第2章　产生良好印象的简单方法

在纽约的一次晚宴上，有一位客人——她是一位继承了大笔遗产的女士，因为迫切想给每个人留下良好的印象，就花费重金买了貂皮、钻石和珍珠。但是，她对自己的面孔却没做任何打扮。她的脸上充满了尖酸刻薄以及自私。她并不明白每个人都知道的道理——那就是一个人脸上的神色，要远远比她身上所穿的衣服重要得多。

施瓦伯告诉我，他的微笑价值百万。他大概深谙这一真理，因为施瓦伯的性格、他的魅力、他那令人欢喜的能力，几乎正是他超常成功的主要原因。而他的个性中最可爱的因素之一，就是他那能够打动一切人的微笑。

行动胜于言论。微笑会让人明白：“我喜欢你。你使我快乐。我很高兴见到你。”

这就是狗为什么讨人喜欢的原因。它们是那么高兴见到我们，以至于心都要从肚子里跳出来似的。所以，我们当然也高兴看见它们。

婴儿的微笑也有同样的效果。

你是否曾在医院的候诊室里待过？是否注意到四周的人都阴沉着脸，十分厌烦的样子？住在密苏里州雷顿市的兽医史蒂芬·史波尔曾说过这样一件事：有一

waiting to have their pets inoculated. No one was talking to anyone else, and all were probably thinking of a dozen other things they would rather be doing than “wasting time” sitting in that office. He told one of our classes:“There were six or seven clients waiting when a young woman came in with a nine-month-old baby and a kitten. As luck would have it, she sat down next to a gentleman who was more than a little distraught about the long wait for service. The next thing he knew, the baby just looked up at him with that great big smile that is so characteristic of babies. What did that gentleman do? Just what you and I would do, of course; he smiled back at the baby. Soon he struck up a conversation with the woman about her baby and his grandchildren, and soon the entire reception room joined in, and the boredom and tension were converted into a pleasant and enjoyable experience.”

An insincere grin? No. That doesn't fool anybody. We know it is mechanical and we resent it. I am talking about a real smile, a heartwarming smile, a smile that comes from within, the kind of smile that will bring a good price in the marketplace.

Professor James V. McConnell, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, expressed his feelings about a smile.“People who smile,” he said, “tend to manage teach and sell more effectively, and to raise happier children. There's far more information in a smile than a flown. That's why encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment.”

The employment manager of a large New York department store told me she would rather hire a sales clerk who hadn't finished grade school, if he or she has a pleasant

年的春天，在他的候诊室中挤满了人，等着给他们的宠物注射疫苗。没有一个人说话，也许每个人都在想该干些什么，而不是坐在那儿浪费时间。他在我们一个班上讲道：“候诊室有六七个人在等着，这时进来一位女士，她带了一个9个月大的孩子和一只小猫。她坐在一位男士的边上，而这位男士正等得不耐烦了。当他朝边上看时，那个孩子正注视着他，并天真无邪地向他笑着。这位男士的反应如何呢？和你我一样，他也对那个孩子笑了笑。然后他就和那位母亲聊了起来，谈到了她的孩子和他的孙子。很快，整个候诊室的人都聊了起来，气氛活跃了，每个人都有了一种愉快的体验。”

小孩的笑是否不诚意呢？绝对不是。不诚意的笑是骗不了人的。我们知道那种笑是机械的，我们会厌恶它。我是在讲一种真正的微笑、热心的微笑、发自内心的微笑，那种在人际交往中极具价值的微笑。

密歇根大学心理学教授詹姆斯·麦克奈尔谈了他对微笑的看法。他说：“那些笑脸常在的人，在教育和推销当中会更容易成功，更容易培养快乐的下一代。笑容比皱眉头更能传情达意，这正是鼓励比惩罚更能起到有效教育的原因所在。”

纽约一家大百货商店的人事经理告诉我，他情愿雇一个带着可爱微笑的小学未毕业的职员，也不愿雇一位面孔冷淡的哲学博士。

即使我们不能看到笑的本质，但它的影响却是很大的。遍布全美国的电话公

smile, than to hire a doctor of philosophy with a somber face.

The effect of a smile is powerful—even when it is unseen. Telephone companies throughout the United States have a program called “phone power” which is offered to employees who use the telephone for selling their services or products. In this program they suggest that you smile when talking on the phone. Your “smile” comes through in your voice.

The chairman of the board of directors of one of the largest rubber companies in the United States told me that, according to his observations, people rarely succeed at anything unless they have fun doing it. This industrial leader doesn't put much faith in the old adage that hard work alone is the magic key that will unlock the door to our desires, “I have known people,” he said, “who succeeded because they had a rip-roaring good time conducting their business.Later, I saw those people change as the fun became work. The business had grown dull. They lost all joy in it, and they failed.”

You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.

I have asked thousands of business people to smile at someone every hour of the day for a week and then come to class and talk about the results. How did it work? Let's see... Here is a letter from William B. Steinhardt, a New York stockbroker. His case isn't isolated. In fact, it is typical of hundreds of cases.

“I have been married for over eighteen years,” wrote Mr. Steinhardt, “and in all that time I seldom smiled at my wife or spoke two dozen words to her from the time I got up until I was ready to leave for business. I was one of the worst grouches who ever walked

司有一个栏目叫“电话的威力”，这个栏目是为用电话推销产品和服务的业务员提供的。在这个栏目中，电话公司建议在你打电话时，应该保持微笑，但是这种微笑可以通过你的声音来传达。

美国最大的一家橡胶公司的董事长告诉我，根据他的观察，一个人无论做什么事，除非他对此很感兴趣，否则将很难成功。这位实业界的领袖对“十年寒窗可以成就功名”那句老话并不太相信。“我认识一些人，”他说，“他们起初成功了，因为他们对他们的事业极其感兴趣。后来，我看见那些人开始变成工作的奴隶，工作对他们而言变得异常无聊，他们失掉了所有工作中的乐趣，于是他们失败了。”

如果你希望别人看到你的时候很愉快，那么当你看见别人时，你也一定要心情愉悦。

我曾建议成千上万的商界人士，花上一个星期的时间，每天的每小时都要对人微笑，然后再回到班上来谈结果。效果怎样呢？就让我们来看看……这是纽约证券交易所会员威廉·史丹哈德的一封信。他的情况并不是个别现象。事实上，它是好几百人中的代表。

“我已经结婚18年多了，”史丹哈德写道，“在此期间，我从起床到准备好出门上班，我都难得对我妻子微笑，或说上一两句话。我是那些在大街上奔波的

down Binquredroadway.

“When you asked me to make a talk about my experience with smiles, I thought I would try it for a week. So the next morning, while combing my hair, I looked at my glum mug in the mirror and said to myself，‘Bill, you are going to wipe the scowl off that sour puss of yours today. You are going to smile. And you are going to begin right now.'As I sat down to breakfast, I greeted my wife with a‘Good morning, my dear，'and smiled as I said it.

“You warned me that she might be surprised. Well, you underestimated her reaction. She was bewildered. She was shocked. I told her that in the future she could expect this as a regular occurrence, and I kept it up every morning.

“This changed attitude of mine brought more happiness into our home in the two months since I started than there was during the last year.

“As I leave for my office, I greet the elevator operator in the apartment house with a‘Good morning’and a smile, I greet the doorman with a smile. I smile at the cashier in the subway booth when I ask for change. As I stand on the floor of the Stock Exchange, I smile at people who until recently never saw me smile.

“I soon found that everybody was smiling back at me. I treat those who come to me with complaints or grievances in a cheerful manner, I smile as I listen to them and I find that adjustments are accomplished much easier. I find that smiles are bringing me dollars, many dollars every day.

“I share my office with another broker. One of his clerks is a likable young chap, and I was so elated about the results I was getting that I told him recently about my new

人当中脾气最坏的一个。

“因为你建议我们讲对微笑的感受，于是我就想试一个星期。所以，第二天早上，当我梳头的时候，我就看着镜中那副阴沉的面孔，对自己说：‘比尔，你今天必须把你的愁容从脸上扫除。你要微笑。你现在就应该开始。’我坐下吃早餐的时候，对妻子说：‘亲爱的，早上好！’我说的时候，脸上带着微笑。

“你曾提醒过我，她可能会感到惊讶。可是，你低估了她的反应。她不仅迷惑不已，甚至惊呆了。我告诉她，她将来可以每天都看到这种愉快的事情。从此以后，我每天早上都这样。

“由于我改变了态度，使得我们家在这两个月中所得到的快乐，比过去一年的还多。

“当我去办公室的时候，我会对大楼开电梯的人说‘早上好！’并且对他微笑。我还和看门人微笑着打招呼。我在地铁售票处兑换零钱的时候，也会以微笑和服务员打招呼。当我站在交易所大厅的时候，还会对那些以前从未见我微笑的人微笑。

“不久，我就发现每个人都对我报以微笑。我微笑地接待那些发牢骚和抱怨的人。当我听他们抱怨的时候，我会保持微笑，于是问题的解决更容易了。我发现微笑给我带来了财富，我每天都会收获许多财富。

philosophy of human relations. He then confessed that when I first came to share my office with his firm he thought me a terrible grouch—and only recently changed his mind. He said I was really human when I smiled.

“I have also eliminated criticism from my system. I give appreciation and praise now instead of condemnation. I have stopped talking about what I want. I am now trying to see the other person's viewpoint. And these things have literally revolutionized my life. I am a totally different man, a happier man, a richer man, richer in friendships and happiness—the only things that matter much after all.”

You don't feel like smiling? Then what? Two things. First, force yourself to smile. If you are alone, force yourself to whistle or hum a tune or sing.Act as if you were already happy, and that will tend to make you happy.Here is the way the psychologist and philosopher William James put it:

“Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.

“Thus the sovereign voluntary path to cheerfulness, if our cheerfulness be lost, is to sit up cheerfully and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there... ”

Everybody in the world is seeking happiness—and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn't depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.

It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it. For example, two people may

“我同另一位经纪人共用一间办公室。他的一位秘书是一个可爱的小伙子。我很为我所取得的进展而高兴，所以将自己最近学到的人际关系新哲学告诉了他。他承认说，当我最初与他共用办公室的时候，他还以为我是个郁郁寡欢的人呢——直到最近他才改变这一看法。他说，当我微笑的时候非常亲切。

“现在我改掉了批评的习惯。我只是欣赏和称赞别人，而不指责。我也不再谈论自己的需要，我现在总是从别人的立场来分析问题。这些做法，真的改变了我的生活。我现在已经变成另一个人了，一个更快乐、更充实的人，而且富有友谊和快乐——而这些才是最重要的。”

你不愿意微笑吗？那该怎么办呢？有两个办法：第一，强迫自己微笑。第二，如果你一个人独处，不妨强迫自己吹吹口哨，或哼一支小曲，或唱唱歌，就好像你很快乐的样子，那就能使你快乐。心理学家、哲学家威廉·詹姆斯曾这样说：

“行动就好像是跟随感觉之后而产生的，但它与感觉其实是同时进行的，这就足以使直接接受意志控制的行动有规律，而且也间接地使不直接接受意志控制的情感有一定的规律。

“因此，如果我们不愉快的话，那么得到它的主动途径就是让自己的语言和行动都高兴起来，就好像你已经得到了快乐一样……”

be in the same place, doing the same thing; both may have about an equal amount of money and prestige—and yet one may be miserable and the other happy. Why? Because of a different mental attitude. I have seen just as many happy faces among the poor peasants toiling with their primitive tools in the devastating heat of the tropics as I have seen in air-conditioned offices in New York, Chicago or Los Angeles.

“There is nothing either good or bad,” said Shakespeare, “but thinking makes it so.”

Abe Lincoln once remarked that “most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” He was right. I saw a vivid illustration of that truth as I was walking up the stairs of the Long Island Railroad station in New York.Directly in front of me thirty or forty crippled boys on canes and crutches were struggling up the stairs. One boy had to be carried up. I was astonished at their laughter and gaiety. I spoke about it to one of the men in charge of the boys.“Oh, yes,” he said, “when a boy realizes that he is going to be a cripple for life, he is shocked at first; but after he gets over the shock, he usually resigns himself to his fate and then becomes as happy as normal boys.”

I felt like taking my hat off to those boys. They taught me a lesson I hope I shall never forget.

Working all by oneself in a closed-off room in an office not only is lonely, but it denies one the opportunity of making friends with other employees in the company. Senora Maria Gonzalez of Guadalajara, Mexico, had such a job. She envied the shared comradeship of other people in the company as she heard their chatter and laughter. As she passed them in the hall during the first weeks of her employment, she shyly looked the other way.

世界上的每一个人都在追求幸福——而获得幸福的一个可靠的方法，就是控制你的思想。幸福并不取决于外界的因素，而是取决于你内心的状态。

幸福并不取决于你拥有什么，你是谁，你在何处，或者你在做什么事。决定你是否幸福的关键，在于你怎么想。例如，两个人在同一地方做同一事情，两人都有同样的金钱与名声——可是一个人会痛苦，另一个人会快乐。这是为什么呢？因为他们的内心想法不同。我从那些在酷热之下流着汗做苦工的人那里看到了快乐的脸孔，就像我在纽约、芝加哥或洛杉矶的空调办公室所看到的一样。

“事无善恶，”莎士比亚说，“思想使然。”

林肯也曾说：“大多数人的快乐，和他们内心所想到的快乐相差无几。”他说得确实没错。我最近看到了这一真理的生动的例子。当时我正在爬纽约长岛火车站的台阶。在我前面有三四十个拄着拐杖的残疾儿童正用力登上台阶，有一个男孩还必须由人抱上去。但他们的欢笑和快乐使我吃惊极了。我对带领这些儿童的管理员说了我个人的感受。

“哦，是的，”他说，“当一个孩子知道自己将终生残疾时，他最初往往是惊慌失措，但在惊慌之后，常常会接受命运的安排，并和正常儿童一样快乐。”

我真觉得要向那些孩子致敬。他们给我上了一堂我永远都不会忘记的课。

一个人独自在一间封闭的办公室工作，不仅会感到寂寞，还会失去和公司

After a few weeks, she said to herself, “Maria, you can't expect those women to come to you. You have to go out and meet them.” The next time she walked to the water cooler, she put on her brightest smile and said “Hi, how are you today” to each of the people she met. The effect was mediate.Smiles and hellos were returned, the hallway seemed brighter, the job friendlier.Acquaintanceships developed and some ripened into friendships. Her job and her life became more pleasant and interesting.

Peruse this bit of sage advice from the essayist and publisher Elbert Hubbard—but remember, perusing it won't do you any good unless you apply it:

Whenever you go out-of-doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high, and fill the lungs to the utmost; drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile, and put soul into every handclasp. Do not fear being misunderstood and do not waste a minute thinking about your enemies.Try to fix firmly in your mind what you would like to do; and then, without veering off direction, you will move straight to the goal.Keep your mind on the great and splendid things you would like to do, and then, as the days go gliding away, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing upon the opportunities that are required for the fulfillment of your desire, just as the coral insect takes from the running tide the element it needs.Picture in your mind the able, earnest, useful person you desire to be, and the thought you hold is hourly transforming you into that particular individual... Thought is supreme. Preserve a right mental attitude—the attitude of courage, frankness, and good cheer. To think rightly is to create. All things come through desire and every sincere prayer is answered. We become like that on which our hearts are fixed. Carry your chin in and the crown of your head high. We are gods in the

其他人交朋友的机会。在墨西哥的瓜达拉加拉市，西罗拉·玛丽亚就是一个人一间办公室。当她听到其他同事的聊天和欢笑声时，她非常羡慕。上班的头一个星期，当她经过大家时，她害羞地掉过头去。

几个星期之后，她告诉自己：“玛丽亚，你不能指望别人先和你打招呼，你应该先向别人问好。”于是，当她下一次出去倒冷饮时，脸上总是呈现出最迷人的微笑，并和她遇到的每个人打招呼：“嗨，你好！”这样做立即有效了。别人都对她回应了笑容和欢呼，过道好像也明亮了许多，工作气氛友善多了。熟人越来越多，有的人甚至成了玛丽亚的好朋友。她的工作和生活变得更加愉快和有趣了。

让我们细读随笔作家、出版家阿尔伯特·哈伯德下面这段睿智的忠告吧——请记住，除非你把它付诸实践，否则光是阅读对你并无益处。

“每次出去的时候，都要收缩下巴，抬起头，挺起胸膛深呼吸，在阳光中沐浴，以微笑来招呼每一个人，每次握手时都应该使出力气。不要怕被误会，不要将时间浪费在想你的仇敌上。要在你心中明确你喜欢做什么，然后坚持不懈，勇往直前，集中精力大展宏图。日后，在时光流逝之中，你会发觉你于不知不觉中抓住了机会，实现了你的愿望，正如珊瑚虫由潮水中吸取所需要的营养一样。在脑海中想象你希望成为的那个有能力的、诚恳的、有作为的人，这种想象会每时

chrysalis.

The ancient Chinese were a wise lot—wise in the ways of the world; and they had a proverb that you and I ought to cut out and paste inside our hats. It goes like this:“A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.”

Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds. Especially when that someone is under pressure from his bosses, his customers, his teachers or parents or children, a smile can help him realize that all is not hopeless—that there is joy in the world.

Some years ago, a department store in New York City, in recognition of the pressures its sales clerks were under during the Christmas rush, presented the readers of its advertisements with the following homely philosophy:

The VaIue of a SmiIe at Christmas

It costs nothing, but creates much.

It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give.

It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever，

None are so rich they can get along without it, and none so poor but are richer for its benefits.

It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign of friends.

It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and Nature's

每刻改造你，成为你所希望的那种人……思想是至高无上的。必须保持正确的人生观——一种勇敢、诚实、愉悦的态度。正确的思想本身就是创造。一切都来源于希望，每一次真诚的祈祷都会有所应验。我们内心希望成为什么，我们就会变成什么。请收缩你的下巴，抬高你的头，我们就会破蛹而出。”

中国的古人真是非常睿智——通达世事，他们有一句格言，你我都应该剪下来贴在帽子里。这格言就是“和气生财”。

你的微笑是善意的信使。你的微笑会照亮所有看见它的人的人生。对那些见多了冷漠面孔的人来说，你的微笑就像穿透云层的阳光。尤其当人处于重重压力之下时，一个微笑可以让他看到并非一切毫无希望——世界还有欢快！

许多年前，纽约一家百货商店在圣诞购物狂潮中，它的员工压力很大，就为读者张贴了下面这份实用的哲学：

圣诞节的微笑

它无所耗费，但收获却很多。

它让得到者获益，而施舍者却丝毫无损。

它出现在眨眼之间，但却给人永恒的记忆。

没有人会富得不需要它，也没有人穷到不能因它而致富。

它给家庭带来快乐，在生意场上使人产生好感，又是朋友间的亲热问候。

best antidote for trouble.

Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody till it is given away.

And if in the last-minute rush of Christmas buying some of our salespeople should be too tired to give you a smile, may we ask you to leave one of yours?

For nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give!

Principle 2：Smile.

它是疲倦者的港湾，沮丧者的曙光，悲伤者的太阳，又是大自然的良药。

它买不到，求不来，借不到，偷不着，因为你将它送人之前，它对谁都没用。

而假如在圣诞节最后一分钟的忙碌采购中，我们的售货员也许太疲倦而不能给你微笑时，我们能请你留下你的微笑吗？

因为，那些没有微笑的人更需要微笑。

第二项规则：微笑。