第43章
Adieu!she cries,and waved her lily hand.
The few tattered clouds of the morning enlarged and united,the sun withdrew behind them to emerge no more that day,and the evening drew to a close in drifts of rain.The water-drops beat like duck shot against the window of the railway-carriage containing Stephen and Elfride.
The journey from Plymouth to Paddington,by even the most headlong express,allows quite enough leisure for passion of any sort to cool.Elfrides excitement had passed off,and she sat in a kind of stupor during the latter half of the journey.She was aroused by the clanging of the maze of rails over which they traced their way at the entrance to the station.
Is this London?she said.
Yes,darling,said Stephen in a tone of assurance he was far from feeling.To him,no less than to her,the reality so greatly differed from the prefiguring.
She peered out as well as the window,beaded with drops,would allow her,and saw only the lamps,which had just been lit,blinking in the wet atmosphere,and rows of hideous zinc chimney-
pipes in dim relief against the sky.She writhed uneasily,as when a thought is swelling in the mind which must cause much pain at its deliverance in words.Elfride had known no more about the stings of evil report than the native wild-fowl knew of the effects of Crusoes first shot.Now she saw a little further,and a little further still.
The train stopped.Stephen relinquished the soft hand he had held all the day,and proceeded to assist her on to the platform.
This act of alighting upon strange ground seemed all that was wanted to complete a resolution within her.
She looked at her betrothed with despairing eyes.
O Stephen,she exclaimed,I am so miserable!I must go home again--I must--I must!Forgive my wretched vacillation.I dont like it here--nor myself--nor you!
Stephen looked bewildered,and did not speak.
Will you allow me to go home?she implored.I wont trouble you to go with me.I will not be any weight upon you;only say you will agree to my returning;that you will not hate me for it,Stephen!It is better that I should return again;indeed it is,Stephen.
But we cant return now,he said in a deprecatory tone.
I must!I will!
How?When do you want to go?
Now.Can we go at once?
The lad looked hopelessly along the platform.
If you must go,and think it wrong to remain,dearest,said he sadly,you shall.You shall do whatever you like,my Elfride.
But would you in reality rather go now than stay till to-morrow,and go as my wife?
Yes,yes--much--anything to go now.I must;I must!she cried.
We ought to have done one of two things,he answered gloomily.
Never to have started,or not to have returned without being married.I dont like to say it,Elfride--indeed I dont;but you must be told this,that going back unmarried may compromise your good name in the eyes of people who may hear of it.
They will not;and I must go.
O Elfride!I am to blame for bringing you away.
Not at all.I am the elder.
By a month;and whats that?But never mind that now.He looked around.Is there a train for Plymouth to-night?he inquired of a guard.The guard passed on and did not speak.
Is there a train for Plymouth to-night?said Elfride to another.
Yes,miss;the 8.10--leaves in ten minutes.You have come to the wrong platform;it is the other side.Change at Bristol into the night mail.Down that staircase,and under the line.
They ran down the staircase--Elfride first--to the booking-office,and into a carriage with an official standing beside the door.
Show your tickets,please.They are locked in--men about the platform accelerate their velocities till they fly up and down like shuttles in a loom--a whistle--the waving of a flag--a human cry--a steam groan--and away they go to Plymouth again,just catching these words as they glide off:
Those two youngsters had a near run for it,and no mistake!
Elfride found her breath.
And have you come too,Stephen?Why did you?
I shall not leave you till I see you safe at St.Launces.Do not think worse of me than I am,Elfride.
And then they rattled along through the night,back again by the way they had come.The weather cleared,and the stars shone in upon them.Their two or three fellow-passengers sat for most of the time with closed eyes.Stephen sometimes slept;Elfride alone was wakeful and palpitating hour after hour.
The day began to break,and revealed that they were by the sea.
Red rocks overhung them,and,receding into distance,grew livid in the blue grey atmosphere.The sun rose,and sent penetrating shafts of light in upon their weary faces.Another hour,and the world began to be busy.They waited yet a little,and the train slackened its speed in view of the platform at St.Launces.
She shivered,and mused sadly.
I did not see all the consequences,she said.Appearances are wofully against me.If anybody finds me out,I am,I suppose,disgraced.
Then appearances will speak falsely;and how can that matter,even if they do?I shall be your husband sooner or later,for certain,and so prove your purity.
Stephen,once in London I ought to have married you,she said firmly.It was my only safe defence.I see more things now than I did yesterday.My only remaining chance is not to be discovered;and that we must fight for most desperately.
They stepped out.Elfride pulled a thick veil over her face.
A woman with red and scaly eyelids and glistening eyes was sitting on a bench just inside the office-door.She fixed her eyes upon Elfride with an expression whose force it was impossible to doubt,but the meaning of which was not clear;then upon the carriage they had left.She seemed to read a sinister story in the scene.
Elfride shrank back,and turned the other way.
Who is that woman?said Stephen.She looked hard at you.
Mrs.Jethway--a widow,and mother of that young man whose tomb we sat on the other night.Stephen,she is my enemy.Would that God had had mercy enough upon me to have hidden this from HER!
Do not talk so hopelessly,he remonstrated.I dont think she recognized us.
I pray that she did not.