第3章 逗比朋友(3)

只剩一个引擎

一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时。”

过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了，只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。”

正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都呆在天上了。”

22 The Poem Was Stolen

One evening a young man at Oxford who was known to be something of a poet read one of his poems to a small group of friends in his room.The poem was greatly admired，but as they came away，one of the friends，Glen，said，I was very much interested in Alfred’s poem but it was stolen from a book."

This remark was repeated to Alfred，who was very annoyed and demanded an apology.

"Well，"said Glen，"I don’t often take back what I have said，but on this occasion I admit I was mistaken.When I returned to my room I looked in the book from which I thought the poem was stolen and I found it was still there."

偷诗

一天晚上，牛津大学一位有点诗才的年轻人在他的房间里给几个朋友念他写的一首诗，他这首诗大受称赞。但是，他们离开后，一个名叫格林的朋友说：“我对阿尔弗雷德的诗非常感兴趣，但他这是从一本书上偷来的。”

这话传到了阿尔弗雷德那里，他非常气恼，要求格林道歉。

“噢，”格林说，“我说出去的话通常不会收回，但这次我承认是我错了。我以为他从那本书里偷走了这首诗，但等我回到房间看那本书时，发现那首诗还在那里。”

23 Tossing the Coin

A beautiful girl reports for her University Final Examination that consists of Y／N‐type questions.

She takes her seat in the examination hall，stares at the questions paper for five minutes，and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out，removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet.Heads for Y and tails for N.

Within half an hour she finishes her paper whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.During the last few minutes，she is desperately throwing the coin.

The moderator，alarmed，approaches her and asks what is going on.

"I finished the exam in half an hour.But，"she says，"I’m rechecking my answers."

掷硬币

一个漂亮的女孩参加大学期末考试，试题均为是非题。

她在考场座位上坐下来，盯着考题看了5分钟，随后突然灵机一动，拿出钱夹，掏出一枚硬币，然后一边抛硬币，一边填写答题纸。硬币正面朝上填“对”，反面朝上填“错”。

她不到半小时就做完了考题，而其他考生正在吃力地答题。在最后几分钟，她又在拼命掷硬币。

监考老师对她的行为提高了警惕，走到她跟前，问发生了什么事儿。

“我半小时就做完了。不过，”她说，“我正在复查答案。”

24 My First and My Last

When George was thirty‐two，he bought a small plane and learned to fly it.He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.

George had a friend.His name was Mark.One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane.Mark thought，"I’ve travelled in a big plane several times，but I’ve never been in a small one，so I’ll go."

They went up，and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air.

When they came down again，Mark was very glad to be back safely，and he said to his friend in a shaking voice，"Well，George，thank you very much for those two trips in your plane."

George was very surprised and said，"Two trips ？"

"Yes，my first and my last."answered Mark.

第一次与最后一次

乔治三十二岁时买了架小型飞机，并开始学习驾驶。不久，他就能很娴熟地驾机做各种各样的特技飞行了。

乔治有个朋友名叫马克。一天，乔治主动邀请马克乘他的飞机上天兜一圈。

马克心想：“我乘大客机飞行过好几次，还从来没有乘过小飞机，我不妨试一试。”

升空后，乔治飞了有半个小时，在空中做了各种各样的飞行特技。

后来他们着陆了，马克很高兴能够安全返回地面。他用颤抖的声音对他的朋友说：“乔治，非常感谢你让我乘小飞机做了两次飞行。”

乔治非常吃惊地问：“两次飞行？”

“是的，我的第一次和最后一次。”马克答道。

25 Pay As Little As Possible

A businessman，who always tried to pay as little as possible for what he needed，felt ill one day.He decided to go to a doctor and asked a friend to recommend one.

"Dr.Smith has a good reputation."the friend told him.

"Is he expensive？"the businessman asked.

"Yes and no.He charges fifty dollars for the first visit，but only twenty dollars for each visit after that."

"That seems reasonable."the businessman said，and went to visit Dr.Smith.As he walked into the consulting room，he said，"Well，here I am again，doctor，"and put twenty dollars on the table.

The doctor looked at him carefully for a moment，then smiled and put the money into the drawer of this desk."Thank you，"he said，"And what can I do for you today？"

"Examine me，of course，"the businessman said，"and tell me what’s wrong with me."

"Oh，there’s no need for me to examine you again."the doctor said，"Just continue taking the medicine I prescribed for you when you came to see me last time."

省钱

一个商人总是想方设法为他需要的东西省钱。有一天，他突

然病了，决定去看医生，便请一位朋友给他推荐一位。

“史密斯大夫声望不错。”朋友对他说。

“他收费高吗？”商人问道。

“高，但也可以说不算高。他第一次看病收费50美元，以后每次看病只收二十美元。”

“听起来很合理。”商人说，然后就去史密斯大夫那里了。走进诊所时，他说：“噢，我又来了，大夫。”然后将二十美元放在了桌子上。

医生仔细看了他一会儿，然后面带微笑，将钱放进了办公桌抽屉里，说：“谢谢，你今天看什么病？”

“当然是给我检查了，”商人说，“给我看看得了什么病。”

“噢，我没必要再给你检查了，”医生说，“请继续吃你上次来时我给你开的药吧。”