀有的宝地,一个位于太平洋中的乐园。
【解析】在原文中,And who wouldn’t be ?是一个省略句。be后面省略的应是上一句过去分词短语laid back(意为“悠然自得”);而且从意思上看,与最后一句讲的那一带是“太平洋中的乐园”相连贯。
7. From the listless looks of some fellow trotters, I gather I am not alone in my unenthusiasm: Bill-paying, it seems, would be about as diverting. Nonetheless, we continue to jog; more, we continue to choose to jog.(C. Tucker: “Fear of Dearth”)
【译文】从跟我一起跑步的一些人的倦怠神情可以断定,不喜欢跑步的并非只有我一个人:看来,这比付账单也有趣不了多少。不过,人们还是坚持跑步;而且。还就情愿跑步。
【解析】原文中unenthusiasm指的是作者“不喜欢跑步”,点明了更好。作者明明不喜欢跑步,便拿付账来比喻,实际上应该是说跑步“没有趣”。
8. I have no pity! I have no pity! The more the worms writhe, the more I yearn to crush out their entrails! It is a moral teething, and I grind with greater energy, in proportion to the increase of pain.(E. Bronte: Wuthering Heights, Ch.14, V. Ⅰ)
【译文】我才不讲怜悯呢!我才不讲怜悯呢!虫子越扭动,我就越恨不得挤出它们的内脏!这种心理作用,就像出牙一样,越觉得痛,我就磨得越起劲。
【解析】这是《呼啸山庄》的男主角希思克利夫满怀复仇的激愤,对女管家内莉说的一段话。moral teething较难理解。其实,凡是从少年期走过来的人,只要仔细回想一下,对出牙的滋味都会记忆犹新:牙快出来时有疼痛感,越痛越想磨,催牙快出来。这与其说是“精神上的出牙”,不如说是“出牙时的心理作用”——而moral作为形容词,也确实有“心理”的意思。译者在融会贯通的基础上,能将moral teething化解,灵活地译成“这种心理作用,就像出牙一样”,恰到好处地传达了原文的精神,实现了前后语句的贯通。
9. At that ball, while I had the honor of dancing with you; I was first made acquainted, by Sir William Lucas’s accidental information, that Bingley’s attentions to your sister had given rise to a general expectation of their marriage.(J. Austen: Pride and Prejudice, Ch.2, V. Ⅱ)
【译文】在那次舞会上,我有幸跟你跳舞时,才偶然从威廉·卢卡斯爵士那里得知,宾利向令姐献殷勤已经弄得沸沸扬扬,大家都以为他们要结婚。
【解析】《傲慢与偏见》里的故事发生在英国的农村,译文中采用“沸沸扬扬”与故事的情景相符合。
10. The terrain of New York is such that a resident sometimes travels farther, in the end, than a commuter. The journey of the composer Irving Berlin from Cherry Street in the lower East Side to an apartment uptown was through an alley and was only three or four miles in length; but it was like going three times around the world.(E. B. White: “The Three New Yorks”)
【译文】纽约的地貌比较特别,有时住在城里的人最终的行程可能比上班族还要远。作曲家欧文·柏林从下东区切里街来到住宅区公寓,中间只通过一条小巷,原本只有三四英里的路程,却好像绕着地球转了三圈。
【解析】原文中作曲家柏林的例子涉及到一些背景知识。经查阅,我们发现:欧文·柏林原是俄国移民,1893年移居纽约下东区,住在穷人聚集的切里街,13岁时父亲去世,只得走上街头、酒吧,靠卖唱挣几个小钱,后来又到一家餐馆作演唱侍者。就这样,经过多年的辗转奋斗,终于功成名就,最后住进了居住区的一家公寓。显然,作者所说的柏林的journey,实际上是指他坎坷的人生道路:他奋斗了多年才从穷人居住区搬至有钱人居住区,这不等于“绕着地球走了三圈”吗?作者以诙谐的笔调,通过这个意味深长的结尾告诉读者:在纽约,上班族生活固然艰辛,住在城里的人日子过得也不轻松。原文作者使用了比喻的说法,译文表达的时候,要尽量避免使用“走”字,而选用“行程”“来到”之类的字眼,就连terrain一词也不要译成“地形”,而用“地貌”,暗示居住区有贫富之别。另外,译者还应加上适当的注释。只有这样,译文语篇才能与原文语篇具有同等的连贯性。
11. “He’s been in his room all day.” the landlady said downstairs. “I guess he don’t feel well. I said to him ‘Mr. Anderson, you ought to go out and take a walk on nice fall day like this, but he didn’t feel like it.”(E. Hemingway: “The Killers”)
【译文】“他成天呆在屋里,”房东太太在楼下说。“我估摸他不舒服。我跟他说:‘安德森先生,这么好的秋天天气,你该出去散散步。’可他就是不想出去。”
【解析】原文中的房东太太文化层次比较低,he don’t的语法错误充分显示了这一点。译文取得跟原文语境相一致的效果。