从本书获得最大教益的九条建议

1.如果你想通过本书获得最大教益，有一个必不可少的条件，一个比任何规则或技术都重要的基本条件。除非你具备了这种基本条件，否则即使再多的规则也毫无意义。假如你真的具备这种异常重要的天资，那么你将创造出奇迹，而不必去读书中提出来的最大限度地获益的建议。

这种奇妙的条件是什么？那就是深入学习的强烈欲望，一种提高你的为人处世能力的决心。

如何才能使这种欲望获得滋长的营养呢？那就是经常性地提醒自己这些原则对你多么重要。你可以不断地想象，如果能够自如地应用这些规则，将会使你的生活变得更加富有，更加多彩，更加快乐充实。要一而再再而三地对自己说：“我之所以受人欢迎，我之所以幸福，我的收入之所以增加，大部分都是因为我的为人处世的技巧。”

2.首先快速阅读完每一章，以获得整体概念。然后你可能会急着读下一章，但是不要这样做——除非你只是为了消遣。如果你是为了提高自己的为人处世技巧，那么你应该再返回去，将读过的内容再详细阅读。这才是既省时间又能

4.Read with a crayon, pencil, pen, magic marker or highlighter in your hand. When you come across a suggestion that you feel you can use, draw a line beside it. If it is a four-star suggestion, then underscore every sentence or highlight it, or mark it with “****.” Marking and underscoring a book makes it more interesting, and far easier to review rapidly.

5. I knew a woman who had been office manager for a large insurance concern for fifteen years. Every month, she read all the insurance contracts her company had issued that month. Yes, she read many of the same contracts over month after month, year after year. Why? Because experience had taught her that that was the only way she could keep their provisions clearly in mind.

I once spent almost two years writing a book on public speaking and yet I found I had to keep going back over it from time to time in order to remember what I had written in my own book. The rapidity with which we forget is astonishing.

So, if you want to get a real, lasting benefit out of this book, don't imagine that skimming through it once will suffice. After reading it thoroughly, you ought to spend a few hours reviewing it every month.Keep it on your desk in front of you every day.Glance through it often.Keep constantly impressing yourself with the rich possibilities for improvement that still lie in the offing.Remember that the use of these principles can be made habitual only by a constant and vigorous campaign of review and application. There is no other way.

6.Bernard Shaw once remarked, “If you teach a man anything, he will never learn.” Shaw was right.Learning is an active process. We learn by doing. So, if you desire to master the principles you are studying in this book, do something about them.Apply these rules at every opportunity. If you don't you will forget them quickly.Only

取得效果的好办法。

3.阅读的时候经常停下来，思考自己所读的内容。还要问自己什么时候、如何运用各项建议。

4.阅读时手里拿一支笔。当遇到一条你认为可以采用的建议时，就在旁边画一条线。如果这是一条极妙的建议，那么你还要在句子的下面划一道线或星号。这将使你的阅读更有意思，也更容易快速复习。

5.我认识一位女士，她曾在某家大保险公司担任经理达15年之久。她每个月都要翻看公司当月签订的保险合同。是的，她每个月、每年都会这样翻看同样的保险合同。为什么她要这样做呢？因为经验告诉她，这是让她清楚地记住保险条款的唯一有效的方法。

有一次，我曾花了将近两年的时间写一本当众演讲的书。但是我发现，为了记住我在书中写了些什么，我必须经常性地返回去看。我们遗忘的速度实在太惊人了！

所以，如果你想从本书获得真实持久的教益，就不要以为匆匆浏览一遍就管用了。在仔细阅读之后，你每个月还应该花几个小时温习。把它放在你每天用的桌子上，经常看看它。这样你才会注意到深藏在你身体内部的、可以大大改进的潜能。要记住，只有通过长期深切地温习与实践，你才会习惯性地应用这些原则。除此之外没有其他办法。

knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.

You will probably find it difficult to apply these suggestions all the time. I know because I wrote the book, and yet frequently I found it difficult to apply everything I advocated. For example, when you are displeased, it is much easier to criticize and condemn than it is to try to understand the other person's viewpoint. It is frequently easier to find fault than to find praise. It is more natural to talk about what you want than to talk about what the other person wants. And so on. So, as you read this book, remember that you are not merely trying to acquire information. You are attempting to form new habits.Ah yes, you are attempting a new way of life. That will require time and persistence and daily application.

So refer to these pages often. Regard this as a working handbook on human relations; and whenever you are confronted with some specific problem—such as handling a child, winning your spouse to your way of thinking, or satisfying an irritated customer—hesitate about doing the natural thing, the impulsive thing. This is usually wrong. Instead, turn to these pages and review the paragraphs you have underscored. Then try these new ways and watch them achieve magic for you.

7. Offer your spouse, your child or some business associate a dime or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating a certain principle.Make a lively game out of mastering these rules.

8. The president of an important Wall Street bank once described, in a talk before one of my classes, a highly efficient system he used for self-improvement. This man had little formal schooling; yet he had become one of the most important financiers in America, and

6.萧伯纳曾说：“如果你是去教某个人做某事，他永远学不会。”他说得很对。学习是一个自动的过程，我们总是在一边做一边学。因此，如果你想掌握从本书学到的原则，那么只要有机会，就应该将所学知识应用到实践中去，否则，你将很快遗忘它们。记住，只有用过的知识才会给你的脑海留下深刻的印象。

你或许会觉得，要想每时每刻都应用这些原则非常困难。我当然知道这一点。在我写这本书的时候，我也觉得很难按照我提出来的每一项建议去做。例如，当别人令你不高兴的时候，批评和斥责显然要比了解对方的观点更加容易。挑毛病总比称赞要容易得多，而且谈论你自己所需要的远比谈论对方所需要的要自然得多，其他的例子也很多。所以，你在读这本书时，不要忘了你不是仅需要获得一些知识，更需要养成一种新的习惯。你是在尝试一种新的生活方法，这需要时间、毅力和亲身实践。

所以要经常看这本书，把它当作一本为人处世的实用手册，无论你在什么时候遇到特殊问题——例如管教孩子、让你的配偶同意你的观点，或者让一个愤怒的顾客心满意足——都不要有冲动之举，这通常是不对的。相反，你可以求助于本书，看你划了重点的段落。然后试着应用这些方法，观察它们为你创造的奇迹。

7.每次当你的配偶、孩子或同事发现你没有遵守某一原则时，不妨给他一点钱，以示对自己的处罚。这将使得掌握这些规则成为一项有趣的游戏。

he confessed that he owed most of his success to the constant application of his homemade system. This is what he does, I'll put it in his own words as accurately as I can remember.

“For years I have kept an engagement book showing all the appointments I had during the day. My family never made any plans for me on Saturday night, for the family knew that I devoted a part of each Saturday evening to the illuminating process of self-examination and review and appraisal. After dinner I went off by myself, opened my engagement book, and thought over all the interviews, discussions and meetings that had taken place during the week. I asked myself:

‘What mistakes did I make that time?'‘What did I do that was right—and in what way could I have improved my performance?'

‘What lessons can I learn from that experience?'

“I often found that this weekly review made me very unhappy. I was frequently astonished at my own blunders. Of course, as the years passed, these blunders became less frequent. Sometimes I was inclined to pat myself on the back a little after one of these sessions. This system of self-analysis, self-education, continued year after year, did more for me than any other one thing I have ever attempted.

“It helped me improve my ability to make decisions—and it aided me enormously in all my contacts with people. I cannot recommend it too highly.”

Why not use a similar system to check up on your application of the principles discussed in this book? If you do, two things will result.

First, you will find yourself engaged in an educational process that is both intriguing and priceless.

8.华尔街一家重要银行的董事长曾在我的一个班上发表过一次演讲，介绍他是如何自我完善的。这个人接受的正规教育很少，但他现在是美国最重要的金融家之一。他认为自己之所以成功，大部分都应该归功于经常运用自我克制。下面就是他的做法，我凭记忆用他自己的话叙述如下：

“我这些年一直保存着一本约会的小册子，上面记录了我所有的约会。我的家人从不会在星期六晚上与我订约会，因为他们知道我会在每个星期六的晚上进行自省。晚饭之后，我一个人关在房间，翻开我的约会簿，回想这一周所有的会谈、讨论及集会。我会问自己：

“‘我做错了什么？’‘我做的哪些是对的？怎样才能有所改进？’

“‘从这些经验中我能获得什么教训？’

“我常常发现，这种每周的自我反省让我很不愉快。我对自己的错误常常感到痛心。但是几年之后，这些错误也就不怎么出现了。现在，有时我在这种自省之后，会感到极大的宽慰。这样长期坚持下来，这种自我分析、自我教育的方法，比我所试用过的任何方法都更有效。

“这种方法帮助我增强了决断能力——对我的为人处世也有很大的帮助。我非常乐意推荐这种方法。”

为什么不用类似的方法，来检验你是如何应用本书所介绍的原则的？如果你

Second, you will find that your ability to meet and deal with people will grow enormously.

9. You will find at the end of this book several blank pages on which you should record your triumphs in the application of these principles.Be specific. Give names, dates, results.Keeping such a record will inspire you to greater efforts; and how fascinating these entries will be when you chance upon them some evening years from now!

In order to get the most out of this book:

a. Develop a deep, driving desire to master the principles of human relations.

b. Read each chapter twice before going on to the next one.

c. As you read, stop frequently to ask yourself how you can apply each suggestion.

d. Underscore each important idea.

e. Review this book each month.

f. Apply these principles at every opportunity.Use this volume as a working handbook to help you solve your daily problems.

g. Make a lively game out of your learning by offering some friends a dime or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating one of these principles.

h. Check up each week on the progress you are making.Ask yourself what mistakes you have made, what improvement, what lessons you have learned for the future.

i. Keep notes in the back of this book showing how and when you have applied these principles.

这样做，就会有两种效果：

第一，你将会发现，自己所接受的是一种有趣而宝贵的教育。

第二，你将会发现，自己的为人处世能力将大大提高。

9.你将会发现，本书最后有几页白纸，你可以写下运用这些原则所取得的成果。注意将姓名、日期和结果写清楚。这样将会激励你更加努力。当你在多年之后再翻看这些时，将会觉得其乐无穷！

为了从本书获得最大教益：

a.培养一种深刻而强烈的、掌握为人处世原则的欲望。

b.在阅读下一章之前，将前面的章节读两遍。

c.阅读的时候，要经常停下来问自己，如何才能运用各项建议。

d.在每个重要的观点旁边做记号。

e.每个月温习本书一次。

f.抓住每一个可以运用这些原则的机会。将本书作为帮助你解决日常问题的实用手册。

g.每当你违反某一项原则而被你的朋友抓到时，给他一点钱，使你的学习成为一种活泼有趣的游戏。

h.每个星期对你的进步检查一次。问自己曾犯了什么错，有什么改进，有什么教训，将来该如何做。

i.在书后面做记录，写下你是在什么时候以及如何应用这些原则的。