第3章 动物也疯狂(3)

17 You Know That

There was a pet store and the owner had a parrot.In walked a couple and the parrot said to the man，"Hey you！"The man said，"WHAT！？"The parrot said，"Your wife is fat and ugly."The man got totally upset and huffed and went to the pet storeowner and said，"Your bird just insulted my wife.It said she was fat and ugly."

The owner stormed over，grabbed the bird，took him in the"black room"，shook him a bit，pulled out a few feathers，got in his face and said，"Don’t you ever，ever say anything to embarrass any of my customers again.You got that！！！".

With that warning he took the bird and put him back on his perch.The old bird shook out his feathers and relaxed on his perch.A couple of weeks passed and in walked this guy and his wife again.The parrot said，"Hey you！"The guy said，"WHAT！？"The parrot answered，"You know that."

你知道我要说什么

宠物店老板有一只鹦鹉。这一天，店里来了一对夫妇。鹦鹉对丈夫说：“嗨，老兄。”丈夫问：“什么？”鹦鹉说：“你老婆又肥又丑。”丈夫非常生气，怒气冲冲地找到宠物店老板：“你的鹦鹉刚才侮辱我妻子，它说我妻子又肥又丑。”

老板气呼呼地跑过去，一把抓起鹦鹉，将它带到“小黑屋”，使劲地摇晃它，还拔掉了鹦鹉身上的几根毛，恶狠狠地对它说：“不许你再对我的顾客说侮辱性的话。听明白了！”

警告过鹦鹉后，宠物店老板将鹦鹉放回到栖息木上，那只老鹦鹉抖抖身上的羽毛，趴下休息了。几周后，那对夫妇又来到宠物店里，鹦鹉对丈夫说：“嗨，老兄。”男的问：“什么？”鹦鹉回答道：“你知道我想说什么。”

18 Cat and Mouse

A mouse used to live in a winer，and he would climb up on the rim of a vat and run around and around the edge.One day he finally slipped and fell into the vat full of wine.He couldn’t get on again，so he swam around in the wine and shouted，"Help！Help！"

A cat heard the mouse’s cries for help，climbed up onto the rim and sat looking down at him.The mouse cried，"Please，Mr.Cat，help me！I’m drowning！"

The cat said，"Well，if I save you，what do I get？"

The mouse said，"Anything！Help me！"

The cat said，"Well，if I save you，can I eat you？"

The mouse said，"Yes！Yes！Anything you want！"So the cat reached down with his paw and hooked the mouse back up to safety.The mouse immediately shook himself dry and then darted back into his hole.

The cat said，"Mr.Mouse，you’re not keeping your word！You said I could eat you！"

The mouse said，"Well，Mr.Cat，what do you expect？I was drunk at the time！"

猫和老鼠

一只老鼠曾经住在酿酒厂，他能沿着桶的边缘爬上酿酒的大桶，然后在边缘上跑来跑去。有一天他的脚滑了一下，掉进了盛满酒的大桶里。他爬不出来，只能在酒里游来游去，大喊：“救命，救命！”

一只猫听见了老鼠救命的呼喊声，爬上了边缘，坐下来看着它。老鼠哭喊着恳求到：“拜托您了，猫先生，救救我，我要淹死了！”

猫说：“如果我救了你，我能得到什么呢？”

老鼠说：“什么都行，救救我！”

猫说：“那么，如果我救了你，我能吃掉你吗？”

老鼠说：“可以！可以！你想做什么都行！”猫就把爪子伸了进去，让老鼠重新回到了安全地带。老鼠立马晃了晃身子把自己甩干，然后飞奔回了自己的洞。

猫说：“老鼠先生，你没有遵守诺言！你说我可以吃掉你的！”

老鼠说：“是这样的，猫先生，你怎么能对那个抱有期待呢？我当时喝醉了啊！”

19 Who Is It

A lady was expecting the plumber，and he was supposed to come at ten o’clock.

Ten o’clock came and went，no plumber.Eleven o’clock，twelve o’clock，one o’clock，no plumber.

She concluded he wasn’t coming，and went out to do some shopping.While she was out，the plumber arrived.

He knocked on the door，and the lady’s parrot said，"Who is it？"He replied，"It’s the plumber."

He thought it was the lady who’d said，"Who is it？"and waited for her to come and let him in.

When this didn’t happen he knocked again，and again the parrot said，"Who is it？"He said，"It’s the plumber！"