第5章　如何让别人对你感兴趣

每一个拜访过西奥多·罗斯福总统的人，都会对他那渊博的知识感到惊讶。不论是牧童还是骑士，或纽约的政客和外交家，罗斯福都知道该和他说些什么。那么，罗斯福又是如何做的呢？答案很简单——不论罗斯福要见什么人，他总是会在头天晚上晚些入睡，翻阅一些来访者会特别感兴趣的知识。

因为罗斯福和所有领袖人物一样，深知通达对方内心的妙方，就是和对方谈论他最感兴趣的事情。

散文家、耶鲁大学文学教授菲尔普斯先生是个非常和蔼的人，他在早年就学到了这个道理。

“我8岁那年，有一次去姑姑林斯莉家过周末，”菲利普在他一篇谈论人性的小品文中这样写道，“有一天晚上，一位中年人来访。在和姑姑随便聊了几句之后，他就把注意力转移到了我身上。当时我对船的兴趣正浓，而这位客人和我谈论了这方面的知识，令我产生了特殊的兴趣。他离开之后，我还对他赞赏不已。多么了不起啊！姑姑告诉我，他是纽约的一位律师，本来他对有关船的事情是不应该如此热心的，甚至应该是毫无兴趣可言的。‘可是，他为什么自始至终

“‘Because he is a gentleman. He saw you were interested in boats, and he talked about the things he knew would interest and please you. He made himself agreeable.'”

And William Lyon Phelps added, “I never forgot my aunt's remark.”

As I write this chapter, I have before me a letter from Edward L. Chalif, who was active in Boy Scout work.

“One day I found I needed a favor,” wrote Mr. Chalif.“A big Scout jamboree was coming off in Europe, and I wanted the president of one of the largest corporations in America to pay the expenses of one of my boys for the trip. Fortunately, just before I went to see this man, I heard that he had drawn a check for a million dollars, and that after it was canceled, he had had it framed. So the first thing I did when I entered his office was to ask to see the check. A check for a million dollars! I told him I never knew that anybody had ever written such a check, and that I wanted to tell my boys that I had actually seen a check for a million dollars. He gladly showed it to me; I admired it and asked him to tell me all about how it happened to be drawn.”

You notice, don't you, that Mr. Chalif didn't begin by talking about the Buy Scouts, or the jamboree in Europe, or what it was he wanted? He talked in terms of what interested the other man.Here's the result:

“Presently, the man I was interviewing said，‘Oh, by the way, what was it you wanted to see me about?'So I told him.

“To my vast surprise,” Mr. Chalif continues, “he not only granted immediately what I asked for, but much more. I had asked him to send only one boy to Europe, but he sent

都在谈论有关船的问题呢？’

“‘因为他是一位绅士。他见你对船很感兴趣，就谈论他认为能使你注意并高兴的话题。这使得他成为一个受欢迎的人。’”

菲尔普斯教授又补充说：“我永远也忘不了我姑姑的话。”

就在我写这章的时候，我面前放着一封查立夫先生的来信，他是一位热心于童子军事业的人。

“一天，我感到我需要帮助。”查立夫先生写道，“欧洲将举办童子军夏令营活动，我想邀请美国某家大公司的经理赞助一位童子军的旅行。幸运的是，在拜访他之前，我听说他曾开出了一张100万美元的支票。这张支票退回来后，他把它放在了镜框中。所以我进他办公室的第一件事就是请他给我展示那张支票。我告诉他，我这辈子从来都没有听说有人开过数额如此巨大的支票。我还要告诉我的童子军，说我的确看到过一张100万美元的支票。他愉快地把那张支票给我看。我赞叹不已，并请他把开这张支票的详细情况告诉我。”

请注意，查立夫先生在刚开始时并没有谈有关童子军或欧洲夏令营的事，也没有谈他想要对方帮助的事。他只是谈对方感兴趣的话题。下面就是结果：

“过了一会儿，我拜访的那位经理问我：‘哦，请问你来找我有什么事？’我就把我的事情告诉了他。

“令我吃惊的是，他不但立即答应了我的请求，还给了我更多的资助。我本

five boys and myself, gave me a letter of credit for a thousand dollars and told us to stay in Europe for seven weeks. He also gave me letters of introduction to his branch presidents, putting them at our service, and he himself met us in Paris and showed us the town. Since then, he has given jobs to some of the boys whose parents were in want, and he is still active in our group.

“Yet I know if I hadn't found out what he was interested in, and got him warmed up first, I wouldn't have found him one-tenth as easy to approach.”

Is this a valuable technique to use in business? Is it? Let's see. Take Henry G.Duvernoy of Duvernoy and Sons, a wholesale baking firm in New York.

Mr. Duvernoy had been trying to sell bread to a certain New York hotel. He had called on the manager every week for four years. He went to the same social affairs the manager attended. He even took rooms in the hotel and lived there in order to get the business. But he failed.

“Then,” said Mr. Duvernoy, “after studying human relations, I resolved to change my tactics. I decided to find out what interested this man—what caught his enthusiasm.

“I discovered he belonged to a society of hotel executives called the Hotel Greeters of America. He not only belonged, but his bubbling enthusiasm had made him president of the organization, and president of the International Greeters. No matter where its conventions were held, he would be there.

“So when I saw him the next day, I began talking about the Greeters. What a response I got. What a response! He talked to me for half an hour about the Greeters, his tones

来只请他赞助一名童子军去欧洲，可是他资助了5名童子军和我本人，给我开了一张1000美元的支票，并建议我们在欧洲玩上7个星期。然后，他又给我一封介绍信，把我引荐给他在欧洲分公司的经理，请他们到时候帮助我们，他又亲自去巴黎接我们，带领我们游览了这座城市。从此以后，他就经常为家庭贫困的童子军提供工作的机会，对我们童子军事业非常热心。

“但是我也很清楚，如果我当时没有找到他感兴趣的话题，让他高兴起来，那么我大概连十分之一的机会都没有。”

这种方法在商业活动中也有价值吧？我们就举个例子，来看看纽约一家高级面包公司——杜弗诺公司的经理杜弗诺先生是怎样做的吧：

杜弗诺先生一直想把面包推销给纽约某家大饭店。连续4年，杜弗诺先生几乎每个星期都要去拜访这家饭店的经理，并且经常参加这位经理出席的各种社交聚会。为了促成这笔生意，他甚至在这家饭店租了一个房间住在那里。但是他仍未做成生意。

“后来，”杜弗诺先生说，“我研究了人际关系，决定改变策略。我决定找到这个人的兴趣所在，找出他最热衷的事业。

“我发现他是美国饭店业协会的会员。不仅如此，由于他在这方面的浓厚兴趣，使他被推举为这个组织的主席。每次只要开会或举行什么活动，他都会参加。

“于是，当我再次去拜访他的时候，我开始和他谈论饭店业协会的事情。你

vibrant with enthusiasm. I could plainly see that this society was not only his hobby, it was the passion of his life. Before I left his office, he had‘sold’me a membership in his organization.

“In the meantime, I had said nothing about bread. But a few days later, the steward of his hotel phoned me to come over with samples and prices.

“‘I don't know what you did to the old boy，'the steward greeted me，‘but he sure is sold on you!'

“Think of it! I had been drumming at that man for four years—trying to get his business—and I'd still be drumming at him if I hadn't finally taken the trouble to find out what he was interested in, and what he enjoyed talking about.”

Talking in terms of the other person's interests pays off for both parties. Howard Z.Herzig, a leader in the field of employee communications, has always followed this principle. When asked what reward he got from it, Mr.Herzig responded that he not only received a different reward from each person but that in general the reward had been an enlargement of his life each time he spoke to someone.

Principle 5：Talk in terms of the other person's interests.

猜他怎么了？他的反应简直令人吃惊！他和我谈了半小时饭店业协会的事情，而且精神饱满，充满热情。我可以明确看出他不仅对饭店业协会的事情感兴趣，而且将自己的全部精力都投入在这上面。就在我离开他的办公室之前，他劝我加入了这个协会。

“在这次会谈中，我没有提有关面包的半个字。可是没过几天，我就接到他饭店主管人员的电话，让我把面包的货样和报价单送过去。

“‘我真不知道你对这老先生用了什么魔法，’这位主管人员对我说，‘他可是真的被你打动了！’

“试想一下！我和这位经理打了4年交道，一心想把面包卖给他。如果不是设法找到他感兴趣的事，了解他愿意讨论的问题，恐怕我现在还一无所获！”

谈论别人感兴趣的话题，双方都不会有损失。霍华德·赫齐兹是雇员通讯领域的领袖，他曾奉行着这项法则。当被问到从中有何受益时，他说他不仅从不同的人那里获益，而且每次与人谈话时，这种获益从整体上丰富了他的生活。

第五项规则：谈论别人感兴趣的话题。