第222章 不是所有事情都要有意义

Not Everything Has to Be Meaningful

不是所有事情都要有意义

By Brad Stulberg

In 2017， I was blindsided by the sudden onset of obsessive-compulsive disorder and secondary depression. It was a terrifying and disorienting ordeal. I had always been— and to a large extent， still am— an optimistic， growth-oriented and meaning-seeking person. Part of what I found so confounding about the experience was how utterly meaningless it felt.

2017年，我的强迫症和继发性抑郁症突然发作，让我措手不及。那是段煎熬的日子，让人惶恐不安，迷失方向。其实一直以来，我都很乐观，我是个以成长为导向，追求意义感的人——而且在很大程度上现在仍是如此。可这段经历让我感到十分不解，其中一部分原因就是，它居然如此地毫无意义。

Four months into my recovery， I shared my concerns with my therapist.“Why does what you are experiencing right now need to have some greater purpose?“ she asked me.“Not everything has to be meaningful and you don't have to grow from it. Why can't it just suck， at least for the time being?“

在康复治疗进行到第四个月时，我向我的心理医生表达了这个担忧。“为什么你现在所经历的事情需要有很大的意义？”她问我。“不是所有事情都要有意义，你也不一定要从中获得成长。为什么事情就不能很糟糕，至少接受它暂时就是如此呢？”

A large body of psychology research shows that constructs such as growth mind-set， gratitude and construing meaning out of struggle can promote well-being. However， there are times when what you are going through is so painful， vexing and void of purpose that trying to adhere to these constructs hinders， rather than helps， your healing.

大量心理学研究表明，一些思考方式比如成长型思维、懂得感激、从挣扎中领悟意义等等可以提升人的幸福感。可有时候，你正在遭受的一切令你如此痛苦不堪、忧愁烦闷、空洞迷茫，努力去坚持这些概念只会阻碍而非帮助你康复。

As I found， sometimes simply focusing on showing up and getting through is more than enough. That's not to say we ought to wallow in despair or become nihilistic. Pain and suffering are often followed by meaning， but they have to arrive on their own schedule. In other words， when you are in the thick of pain or struggle， meaning can feel elusive， and trying to force it usually backfires. But with time and distance， meaning often emerges， even when you least expect it.

就像我体悟到的那样，有时在痛苦面前，你仅仅只需要专注于出现在那，然后捱过去，就足够了。这并不是说我们应该沉溺在绝望之中，或者走向虚无主义。痛苦和磨难往往伴随着意义，但它们的浮现自有其安排。换句话说，当你处在深深的痛苦或挣扎之中时，意义会让你感到难以捉摸，而试图强求，通常会适得其反。但随着时间的流逝，距离的拉远，它的意义多半会浮现，甚至是在你最意想不到的时候。

It seems then， that the most important thing to do when in the midst of a life upheaval is to release yourself from any expectations altogether. Be patient and be kind to yourself. Seek help and social support. Do what you can to hold onto the fact that what feels like forever now probably won't in the future. If you find immediate meaning and growth in your experience， that's great. But if not， that's OK， too.

这样看来，在人生剧变之际，最重要的事情似乎就是把自己从一切期待中解脱出来。要有耐心，要善待自己。要去寻求帮助和社会支持。尽你所能地认定这样一个事实：现在感觉永远都过不去了的那些事情，将来可能都会过去。如果你在这段经历中很快找到了意义和成长，那很好。但如果没有，也没关系。