第一卷 闺房记乐

事如春梦了无痕。

Life is like a spring dream which vanishes without a trace.

I was born in 1763, under the reign of Ch'ienlung, on the twentysecond day of the eleventh moon. The country was then in the heyday of peace and, moreover, I was born in a scholars' family, living by the side of the Ts'anglang Pavilion in Soochow. So altogether I may say the gods have been unusually kind to me. Su Tungp'o said, “Life is like a spring dream which vanishes without a trace. ” I should be ungrateful to the gods if I did not try to put my life down on record.

Since the Book of Poems begins with a poem on wedded love, I thought I would begin this book by speaking of my marital relations and then let other matters follow. My only regret is that I was not properly educated in childhood; all I know is a simple language and I shall try only to record the real facts and real sentiments. I hope the reader will be kind enough not to scrutinize my grammar, which would be like looking for brilliance in a tarnished mirror.

I was engaged in my childhood to one Miss Yü, of Chinsha, who died in her eighth year, and eventually I married a girl of the Ch'en clan. Her name was Yün and her literary name Suchen. She was my cousin,being the daughter of my maternal uncle, Hsinyü. Even in her childhood,she was a very clever girl, for while she was learning to speak, she was taught Po Chüyi's poem, The P'iP'a Player, and could at once repeat it. Her father died when she was four years old, and in the family there were only her mother (of the Chin clan) and her younger brother K'ehch'ang and herself,，being then practically destitute. When Yün grew up and had learnt needlework, she was providing for the family of three, and contrived always to pay K'ehch'ang's tuition fees punctually. One day,she picked up a copy of the poem The P'iP'a Player from a wastebasket, and from that, with the help of her memory of the lines, she learnt to read word by word. Between her needlework, she gradually learnt to write poetry. One of her poems contained the two lines:

“秋侵人影瘦，霜染菊花肥。”

“Touched by autumn, one's figure grows slender ,

Soaked in frost, the chrysanthemum blooms full. ”

When I was thirteen years old, I went with my mother to her maiden home and there we met. As we were two young innocent children, she allowed me to read her poems. I was quite struck by her talent, but feared that she was too clever to be happy. Still I could not help thinking of her all the time, and once I told my mother, “If you were to choose a girl for me, I won't marry any one except Cousin Su.”My mother also liked her being so gentle, and gave her her gold ring as a token for the betrothal.

This was on the sixteenth of the seventh moon in the year 1775.In the winter of that year, one of my girl cousins, (the daughter of another maternal uncle of mine,) was going to get married and I again accompanied my mother to her maiden home.

Yün was the same age as myself, but ten months older, and as we had been accustomed to calling each other“elder sister”and“younger brother”from childhood, I continued to call her“Sister Su.”

At this time the guests in the house all wore bright dresses, but Yün alone was clad in a dress of quiet colour, and had on a new pair of shoes. I noticed that the embroidery on her shoes was very fine, and learnt that it was her own work, so that I began to realize that she was gifted at other things, too, besides reading and writing.

Of a slender figure, she had drooping shoulders and a rather long neck,slim but not to the point of being skinny. Her eyebrows were arched and in her eyes there was a look of quick intelligence and soft refinement. The only defect was that her two front teeth were slightly inclined forward, which was not a mark of good omen. There was an air of tenderness about her which completely fascinated me.

I asked for the manuscripts of her poems and found that they consisted mainly of couplets and three or four lines, being unfinished poems, and I asked her the reason why. She smiled and said,“I have had no one to teach me poetry, and wish to have a good teacher-friend who could help me to finish these poems.”I wrote playfully on the label of this book of poems the words: “Beautiful Lines in an Embroidered Case,”and did not realize that in this case lay the cause of her short life.

That night, when I came back from outside the city, whither I had accompanied my girl cousin the bride, it was already midnight, and I felt very hungry and asked for something to eat. A maid-servant gave me some dried dates, which were too sweet for me. Yün secretly pulled me by the sleeve into her room, and I saw that she had hidden="hidden" away a bowl of warm congee and some dishes to go with it. I was beginning to take up the chopsticks and eat it with great gusto when Yün's boy cousin Yüheng called out,“Sister Su, come quick!，”Yün quickly shut the door and said,“I am very tired and going to bed.” Yüheng forced the door open and, seeing the situation, he said with a malicious smile at Yün,，“So, that's it! A while ago I asked for congee and you said there was no more, but you really meant to keep it for your future husband.”Yün was greatly embarrassed and everybody laughed at her, including the servants.On my part, I rushed away home with an old servant in a state of excitement.

Since the affair of the congree happened, she always avoided me when I went to her home, and I knew that she was only trying to avoid being made a subject of ridicule.

Touched by autumn one's figur grows slender , Soaked in frost, the chrysanthemum blooms full.

Our wedding took place on the twenty-second of the first moon in 1780. When she came to my home on that night, I found that she had the same slender figure as before. When her bridal veil was lifted, we looked at each other and smiled. After the drinking of the customary twin cups between bride and groom, we sat down together at dinner and I secretly held her hand under the table, which was warm and small, and my heart was palpitating. I asked her to eat and learnt that she was in her vegetarian fast, which she had been keeping for several years already. I found that the time when she began her fast coincided with my small-pox illness, and said to her laughingly,“Now that my face is clean and smooth without pock-marks, my dear sister, will you break your fast?” Yün looked at me with a smile and nodded her head.

As my own sister is going to get married on the twenty-fourth, only two days later, and as there was to be a national mourning and no music was to be allowed on the twenty-third, my sister was given a send-off dinner on the night of the twenty-second, my wedding day, and Yün was present at table. I was playing the finger-guessing game with the bride's companion in the bridal chamber and, being a loser all the time,I fell asleep drunk like a fish. When I woke up the next morning, Yün had not quite finished her morning toilet.

That day, we were kept busy entertaining guests and towards evening, music was played. After midnight, on the morning of the twenty-fourth, I, as the bride's brother, sent my sister away and came back towards three o'clock. The room was then pervaded with quietness,bathed in the silent glow of the candle-lights. I went in and saw Yün's bride's companion was taking a nap down in front of our bed on the floor, while Yün had taken off her bridal costume, but had not yet gone to bed. She was bending her beautiful white neck before the bright candles, quite absorbed reading a book. I patted her on the shoulder and said,“Sister, why are you still working so hard? You must be quite tired with the full days we've had.”

Quickly Yün turned her head and stood up saying,“I was going to bed when I opened the book-case and saw this book and have not been able to leave it since. Now my sleepiness is all gone. I have heard of the name of Western Chamber for a long time, but today I see it for the first time. It is really the work of a genius, only I feel that its style is a little bit too biting.”

“Only geniuses can write a biting style,”I smiled and said.

The bride's companion asked us to go to bed, but we told her to shut the door and retire first. I began to sit down by Yün's side and we joked together like old friends after a long period of separation. I touched her breast in fun and felt that her heart was palpitating too.“Why is Sister's heart palpitating like that?”I bent down and whispered in her ear. Yün looked back at me with a smile and our souls were carried away in a mist of passion. Then we went to bed, when all too soon the dawn came.

As a bride, Yün was very quiet at first. She was never sullen or displeased,and when people spoke to her,she merely smiled. She was respectful towards her superiors and kindly towards those under her. Whatever she did was done well, and it was difficult to find fault with her. When she saw the grey dawn shining in through the window,she would get up and dress herself as if she had been commanded to do so.“Why?” I asked,“You don't have to be afraid of gossip，like the days when you gave me that warm congee.”“ I was made a laughing-stock on account of that bowl of congee,”she replied,“but now I am not afraid of people's talk; I only fear that our parents might think their daughter-inlaw lazy.”

Although I wanted her to lie in bed longer, I could not help admiring her virtue, and so got up myself, too, at the same time with her.And so every day we rubbed shoulders together and clung to each other like an object and its shadow, and the love between us was something that surpassed the language of words.

So the time passed happily and the honeymoon was too soon over. At this time, my father Chiafu was in the service of the Kueich'i district government, and he sent a special messenger to bring me there, for, it should be noted that, during this time, I was under the tutorship of Chao Shengtsai of Wulin [Hangchow]. Chao was a very kindly teacher and today the fact that I can write at all is due entirely to his credit.

Now, when I came home for the wedding, it had been agreed that as soon as the ceremonies were over, I should go back at once to my father's place in order to resume my studies. So when I got this news, I did not know what to do. I was afraid Yün might break into tears, but on the other hand she tried to look cheerful and comforted me and urged me to go, and packed up things for me. Only that night I noticed that she did not look quite her usual self. At the time of parting, she whispered to me,“Take good care of yourself, for there will be no one to look after you.”

When I went up on board the boat, I saw the peach and pear trees on the banks were in full bloom, but I felt like a lonely bird that had lost its companions and as if the world was going to collapse around me. As soon as I arrived, my father left the place and crossed the river for an eastward destination.

Thus three months passed, which seemed to me like ten insufferable long years. Although Yün wrote to me regularly, still for two letters that I sent her, I received only one in reply, and these letters contained only words of exhortation and the rest was filled with airy,conventional nothings, and I felt very unhappy. Whenever the breeze blew past my bamboo courtyard, or the moon shone upon my window behind the green banana leaves, I thought of her and was carried away into a region of dreams.

My teacher noticed this, and sent word to my father, saying that he would give me ten subjects for composition and let me go home. I felt like a garrison prisoner receiving his pardon.

Strange to say, when I got on to the boat and was on my way home, I felt that a quarter of an hour was like a long year. When I arrived home, I went to pay my respects to my mother and then entered my room. Yün stood up to welcome me, and we held each other's hands in silence, and it seemed then that our souls had melted away or evaporated like a mist. My ears tingled and I did not know where I was.

It was in the sixth moon, then, and the rooms were very hot. Luckily, we were next door to the Lotus Lover's Lodge of the Ts'anglang Pavilion on the east. Over the bridge, there was an open hall overlooking the water, called “After My Heart”—the reference was to an old poem：“When the water is clear,I will wash the tassels of my hat, and when the water is muddy, I will wash my feet.”By the side of the eaves, there was an old tree which spread its green shade over the window，and made the people's faces look green with it; and across the creek, you could see people passing to and fro. This was where my father used to entertain his guests inside the bamboo-framed curtains. I asked for permission from my mother to bring Yün and stay there for the summer. She stopped embroidery during the summer months because of the heat,and the whole day long, we were either reading together or discussing the ancient things, or else enjoying the moon and passing judgments on the flowers. Yün could not drink, but could take at most three cups when compelled to. I taught her literary games in which the loser had to drink. We thought there could not be a more happy life on earth than this.

One day Yün asked me,“Of all the ancient authors, which one should we regard as the master?” And I replied:“Chankuots'eh and Chuangtzǔ are noted for their agility of thought and expressiveness of style, K'uang Heng and Liu Hsiang are known for their classic severity, Ssuma Ch'ien and Pan Ku are known for their breadth of knowledge,Han Yü is known for his mellow qualities, Liu Tsungyüan for his rugged beauty, Ouyang Hsiu for his romantic abandon, and the Su's, father and sons, are known for their sustained eloquence. There are, besides,writings like the political essays of Chia Yi and Tung Chungshu, the euphuistic prose of Yü Hsin and Hsü Ling, the memorandums of Loh Chih, and others more than one can enumerate. True appreciation,however, must come from the reader himself.”

“The ancient literature,” Yün said,“depends for its appeal on depth of thought and greatness of spirit, which I am afraid it is difficult for a woman to attain. I believe, however, that I do understand something of poetry. ”

“Poetry was used,”I said,“as a literary test in the imperial examinations of the T'ang Dynasty, and people acknowledge Li Po and Tu Fu as the master poets. Which of the two do you like better?”

“Tu's poems,”she said，“are known for their workmanship and artistic refinement, while Li's poems are known for their freedom and naturalness of expression. I prefer the vivacity of Li Po to the severity of Tu Fu. ”

“Tu Fu is the acknowledged king of poets，”said I，“and he is taken by most people as their model. Why do you prefer Li Po?”

“Of course,” said she, was for perfection of form and maturity of thought, Tu is the undisputed master, but Li Po's poems have the wayward charm of a nymph. His lines come naturally like dropping petals and flowing waters, and are so much lovelier for their spontaneity. I am not saying that Tu is second to Li; only personally I feel, not that I love Tu less, but that I love Li more.”

“I say，I didn't know that you are a bosom friend of Li Po!”

“I have still in my heart another poet，Po Chüyi，who is my first tutor，as it were，and I have not been able to forget him.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Isn't he the one who wrote the poem on The P'i P'a Player?”

“This is very strange,” I laughed and said. “So Li Po is your bosom friend, Po Chüyi is your first tutor and your husband's literary name is San po. It seems that your life is always bound up with the Po's.”

“It is all right, ” Yün smiled and replied. “to have one's life bound up with the Po's, only I am afraid I shall be writing Po characters all my life.” (For in Soochow we call misspelt words“po characters”.) And we both laughed.

“Now that you know poetry.” I said，“I should like also to know your taste for fu poems.”

“The Ch'u Tz'u is, of course, the fountain head of fu poetry, but I find it difficult to understand. It seems to me that among the Han and Chin fu poets, Ssuma Hsiangju is the most sublime in point of style and diction.”

“Perhaps,”I said，“Wenchün was tempted to elope with Hsiangju not because of his ch'in music, but rather because of his fu poetry,”and we laughed again.

I am by nature unconventional and straightforward, but Yün was a stickler for forms, like the Confucian schoolmasters. Whenever I put on a dress for her or tidied up her sleeves, she would say “So much obliged” again and again, and when I passed her a towel or a fan, she would always stand up to receive it. At first I disliked this and said to her, “Do you mean to tie me down with all this ceremony? There is a proverb which says,‘One who is overcourteous is crafty.’” Yün blushed all over and said, “I am merely trying to be polite and respectful, why do you charge me with craftiness?” “True respect is in the heart, and does not require such empty forms,” said I, but Yün said, “There is no more intimate relationship than that between children and their parents. Do you mean to say that children should behave freely towards their parents and keep their respect only in their heart?” “Oh! I was only joking,” I said. “The trouble is,” said Yün, “most marital troubles begin with joking. Don't you accuse me of disrespect later, for then I shall die of grief without being able to defend myself.”Then I held her close to my breast and caressed her until she smiled. From then on our conversations were full of “I'm sorry's” and “I beg your pardon's.” And so we remained courteous to each other for twenty-three years of our married life like Liang Hung and Meng Kuang [of the Eastern Han Dynasty], and the longer we stayed together, the more passionately attached we became to each other.

Whenever we met each other in the house,，whether it be in a dark room or in a narrow corridor, we used to hold each other's hands and ask,，“Where are you going?” and we did this on the sly as if afraid that people might see us. As a matter of fact, we tried at first to avoid being seen sitting or walking together, but after a while, we did not mind it any more. When Yün was sitting and talking with somebody and saw me come, she would rise and move sideways for me to sit down together with her. All this was done naturally almost without any consciousness,and although at first we felt uneasy about it, later on it became a matter of habit. I cannot understand why all old couples must hate each other like enemies. Some people say, “If they weren't enemies, they would not be able to live together until old age.”Well,，I wonder!

On the seventh night of the seventh moon of that year, Yün prepared incense, candles and some melons and other fruits, so that we might together worship the Grandson of Heaven in the Hall called “After My Heart.” I had carved two seals with the inscription“That we might remain husband and wife from incarnation to incarnation.”I kept the seal with positive characters, while she kept the one with negative characters,to be used in our correspondence.

That night, the moon was shining beautifully and when I looked down at the creek, the ripples shone like silvery chains. We were wearing light silk dresses and sitting together with a small fan in our hands, before the window overlooking the creek. Looking up at the sky, we saw the clouds sailing through the heavens, changing at every moment into a myriad forms, and Yün said,“This moon is common to the whole universe. I wonder if there is another pair of lovers quite as passionate as ourselves looking at the same moon tonight?” And I said,“Oh! there are plenty of people who will be sitting in the cool evening and looking at the moon, and perhaps also many women enjoying and appreciating the clouds in their chambers; but when a husband and wife are looking at the moon together, I hardly think that the clouds will form the subject of their conversation.”By and by, the candle-lights went out, the moon sank in the sky, and we removed the fruits and went to bed.

The fifteenth of the seventh moon was All Souls'Day. Yün prepared a little dinner, so that we could drink together with the moon as our company, but when night came, the sky was suddenly overcast with dark clouds. Yün knitted her brow and said, “If it be the wish of God that we two should live together until there are silver threads in our hair, then the moon must come out again tonight.” On my part I felt disheartened also. As we looked across the creek, we saw will-o'-thewisps flitting in crowds hither and thither like ten thousand candle-lights,threading their way through the willows and smartweeds.

And then we began to compose a poem together, each saying two lines at a time, the first completing the couplet which the other had begun, and the second beginning another couplet for the other to finish,and after a few rhymes, the longer we kept on, the more nonsensical it became, until it was a jumble of slapdash doggerel. By this time, Yün was buried amidst tears and laughter and choking on my breast, while I felt the fragrance of the jasmine in her hair assail my nostrils. I patted her on the shoulder and said jokingly,“I thought that the jasmine was used for decoration in women's hair because it was clear and round like a pearl; I did not know that it is because its fragrance is so much finer when it is mixed with the smell of women's hair and powder. When it smells like that, even the citron cannot remotely compare with it.”Then Yün stopped laughing and said,“The citron is the gentleman among the different fragrant plants because its fragrance is so slight that you can hardly detect it; on the other hand, the jasmine is a common fellow because it borrows its fragrance partly from others. Therefore,the fragrance of the jasmine is like that of a smiling sycophant.”“Why，then，”I said,“do you keep away from the gentleman and associate with the common fellow?”And Yün replied，“But I only laugh at that gentleman who loves a common fellow.”

While we were thus bandying words about, it was already midnight, and we saw the wind had blown away the clouds in the sky and there appeared the full moon，round like a chariot wheel，and we were greatly delighted. And so we began to drink by the side of the window, but before we had tasted three cups, we heard suddenly the noise of a splash under the bridge, as if someone had fallen into the water. We looked out through the window and saw there was not a thing, for the water was as smooth as a mirror, except that we heard the noise of a duck scampering in the marshes. I knew that there was a ghost of someone who had been drowned by the side of the Ts'anglang Pavilion, but knowing that Yün was very timid, I dared not mention it to her. And Yün sighed and said, “Alas! Whence cometh this noise?” and we shuddered all over. Quickly we shut the window and carried the wine pot back into the room. The light of a rapeseed oil lamp was then burning as small as a pea, and the edges of the bed curtain hung low in the twilight, and we were shaking all over. We then made the lamplight a little brighter and went inside the bed curtain, and Yün already ran up a high fever. Soon I had a high temperature myself, and our illness dragged on for about twenty days. True it is that when the cup of happiness overflows, disaster follows, as the saying goes, and this was also an omen that we should not be able to live together until old age.

On the fifteenth of the eighth moon, or the Mid-Autumn Festival. I had just recovered from my illness. Yün had now been a bride in my home for over half a year, but still had never been to the Ts'anglang Pavilion itself next door. So I first ordered an old servant to tell the watchman not to let any visitors enter the place. Toward evening, I went with Yün and my younger sister, supported by an amah and a maidservant and led by an old attendant. We passed a bridge, entered a gate, turned eastwards and followed a zigzag path into the place, where we saw huge grottoes and abundant green trees. The Pavilion stood on the top of a hill. Going up by the steps to the top, one could look around for miles, where in the distance chimney smoke arose from the cottages against the background of clouds of rainbow hues. Over the bank, there was a grove called the “Forest by the Hill” where the high officials used to entertain their guests. Later on, the Chengyi College was erected on this spot, but it wasn't there yet. We brought a blanket which we spread on the Pavilion floor, and then sat round together,while the watchman served us tea. After a while, the moon had already arisen from behind the forest, and the breeze was playing about our sleeves, while the moon's image sparkled in the rippling water, and all worldly cares were banished from our breasts.“This is the end of a perfect day,”said Yün.“Wouldn't it be fine if we could get a boat and row around the Pavilion!” At this time，the lights were already shining from people's homes，and thinking of the incident on the fifteenth night of the seventh moon, we left the Pavilion and hurried home. According to the custom at Soochow, the women of all families, rich or poor, came out in groups on the Mid-Autumn night, a custom which was called“pacing the moonlight.”Strange to say, no one came to such a beautiful neighbourhood as the Ts'anglang Pavilion.

My father Chiafu was very fond of adopting children; hence I had twenty-six adopted brothers. My mother, too, had nine adopted daughters, among whom Miss Wang, the second, and Miss Yü, the sixth,were Yün's best friends. Wang was a kind of a tomboy and a great drinker, while Yü was straightforward and very fond of talking. When they came together，they used to chase me out, so that the three of them could sleep in the same bed. I knew Miss Yü was responsible for this, and once I said to her in fun,“When you get married, I am going to invite your husband to come and keep him for ten days at a stretch.”I'll come here，too, then，” said Miss Yü， “and sleep in the same bed with Yün. Won't that be fun?” At this Yün and Wang merely smiled.

At this time, my younger brother Ch'it'ang was going to get married, and we moved to Ts'angmi Alley by the Bridge of Drinking Horses. The house was quite big, but not so nice and secluded as the one by the Ts'anglang Pavilion. On the birthday of my mother, we had theatrical performances at home, and Yün at first thought them quite wonderful. Scorning all taboos, my father asked for the performance of a scene called “Sad Parting,”and the actors played so realistically that the audience were quite touched. I noticed across the screen that Yün suddenly got up and disappeared inside for a long time. I went in to see her and the Misses Yü and Wang also followed suit. There I saw Yün sitting alone before her dressing table, resting her head on an arm.“Why are you so sad?”I asked. “One sees a play for diversion,” Yün said, “but today's play only breaks my heart.” Both Wang and Yü were laughing at her, but I defended her. “She is touched because hers is a profoundly emotional soul.”“Are you going to sit here all day long?” asked Miss Yü.“I'll stay here until some better selection is being played，” Yün replied. Hearing this, Miss Wang left first and asked my mother to select more cheerful plays like Ch'ihliang and Househ . Then Yün was persuaded to come out and watch the play, which made her happy again.

My uncle Such'ün died early without an heir, and my father made me succeed his line. His tomb was situated on the Hill of Good Fortune and Longevity in Hsikuat'ang by the side of our ancestral tombs, and I was accustomed to go there with Yün and visit the grave every spring. As there was a beautiful garden called Koyüan in its neighbourhood, Miss Wang begged to come with us. Yün saw that the pebbles on this hill had beautiful grains of different colours, and said to me,“If we were to collect these pebbles and make them into a grotto, it would be even more artistic than one made of Hsüanchow stones.”I expressed the fear that there might not be enough of this kind.“If Yün really likes them，I'll pick them for her，” said Miss Wang. So she borrowed a bag from the watchman, and went along with a stork's strides collecting them. Whenever she picked up one, she would ask for my opinion. If I said“good,” she would put it into the bag; and if I said “no,” she would throw it away. She stood up before long and came back to us with the bag, perspiring all over.“My strength will fail me if I am going to pick any more，” she said. “I have been told,” said Yün, as she was selecting the good ones in the bag, “that mountain fruits must be gathered with the help of monkeys, which seems quite true.” Miss Wang was furious and stretched both her hands as if to tease her. I stopped her and said to Yün by way of reproof,“You cannot blame her for being angry,because she is doing all the work and you stand by and say such unkind things.”

Then on our way back, we visited the Koyüan Garden, in which we saw a profusion of flowers of all colours. Wang was very childish;she would now and then pick a flower for no reason, and Yün scolded her, saying,“What do you pick so many flowers for, since you are not going to put them in a vase or in your hair?” “Oh! what's the harm?These flowers don't feel anything.”“All right，” I said，“you will be punished for this one day by marrying a pock-marked bearded fellow for your husband to avenge the flowers.”Wang looked at me in anger,threw the flowers to the ground and kicked them into the pond.“Why do you all bully me?”she said. However，Yün made it up with her, and she was finally pacified.

Yün was at first very quiet and loved to hear me talk, but I gradually taught her the art of conversation as one leads a cricket with a blade of grass. She then gradually learnt the art of conversation. For instance, at meals, she always mixed her rice with tea, and loved to eat stale pickled bean-curd, called “stinking bean-curd”in Soochow. Another thing she liked to eat was a kind of small pickled cucumber. I hated both of these things, and said to her in fun one day,“The dog, which has no stomach, eats human refuse because it doesn't know that refuse stinks，while the beetle rolls in dunghills and is changed into a cicada because it wants to fly up to heaven. Now are you a dog or a beetle?” To this Yün replied,“One eats beancurd because it is so cheap and it goes with dry rice as well as with congee. I am used to this from childhood. Now I am married into your home, like a beetle that has been transformed into a cicada, but I am still eating it because one should not forget old friends. As for pickled cucumber, I tasted it for the first time in your home.”

“Oh, then, my home is a dog's kennel, isn't it?” Yün was embarrassed and tried to explain it away by saying,“Of course there is refuse in every home; the only difference is whether one eats it or not. You yourself eat garlic, for instance, and I have tried to eat it with you. I won't compel you to eat stinking bean-curd, but cucumber is really very nice, if you hold your breath while eating. You will see when you have tasted it yourself. It is like Wuyien, an ugly but virtuous woman of old.”“Are you going to make me a dog?” I asked. “Well, I have been a dog for a long time, why don't you try to be one?”So she picked a piece of cucumber with her chopsticks and stuck it into my mouth. I held my breath and ate it and found it indeed delicious. Then I ate it in the usual way and found it to have a marvellous flavour. And from that time on,I loved the cucumber also. Yün also prepared pickled bean-curd mixed with sesame seed oil and sugar, which I found also to be a delicacy. We then mixed pickled cucumber with pickled bean-curd and called the mixture “the double-flavoured gravy.”I said I could not understand why I disliked it at first and began to love it so now. “If you are in love with a thing, you will forget its ugliness,” said Yün.

My younger brother Ch'it'ang married the grand-daughter of Wang Hsüchou. It happened that on the wedding day, she wanted some pearls. Yün took her own pearls，which she had received as her bridal gift, and gave them to my mother. The maid-servant thought it a pity, but Yün said，“A woman is an incarnation of the female principle, and so are pearls. For a woman to wear pearls would be to leave no room for the male principle. For that reason I don't prize them.”She had, however, a peculiar fondness for old books and broken slips of painting. Whenever she saw odd volumes of books，she would try to sort them out, arrange them in order, and have them rebound properly. These were collected and labelled “Ancient Relics.”When she saw scrolls of calligraphy or painting that were partly spoilt, she would find some old paper and paste them up nicely，and ask me to fill up the broken spaces. These were kept rolled up properly and called “Beautiful Gleanings.” This was what she was busy about the whole day when she was not attending to the kitchen or needlework. When she found in old trunks or piles of musty volumes any writing or painting that pleased her, she felt as if she had discovered some precious relic, and an old woman neighbour of ours，by the name of Feng, used to buy up old scraps and sell them to her. She had the same tastes and habits as myself, and besides had the talent of reading my wishes by a mere glance or movement of the eyebrow, doing things without being told and doing them to my perfect satisfaction.

Once I said to her,“It is a pity that you were born a woman. If you were a man, we could travel together and visit all the great mountains and the famous places throughout the country.”

“Oh! this is not so very difficult，” said Yün. “Wait till I have got my grey hairs. Even if I cannot accompany you to the Five Sacred Mountains then, we can travel to the nearer places, like Huch'iu and Lingyen, as far south as the West Lake and as far north as P'ingshan [in Yangchow].”

“Of course this is all right, except that I am afraid when you are grey-haired, you will be too old to travel.”

“If I can't do it in this life，then I shall do it in the next.”

“In the next life，you must be born a man and I will be your wife.”

“It will be quite beautiful if we can then still remember what has happened in this life.”

“That's all very well，but even a bowl of congee has provided material for so much conversation. We shan't be able to sleep a wink the whole wedding night, but shall be discussing what we have done in the previous existence，if we can still remember what's happened in this life then.”

“It is said that the Old Man under the Moon is in charge of matrimony，” said Yün.“He was good enough to make us husband and wife in this life, and we shall still depend on his favour in the affair of marriage in the next incarnation. Why don't we make a painting of him and worship him in our home?”

So we asked a Mr. Ch'i Liut'i of T'iaoch'i who specialized in portraiture，to make a painting of the Old Man under the Moon, which he did. It was a picture of the Old Man holding, in one hand, a red silk thread [for the purpose of binding together the hearts of all couples] and,in the other, a walking-stick with the Book of Matrimony suspended from it. He had white hair and a ruddy complexion, apparently bustling about in a cloudy region. Altogether it was a very excellent painting of Ch'i's. My friend Shih Chot'ang Wrote some words of praise on it and we hung the picture in our chamber. On the first and fifteenth of every month, we burnt incense and prayed together before him. I do not know where this picture is now, as we have lost it after all the changes and upsets in our family life. “Ended is the present life and uncertain the next,”as the poet says. I wonder if God will listen to the prayer of us two silly lovers.

After we had moved to Ts'angmi Alley, I called our bedroom the“Tower of My Guest's Fragrance,” with a reference to Yün's name, and to the story of Liang Hung and Meng Kuang who, as husband and wife,were always courteous to each other “like guests.” We rather disliked the house because the walls were too high and the courtyard was too small. At the back, there was another house, leading to the library. Looking out of the window at the back, one could see the old garden of Mr. Loh then in a dilapidated condition, Yün's thoughts still hovered about the beautiful scenery of the T'sanglang Pavilion.

At this time, there was an old peasant woman living on the east of Mother Gold's Bridge and the north of Kenghsiang. Her little cottage was surrounded on all sides by vegetable fields and had a wicker gate. Outside the gate, there was a pond about thirty yards across, and a wilderness of flowers and trees covered the sides of the hedgerow. This was the old site of the home of Chang Ssǔch'eng at the end of the Yüan Dynasty. A few paces to the west of the cottage, there was a mound filled with broken bricks, from the top of which one could command a view of the surrounding territory, which was an open country with a stretch of wild vegetation.

Once the old woman happened to mention the place, and Yün kept on thinking about it. So she said to me one day,“Since leaving the Ts'anglang Pavilion, I have been dreaming about it all the time. As we cannot live there, we must put up with the second best. I have a great idea to go and live in the old woman's cottage.”“I have been thinking，too,” I said, “of a place to go to and spend the long summer days. If you think you'll like the place, I'll go ahead and take a look. If it is satisfactory, we can carry our beddings along and go and stay there for a month. How about it?”“I'm afraid mother won't allow us.”“Oh! I'll see to that，”I told her. So the next day, I went there and found that the cottage consisted only of two rooms, which were partitioned into four. With paper windows and bamboo beds, the house would be quite a delightfully cool place to stay in. The old woman knew what I wanted and gladly rented me her bedroom, which then looked quite new, when I had repapered the walls. I then informed my mother of it and went to stay there with Yün.

Our only neighbours were an old couple who raised vegetables for the market. They knew that we were going to stay there for the summer,and came and called on us, bringing us some fish from the pond and vegetables from their own fields. We offered to pay for them, but they wouldn't take any money, and afterwards Yün made a pair of shoes for each of them, which they were finally persuaded to accept.

This was in the seventh moon when the trees cast a green shade over the place. The summer breeze blew over the water of the pond,and cicadas filled the air with their singing the whole day. Our old neighbour also made a fishing rod for us, and we used to angle together under the shade of the willow trees. Late in the afternoons, we would go up on the mound to have a look at the evening glow and compose lines of poetry, when we felt so inclined. Two of the best lines were：

“Beast-clouds swallow the sinking sun ,

And the bow-moon shoots the falling stars.”

After a while, the moon cut her image in the water, insects began to chirp all round, and we placed a bamboo bed near the hedgerow to sit or lie upon. The old woman then would inform us that wine had been warmed up and dinner prepared, and we would sit down to have a little drink under the moon before our meal. Then after bath, we would put on our slippers and carry a fan, and lie or sit there, listening to old tales of retribution told by our neighbour. When we came in to sleep about midnight, we felt nice and cool all over the body, almost forgetting that we were living in a city.

There along the hedgerow, we asked the gardener to plant chrysanthemums. The flowers bloomed in the ninth moon, and we continued to stay there for another ten days. My mother was also quite delighted and came to see us there. So we ate crabs in the midst of chrysanthemums and whiled away the whole day.

Yün was quite enchanted with all this and said,“Some day we must build a cottage here. We'll buy ten mow of ground around the cottage,and see to our servants planting in the fields vegetables and melons to be sold for the expenses of our daily meals. You will paint and I will do embroidery, from which we could make enough money to buy wine for entertaining our friends who will gather here together to compose poems. Thus, clad in simple gowns and eating simple meals, we could live a very happy life together without going anywhere.”I fully agreed with her. Now the place is still there, while my bosom friend is dead. Alas! such is life!

About half a li from my home, there was a temple to the God of the Tungt'ing Lake, popularly known as the Narcissus Temple, situated in the Ch'uk'u Alley. It had many winding corridors and something of a garden with pavilions. On the birthday of the God, every clan would be assigned a corner in the Temple, where they would hang beautiful glass lanterns of a kind, with a chair in the center ,on the either side of which were placed vases on wooden stands. These vases were decorated with flowers for competition. In the daytime, there would be theatrical performances, while at night the flower-vases were brilliantly illuminated with candlelights in their midst, a custom which was called “Illuminated Flowers.” With the flowers and the lanterns and the smell of incense, the whole show resembled a night feast in the Palace of the Dragon King. The people there would sing or play music, or gossip over their teacups. The audience stood around in crowds to look at the show and there was a railing at the curb to keep them within a certain limit.

I was asked by my friends to help in the decorations and so had the pleasure of taking part in it. When Yün heard me speaking about it at home, she remarked,“ It is a pity that I am not a man and cannot go to see it.”“Why, you could put on my cap and gown and disguise yourself as a man,” I suggested. Accordingly she changed her coiffure into a queue, painted her eyebrows, and put on my cap. Although her hair showed slightly round the temples, it passed off tolerably well. As my gown was found to be an inch and a half too long, she tucked it round the waist and put on a makua on top. “What am I going to do about my feet?” she asked. I told her there was a kind of shoes called“butterfly shoes,” which could fit any size of feet and were very easy to obtain at the shops, and suggested buying a pair for her, which she could also use as slippers later on at home. Yün was delighted with the idea, and after supper, when she had finished her make-up, she paced about the room, imitating the gestures and gait of a man for a long time,when all of a sudden she changed her mind and said,“I am not going! It would be so embarrassing if somebody should discover it, and besides,our parents would object.”Still I urged her to go. “Who doesn't know me at the Temple?”I said. “Even if they should find it out，they would laugh it off as a joke. Mother is at present in the home of the ninth sister. We could steal away and back without letting anyone know about it.”

Yün then had such fun looking at herself in the mirror. I dragged her along and we stole away together to the Temple. For a long time nobody in the Temple could detect it. When people asked, I simply said she was my boy cousin, and people would merely curtsy with their hands together and pass on. Finally, we came to a place where there were some young women and girls sitting behind the flower show. They were the family of the owner of that show,by the name of Yang. Yün suddenly went over to talk with them,and while talking,she casually leant over and touched the shoulder of a young woman. The maid-servants nearby shouted angrily, “How dare the rascal!”I attempted to explain and smooth the matter over,but the servants still scowled ominously on us,and seeing that the situation was desperate, Yün took off her cap and showed her feet, saying “Look here,I am a woman,too!” They all stared at each other in surprise, and then,instead of being angry,began to laugh. We were then asked to sit down and have some tea. Soon afterwards we got sedan-chairs and came home.

When Mr.Ch'ien Shihchu of Wukiang died of an illness,my father wrote a letter to me,asking me to go and attend the funeral. Yün secretly expressed her desire to come along since on our way to Wukiang, we would pass the Taihu Lake, which she wished very much to see. I told her that I was just thinking it would be too lonely for me to go alone,and that it would be excellent, indeed, if she could come along, except that I could not think of a pretext for her going.

“Oh，I could say that I am going to see my mother，”Yün said.“You can go ahead，and I shall come along to meet you.”“If so，” I said,“we can tie up our boat beneath the Bridge of Ten Thousand Years on our way home, where we shall be able to look at the moon again as we did at the Ts'anglang Pavilion.”

This was on the eighteenth day of the sixth moon. That day, I brought a servant and arrived first at Hsükiang Ferry,where I waited for her in the boat. By and by, Yün arrived in a sedan-chair,and we started off, passing by the Tiger's Roar Bridge, where the view opened up and we saw sailing boats and sand-birds flitting over the lake. The water was a white stretch,joining the sky at the horizon. “So this is Taihu!” Yün exclaimed. “I know now how big the universe is，and I have not lived in vain! I think a good many ladies never see such a view in their whole lifetime.” As we were occupied in conversation,it wasn't very long before we saw swaying willows on the banks,and we knew we had arrived at Wukiang.

I went up to attend the funeral ceremony, but when I came back,Yün was not in the boat. I asked the boatman and he said,“Don't you see someone under the willow trees by the bridge, watching the cormorants catching fish?”Yün,then,had gone up with the boatman's daughter. When I got behind her，I saw that she was perspiring all over,still leaning on the boatman's daughter and standing there absorbed looking at the cormorants. I patted her shoulder and said，“You are wet through.”Yün turned her head and said，“I was afraid that your friend Ch'ien might come to the boat,so I left to avoid him. Why did you come back so early?” “In order to catch the renegade!” I replied.

We then came back hand-in-hand to the boat, and when we stopped at the Bridge of Ten Thousand Years. The sun had not yet gone down. And we let down all the windows to allow the river breeze to come in, and there, dressed in light silk and holding a silk fan, we sliced a melon to cool ourselves. Soon the evening glow was casting a red hue over the bridge, and the distant haze enveloped the willow trees in twilight. The moon was then coming up, and all along the river we saw a stretch of lights coming from the fishing boats. I asked my servant to go astern and have a drink with the boatman.

The boatman's daughter was called Suyün. She was quite a likeable girl, and I had known her before. I beckoned her to come and sit together with Yün on the bow of the boat. We did not put on any light,so that we could the better enjoy the moon, and there we sat drinking heartily and playing literary games with wine as forfeit. Suyün just stared at us, listening for a long time before she said,“Now I am quite familiar with all sorts of wine-games, but have never heard of this one. Will you explain it to me?” Yün tried to explain it by all sorts of analogies to her,but still she failed to understand.

Then I laughed and said, “Will the lady teacher please stop a moment? I have a parable for explaining it, and she will understand at once.”“You try it, then!”“The stork,”I said, “can dance, but cannot plow,while the buffalo can plow, but cannot dance. That lies in the nature of things. You are making a fool of yourself by trying to teach the impossible to her.” Suyün pummelled my shoulder playfully, saying,“You are speaking of me as a buffalo, aren't you?”Then Yün said,“Hereafter let's make a rule: let's have it out with our mouths, but no hands! One who breaks the rule will have to drink a big cup.”As Suyün was a great drinker, she filled a cup full and drank it up at a draught. “I suggest that one may be allowed to use one's hands for caressing, but not for striking,” I said. Yün then playfully pushed Suyün into my lap, saying,“Now you can caress her to your full.”“How stupid of you!”I laughed in reply. “The beauty of caressing lies in doing it naturally and half unconsciously. Only a country bumpkin will hug and caress a woman roughly.” I noticed that the jasmine in the hair of both of them gave out a strange fragrance, mixed with the flavour of wine, powder and hair lotion and remarked to Yün, “The‘common little fellow’ stinks all over the place. It makes me sick.” Hearing this, Suyün struck me blow after blow with her fist in a rage, saying, “Who told you to smell it?”

“She breaks the rule! Two big cups!” Yün shouted.

“He called me‘common little fellow.’ Why shouldn't I strike him?” protested Suyün.

“He really means by the‘common little fellow’ something which you don't understand. You finish these two cups first and I'll tell you.”

When Suyün had finished the two cups, Yün told her of our discussion about the jasmine at the Ts'anglang Pavilion.

“Then the mistake is mine. I must be penalized again,”said Suyün. And she drank a third cup.

Yün said then that she had long heard of her reputation as a singer and would like to hear her sing. This Suyün did beautifully, beating time with her ivory chopsticks on a little plate. Yün drank merrily until she was quite drunk, when she took a sedan-chair and went home first,while I remained chatting with Suyün for a moment, and then walked home under the moonlight.

At this time, we were staying in the home of our friend Lu Panfang,in a house called Hsiaoshuanglou. A few days afterwards, Mrs.Lu heard of the story from someone, and secretly told Yün, “Do you know that your hushand was drinking a few days ago at the Bridge of Ten Thousand Years with two sing-song girls?”“Yes, I do,” replied Yün，“and one of the sing-song girls was myself.”Then she told her the whole story and Mrs. Lu had a good laugh at herself.

When I came back from Eastern Kwangtung in the seventh moon,1794, there was a boy cousin-in-law of mine, by the name of Hsü Hsiufeng, who had brought home with him a concubine. He was crazy about her beauty and asked Yün to go and see her. After seeing her, Yün remarked to Hsiufeng one day,“She has beauty but no charm .”“Do you mean to say that when your husband takes a concubine，she must have both beauty and charm?”answered Hsiufeng. Yün replied in the affirmative. So from that time on, she was quite bent on finding a concubine for me, but was short of cash.

At this time there was a Chekiang sing-song girl by the name of Wen Lenghsiang, who was staying at Soochow. She had composed four poems on the Willow Catkins which were talked about all over the city, and many scholars wrote poems in reply, using the same rhymewords as her originals, as was the custom. There was a friend of mine,Chang Hsienhan of Wukiang, who was a good friend of Lenghsiang and brought her poems to me, asking us to write some in reply. Yün wasn't interested because she did not think much of her, but I was intrigued and composed one on the flying willow catkins which filled the air in May. Two lines which Yün liked very much were：

“They softly touch the spring sorrow in my bosom，

And gently stir the longings in her heart.”

On the fifth day of the eighth moon in the following year, my mother was going to see Huch'iu with Yün, when Hsienhan suddenly appeared and said,“I am going to Huch'iu, too. Will you come along with me and see a beautiful sing-song girl?” I told my mother to go ahead and agreed to meet her at Pant'ang near Huch'iu. My friend then dragged me to Lenghsiang's place. I saw that Lenghsiang was already in her middle-age, but she had a girl by the name of Hanyüan, who was a very sweet young maiden, still in her teens. Her eyes looked“like an autumn lake that cooled one by its cold splendour.” After talking with her for a while, I learnt that she knew very well how to read and write. There was also a younger sister of hers, by the name of Wenyüan, who was still a mere child.

I had then no thought of going about with a sing-song girl, fully realizing that, as a poor scholar, I could not afford to take part in the feast in such a place. But since I was there already, I tried to get along as best I could.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” I said to Hsienhan secretly.

“No, ” he replied, “someone had invited me today to a dinner in Hanyüan's place in return for a previous dinner. It happened that the host himself was invited by an important person, and I am acting in his place. Don't you worry! ”

I felt then quite relieved. Arriving at Pant'ang, we met my mother's boat, and I asked Hanyüan to go over to her boat and meet her. When Yün and Han met each other, they instinctively took to each other like old friends, and later they went hand-in-hand all over the famous places on the hill. Yün was especially fond of a place called “A Thousand Acres of Clouds” for its loftiness, and she remained there for a long time, lost in admiration of the scenery. We returned to the Waterside of Rural Fragrance where we tied up the boats and had a jolly drinking party together.

When we started on our way home, Yün said, “Will you please go over to the other boat with your friend, while I share this one with Han?” We did as she suggested, and I did not return to my boat until we had passed the Tut'ing Bridge, where we parted from my friend and Hanyüan. It was midnight by the time we returned home.

“Now I have found a girl who has both beauty and charm, ”Yün said to me. “I have already asked Hanyüan to come and see us tomorrow, and I'll arrange it for you.”I was taken by surprise.

“You know we are not a wealthy family. We can't afford to keep a girl like that, and we are so happily married. Why do you want to find somebody else? ”

“But I love her, ”said Yün smilingly.“You just leave it to me.”

The following afternoon, Hanyüan actually came. Yün was very cordial to her and prepared a feast, and we played the fingerguessing game and drank, but during the whole dinner, not a word was mentioned about securing her for me. When Hanyüan had gone, Yün said,“I have secretly made another appointment with her to come on the eighteenth, when we will pledge ourselves as sisters. You must prepare a sacrificial offering for the occasion”; and pointing to the emerald bracelet on her arm, she continued, “if you see this bracelet appear on Hanyüan's arm, you'll understand that she has consented. I have already hinted at it to her, but we haven't got to know each other as thoroughly as I should like to yet. ” I had to let her have her own way.

On the eighteenth, Hanyüan turned up in spite of a pouring rain. She disappeared in the bedroom for a long time before she came out hand-in-hand with Yün. When she saw me, she felt a little shy, for the bracelet was already on her arm. After they had burnt incense and pledged an oath, Yün wanted to have another drink together with her that day. But it happened that Hanyüan had an engagement to go and visit the Shih-hu Lake, and soon she left.

Yün came to me all smiles and said,“Now that I have found a beauty for you, how are you going to reward the go-between?”I asked her for the details.

“I had to broach the topic delicately to her,” she said，“because I was afraid that she might have someone else in mind. Now I have learnt that there isn't anyone, and I asked her, ‘Do you understand why we have this pledge today?’ ‘I should feel greatly honoured if I could come to your home, but my mother is expecting a lot of me and I can't decide by myself. We will watch and see,’ she replied. As I was putting on the bracelet, I told her again, ‘The jade is chosen for its hardness as a token of fidelity and the bracelet's roundness is a symbol of everlasting faithfulness. Meanwhile, please put it on as a token of our pledge. She replied that everything depends on me. So it seems that she is willing herself. The only difficulty is her mother, Lenghsiang. We will wait and see how it turns out.”

“Are you going to enact the comedy Lianhsiangpan of Li Liweng right in our home?”

“ Yes!” Yün replied.

From that time on, not a day passed without her mentioning Hanyüan's name. Eventually Hanyüan was married by force to some influential person, and our arrangements did not come off. And Yün actually died of grief on this account.

我生于乾隆统治时期，癸未年（1763年）十一月二十二日。当时正值太平盛世，且生在士人学者之家，居住在苏州沧浪亭边，上天待我可说是优厚异常。苏东坡有言：“事如春梦了无痕。”如若我不努力将生活记录下来，则有负上天的恩惠了。

既然《诗经》以一首写婚恋之爱的诗歌开篇，我想此书也就从夫妇之事讲起，之后再逐次讲其他事情。唯一遗憾自己少时受教不足，所知仅只一些简陋之辞，且我不过想记下这些真情实事，诚愿读者多有包涵，勿要细察我的文法，那好比责求污秽的镜子也能光亮如新。

我幼年时与金沙于氏小姐定亲，于氏八岁而亡，最后我娶了亲族陈家的姑娘。陈氏名芸，字淑珍，是我的表姐，我舅舅心馀先生的女儿。芸自小聪慧伶俐，在她学说话时，教她白居易的长诗《琵琶行》，她很快就能背诵。四岁时她父亲去世，家中只有她母亲（金氏）、弟弟克昌和她自己，家境几乎一贫如洗。芸年岁稍长即学做女红，供养一家三口用度，并始终设法按期付克昌的学费。一天，她自废纸篓中捡得《琵琶行》一诗，凭着对此诗的记忆，便从上面逐字逐句学认起来。刺绣的闲暇，她渐渐学会写诗，其中一首里有如下两句：

我十三岁时，跟随母亲回娘家，在那里我们才遇见。那时我和芸还是天真的孩子，她让我看她写的诗。我很吃惊于她的才思，然而又担心她太过聪明而难享福泽。尽管如此，我仍禁不住一直想着她，一次我跟母亲说：“你要是为我择妻，除淑姐以外我谁都不娶。”我母亲也喜欢她这般温顺柔婉，便将手上的金戒指送与她作为定亲的信物。

那一日是乾隆乙未年（1775）七月十六。这年冬天，我的一个表姐（另一个舅舅的女儿）要出嫁，我又陪母亲去了她娘家。

芸与我同龄，但长我十个月，因我们从小习惯以姐弟相称，所以我仍旧叫她“淑姐”。

其时屋内所有客人皆衣衫鲜亮，唯芸着一身颜色素净的衣裙，但穿了一双新鞋。我注意到她鞋上的刺绣很是精巧，待知是她自己的手工，我才意识到她除了读书写作之外，其他事情上亦很有天分。

芸身形纤细，削肩长颈，然瘦不露骨，眉清目秀，顾盼间透出一种敏慧温雅之色。唯一不足是两颗门牙稍稍前倾，似非吉兆之相。她全身散发一股柔婉的气息，令我彻底为她着迷。

我向她索要她的诗稿，发现大多是对句和一些三四行未完成的诗。询问何以如此。她笑着说：“没人教我作诗，希望有一位良师益友帮助我完成。”我在这本诗稿的标签上戏题以“锦囊佳句”四字，不想此中已伏着她生命短促的因由。

那天晚上，我从城外面回来，送完新娘表姐已是半夜，感觉很饿，想要点东西吃。女佣拿来一些枣脯，我嫌太甜。芸悄悄拉着我的衣袖进到她屋里，见她藏了一碗热粥并几样小菜。我胃口大开，拿起筷子正要吃，这时芸的堂兄玉衡大喊道：“淑妹，快来！”芸急忙关上门说：“我很累了，准备要睡了。”玉衡强推门而入，见此情景，坏笑着对芸说：“哟，怪不得呢！先前我要粥吃，你说没有了，原来是要留给你未来的夫婿啊。”芸大为窘然，所有人都笑她，包括几个下人。而我则带了一名老仆气冲冲地跑回了家。

自吃粥之事后，我再去她家，芸总是躲着我，我知道她只是想避免成为大家的笑柄。

秋侵人影瘦，霜染菊花肥。

沧浪之水清兮，可以濯我缨，

沧浪之水浊兮，可以濯我足！

When the water is clear, I will wash the tassels of my hat, and when the water is muddy, I will wash my feet.

我们的婚礼在乾隆庚子年（1780）正月二十二日举行。那晚她来到我家时，我发现她的身体还跟以前一样纤瘦。盖头被掀起的那一刻，我们相视而笑。喝完例行的新人交杯酒后，我们坐下来一起用餐，我在桌子底下悄悄握住她的手。她的手小巧而温暖，我的心怦怦直跳。我让她吃东西，得知那日正逢她的斋期，她吃斋已经有好几年。我发现她开始斋戒的时间正好是我出水痘的日期，于是跟她打趣说：“如今我脸上光洁无痘，亲爱的姐姐，你是不是该开戒了呀？”芸看着我微笑着点了点头。

二十四日我姐要出嫁，就在两天之后，因二十三日国忌在即，不得作乐，便在二十二日晚上，我结婚的日子，为我姐举办了送亲宴。芸陪坐在席，而我在新房里同伴娘玩猜拳游戏，因为一直输，我喝得烂醉而睡。第二天早上醒来时，芸已近梳妆完毕了。

那一天，我们一直忙着招待客人，快傍晚时奏起了音乐。午夜过后，二十四日凌晨，我作为新娘的兄弟为阿姐送行，回来时已近三点。其时房间一派安宁，沐浴在静静的烛光里。我进屋见陪伴芸的老妇正在我们的床前打盹，芸已卸去新娘装扮，但还没上床，正弯着她雪白漂亮的颈子，在明亮的烛光前全神贯注地读一本书。我轻抚着她的肩膀说：“姐姐，为何还这么孜孜不倦呢？一连辛苦几日，你一定很累了。”

芸即刻转过头起身说：“我正要睡觉时，打开书橱看见这本书，便再也放不下了。此时我睡意已全消。《西厢记》这个书名我听闻已久，今日才头一回看见，果然是才子之作，但是觉得它的风格有一点尖酸刻薄。”

“就因为是才子，方能作此尖薄之风啊。”我笑着说。

陪伴芸的老妇催促我们就寝，我们让她关门先去。我在芸身边坐下来，我们像久别重逢的老友一般开起了玩笑。我摩挲她的胸口逗她，感觉她的心也怦怦作跳。“姐姐为何心跳得这般厉害呀？”我俯身在她耳边低语。芸回眸微笑，我们在一阵激情的迷雾中心醉神驰。之后即上床入睡，不觉间天已经亮了。

初为新娘，芸甚是沉静少语。从未有愠怒或不悦之色，有人与她说话时，也只是微笑而已。事长辈恭敬有礼，待下人亲近和睦。凡事都做得妥帖得当，难挑出什么过失。每看到窗外天蒙蒙亮即起床梳洗，仿佛有谁催促她如此。“干吗这么早？”我问她，“又不是你给我吃粥那时候，不用怕人说闲话。”“因为那碗粥的缘故，我落为大家的笑柄，”她回答说，“但如今我不是怕人说，我只怕父母会认为他们的媳妇懒惰。”

尽管我想让她在床上多躺一会儿，又不禁赞赏她的品行，于是自己也随她早起。自此每日耳鬓厮磨，亲如形影，我们之间的爱恋之情已非言语可以形容。

时间愉快地过去，蜜月转眼便结束。其时我父亲稼夫公在会稽幕府当职，他专门派人接我过去，需要说明的是，在此期间，我一直受教于武林（今杭州）赵省斋先生门下。赵先生循循善诱，事实上，我今日能够为文写字，全然因为先生的教诲。

当初我回家完婚时，原计划婚礼一结束，就要马上回父亲那里继续我的学业。所以听到此消息时，我怅然无措，担心芸会哭泣垂泪，但芸反而强作笑脸来安慰，并帮我整好行李。只是那晚我察觉她神色稍不似往常。分别时，她小声对我说：“好生照料自己，到那边就没人照顾你了。”

登舟出发，我看到两岸桃李盛开，只觉自己像失群的孤鸟，仿佛世界就要在我周围倾塌。一到了那儿，我父亲就渡河去了东面一个地方。

如此过了三个月，对我来说有如漫长难熬的十年。尽管芸按期给我写信，但总是我给她两封信，只得一封回复，且信中多只是劝勉之词，其余皆空泛俗套之语，我心中甚是不快。每当风吹过院中竹林，或月光自蕉叶后照在窗上，我便为她魂牵梦绕，思念不已。

先生留意到这些，便写信给我的父亲，说要留十个题目让我回家做文章。我像一名戍边之人得到了赦令回乡一样。

有渔舟散卧于平静的水上，

好似一幅最好的月下美景。

Fishing boats lay about on the stretch of calm water—a scene which seemed to be best looked at under the moonlight.

说来也奇，当我登上回家的船时，只觉得一刻长如一年。及至家中，向母亲请安后进到我自己房间。芸起身相迎，寂静中我们握着彼此的手，仿佛此时我们的魂魄已消逝或幻散如一阵烟雾，只觉得耳中惺然一响，便不知身在何时何地了。

此时正当六月，屋内十分炎热。所幸我们住在沧浪亭爱莲居西边。板桥上有一座敞开的廊厅俯瞰水上，名曰“我取”——取“沧浪之水清兮，可以濯我缨；沧浪之水浊兮，可以濯我足！”之意。屋檐边，一棵老树浓荫覆窗，映得人面都染上了绿意；隔河望去，可见游人往来不绝。这里是我父亲经常垂帘宴客之处。我征得母亲同意，携芸过来在此消夏。因为天热，夏天几个月里她也放下刺绣，整日与我一起读书论古，或赏月品花。芸不善饮酒，但不得已时也能喝上三杯。我教她射覆酒令，输者饮酒。我们以为尘世生活的快乐，也莫过于此吧。

一天，芸问我道：“诸多古代文人，要宗法哪一位才是呢？”我回答说：“《战国策》和《庄子》以思想的轻灵和风格表现力著称，匡衡和刘向以其典雅刚健而闻名，司马迁和班固取其知识之广博，韩愈取其浑厚之质，柳宗元取其峭拔之美，欧阳修取其跌宕恣肆，三苏取其一贯的雄辩。此外有贾谊和董仲舒的政治散文，庾信和徐陵的骈文，陆贽的奏议，其他则无法一一列举。然而，真正的鉴赏，就看阅读者自身的造化了。”

芸说：“古文之所以好，全在其思想之深刻和精神之伟大，这对女性来说恐怕很难深入领会。然而我相信，我对诗歌一门的确有所领悟。”

我说：“唐代科举考试中，诗歌作为一种文学测试来招贤纳士，人们尊奉李白和杜甫为诗之宗。两者中你更喜欢哪一位？”

芸说：“杜诗以技巧和艺术的精纯见长，李诗以自由而自然的表达闻名。我宁爱李白之活泼，甚于杜甫之森严。”

“杜甫被公认为诗圣，学人多取法于他。为何你偏喜欢李白？”我问她。

“当然，”她说，“要说形式之完美与旨意之精深，杜甫是无可争议的大师，但李白的诗有世外仙子的任性之美。其诗句得来如落花流水，自然而发更加令人喜爱。我并非说杜甫亚于李白，只是我个人觉得，不是我宗杜之心不足，而是我爱李之心更多。”

“哎哟，不料你还是李白的知己啊！”

“还有另一位诗人白居易，可说是我的启蒙之师，令我时感于心，从来不曾忘记。”

“为何这样说呢？”我问道。

“他不是写《琵琶行》的那位吗？”

“真是奇哉，”我笑道，“这么说李白是你的知己，白居易是你的启蒙之师，而你的丈夫又表字三白。看来你这一生总是与‘白’字有缘啊。”

“真是呢，”芸笑道，“与‘白’字有缘，只怕我此生都要白字联翩了。”（吴越方言称别字为白字。）遂一起大笑起来。

“你既然懂诗，我也想知道你对赋的口味。”我说。

“《楚辞》无疑是赋之源头，但我发觉它很难懂。就汉、晋而言，从语体与措辞来看，似觉司马相如为最高。”

“当初文君被引诱与相如私奔，原因或不在音乐，而在其诗赋啊！”遂又一同大笑起来。

我生性直率，不依惯例，而芸如孔门儒士，迂拘多礼。有时为她披衣整袖，她总会再三说“得罪，得罪”，每为她递毛巾或扇子，她必会起身来接。起初我厌烦这点，便对她说：“你是想用所有这些礼节来束缚我吗？有句话说，‘礼多必诈’。”芸登时红了脸道：“我不过想恭敬有礼，你为何反而说我有诈？”我说：“真正的恭敬只在内心，无须这般虚礼俗套。”但芸说：“至亲莫过于儿女与父母之间。你是说儿女应对父母举止随意，而只在心里尊敬吗？” “哎呀！我前面就是开个玩笑。”我说。“问题是，夫妻反目大多起于玩笑。日后你可不要指责我无礼，那样我会因无法辩解而伤心死的。”芸说。于是我将她紧紧揽在怀中抚慰她，直到她露出笑容。自那以后，我们说话间便多有“岂敢，岂敢”或“得罪，得罪”之语。如此相敬如宾地过了二十三年，如梁鸿孟光（东汉）一般，且共处愈久，相互间依恋愈甚。

家庭之内，无论屋内碰面或窄道相逢，两人常握着对方的手问道：“你去哪儿呀？”我们偷偷地这样做，仿佛怕有人看见。事实上，起初我们并坐或同行时还避着别人，但一段时间之后，便不再顾忌这些。有时芸与别人坐着聊天，看见我过来，必起身偏挪一边，让我挨着她坐下。一切都自然而然几乎不觉得什么，尽管开始时还有些不自在，后来便成为习惯之事。我无法理解为什么所有老年夫妇总要彼此怨恨如冤家。或有人说：“若他们不是冤家，就没法白头偕老。”好吧，我倒是怀疑！

这年七夕，芸备好香火、蜡烛和瓜果，我们一同于“我取轩”中祭拜天孙。我镌刻了两方图章，印字为“愿生生世世为夫妇”，我持朱文，芸执白文，以作往来书信之用。

那晚月色很美，俯视河中，银波闪耀如练。我们身着轻衣，手执罗扇，并坐于临河的窗前，仰望天空，只见飞云穿渡，变幻万状。芸说：“宇宙之大，同此一月。不知今日世间，是否有另一对爱人也如我们一般，正意致盎然地赏月呢？”我说：“哦！此时纳凉赏月的人应该很多啊，或也有许多女子于深闺秀闼中品论云霞；但若一对夫妇一同赏月，谈论的恐怕就不是云霞了吧。”不一会儿，烛光熄灭，月亮沉潜，遂撤去瓜果回屋就寝。

七月半是鬼节。芸略置酒菜，准备邀月共饮，然而到夜晚时，天空突然阴云密布。芸皱眉说：“如若老天希望我们二人此生共度，白头偕老，则今晚的月亮当再次出来。”我自己也感到兴味索然。隔河望去，但见人群中萤火闪烁如万千烛光，在堤岸旁的柳树与水蓼间穿梭来回。

于是我们开始一起联句赋诗，每人一次说两句，第一个人完成的对句作为另一个人的首句，然后第二个人出新联由另一个人来对，如此数韵之后，愈联愈荒诞不经，到最后成了一堆草率的打油诗。至此时，芸已笑得梨花带泪，倒在我怀里上不来气，只觉她发间茉莉的气味浓香扑鼻。我拍拍她的肩膀打趣说：“我以为茉莉被用来作为女人的发饰是因其纯净圆润如珍珠，却不知其香味沾上女人头发和脂粉的气息后更加可爱。闻此香时，虽佛手亦不可与之媲美。”芸止住笑说：“佛手为芳香植物中的君子，其香幽微淡雅，几乎难以察觉；另一方面，茉莉乃凡俗小人，因其香味部分借自他人。所以茉莉之香就像谄笑者的奉承。”“那么，”我说，“为何你远君子而近小人呢？”芸回答说：“我不过笑那君子爱着一个小人罢了。”

几番争辩，已是半夜，却见天上风扫云开，一盏明月当空涌出，圆满如车轮，于是皆大欢喜，便开始倚窗对饮，还没喝几杯，忽然听见桥下扑通一声，仿佛有人堕入水中。我们朝窗外望去，水上波平如镜，什么也没看见，只听到河滩上一只鸭子惊惶奔跑的声音。我知道沧浪亭边素有溺死者的鬼魂，但知道芸很胆小，未敢跟她提及。芸叹气道：“咦！这声音是哪里来的呢？”两人不禁都毛骨悚然，便急忙关上窗户，携了酒壶回房。此时屋内一灯如豆，昏暗中床边罗帐低垂，我们都惊得浑身发抖。于是挑亮油灯，入帐就寝，芸已发起了高烧。没多久我自己也烧起来，两人一连病了有二十日。真正是俗话说的乐极灾生，而这也是我们不能一起白头到老的征兆。

八月十五日中秋节，我病后初愈。芸作为新妇在我家已半年多，却一直未去过隔壁的沧浪亭。我便先让一位老仆告知看门人不要放其他游人进入。傍晚时，我带着芸与我幼妹，由一位年老的女佣和一个婢女扶着，一位老仆在前面带路。过了石桥，进大门向东，沿一条曲折的小路进去，看见垒穴巨石，林木葱翠。亭子在一座小山顶上。循台阶上至亭中，极目望去可见周围数里，远处有炊烟袅袅，自农舍的烟囱升起，而晚霞灿然如幕。河对岸有片树林名为“近山林”，是达官贵人们常用来宴宾会客之处。后来，在这里修建了正谊书院，但那时还没有。我们拿来一块毯子，铺在亭子的地上，然后席地围坐一起，其间看门人为我们侍奉茶水。没过一会儿，一轮明月已从树林后升起，而微风拂弄着我们的衣袖，月亮的影子在水波间闪闪发亮，一切俗虑尘怀，爽然自胸中消失。“这一日过得尽善尽美，”芸说，“要是能找条船来在亭子附近划一阵，就太好了！”至此时，各家各户已亮起灯火，想到七月十五那晚受的惊吓，我们便离开亭子匆匆回去了。按吴地风俗，中秋之夜，妇女们不论穷家富户都要出门结队而游，俗称为“走月亮”。奇怪的是，像沧浪亭这样清旷优美的地界，反而没有一个人过来。

我父亲稼夫公好认义子，因此我有异姓兄弟二十六人；我母亲也有义女九人，其中王二姑、俞六姑与芸最要好。王二姑痴顽善饮，俞六姑直爽好谈。她们在一起时，常常将我赶出去，以便她们三人能同榻而卧。我知道这是俞六姑的主意，一次我跟她打趣说：“等你结婚了，我就把你丈夫请过来，留他一连住上十日。”俞六姑说：“那我也来这儿，和芸住一张床。岂不是很有趣？”芸和王二姑闻此只是微笑不语。

那时我弟弟启堂要结婚，我们便搬到饮马桥附近的仓米巷。房屋虽甚宽敞，但不如沧浪亭边清静幽雅。我母亲生日那天，家里请人来唱戏，芸开始时甚觉好奇。我父亲素来无所忌讳，点了一出《惨别》，伶人们演得情真意切，观看者无不深受触动。隔着帘子，我看到芸忽然起身进了里边，半天不露面。我去看她，俞六姑和王二姑也跟了进去，见芸一手支着下巴，独自坐在梳妆台一边。“为何如此伤感呢？”我问道。“看戏原是为怡悦性情，”芸说，“但今日之戏徒然令人肠断！”王二姑和俞六姑都笑她，我便护着她道：“因为她有深情善感之心才这般动容啊！”“你要一天都坐在这里吗？”俞六姑问道。“我等演更好的戏时再出去看。”芸回答道。听了这话，王二姑先出去让我母亲点了《刺梁》《后索》等欢快些的戏目，然后劝芸出来观看，这才让她高兴起来。

我堂伯父素存公去世得早，没有子嗣，我父亲便将我过继给他。他的墓在西跨塘福寿山，我们家祖坟边上，每年春天我都携芸一起去祭拜。附近有座漂亮的园子叫戈园，王二姑听说后，请求与我们同去。芸看见山上的卵石有各色好看的纹理，便对我说：“如若我们将这些卵石堆叠成一座盆山，岂不比宣州白石更为雅致。”我说这样的石头恐怕没那么多。“只要芸果真喜欢，我去给她捡。”王二姑说。于是从守坟人处借来一条麻袋，一路鹤步而拾之。每捡一颗，她都问我的意见。若是我说好，她便收进袋里；若我说不好，则弃之。没多久她便粉汗盈盈，站起身拽着麻袋回到我们跟前。“再捡我都要没力气了。”她说。“我听说，”芸一边拣麻袋里好看的石头一边道，“收获山里的果实必借助猴子的力量，看来的确如此啊。”王二姑气恼地伸手做出要挠她的痒痒样子，我拦在中间，责备芸说：“不怪人家生气呢，人家辛劳半日，你在一边旁观，还说这种不厚道的话。”

回归途中我们去游戈园，看见满园花木色彩缤纷，争媚竞艳。王二姑素性幼稚，时不时无端摘几朵花。芸责备说：“你摘这么多花做什么？既没想养在瓶里，也不想簪戴发间。”“哎呀！那有什么妨害呢？花又不知道痛痒。”“好吧，”我说，“总有一天你要被罚嫁一位麻面多须的郎君，替这些花泄愤。”王二姑怒目看着我，将花掷于地上，并用脚踢进湖里。“为何你们都欺负我？”她说。芸上前好言劝解，这才平静下来。

芸初时缄默少语，喜欢听我品长论短，我逐步教她说话的技巧，如同以草叶逗引蟋蟀一般。她渐渐也就会说了。例如，每日吃饭时，她必以茶泡之，且喜欢吃芥卤腐乳，苏州人称“臭豆腐”。她喜欢吃的另一样东西是虾卤瓜。这两样我都很厌恶。一日我开玩笑对她说：“狗无胃而吃人之糟粕，因它们不识其臭；蜣螂团粪而化蝉，因为想飞上天堂。你是狗呢，还是蜣螂呢？”芸对答说：“人吃腐乳，因为其价廉，可以就米饭也可以就粥。我自小吃它已经习惯了。如今我嫁到你家，我仍旧吃它，因为人不应该忘记老朋友。至于说虾卤瓜，倒是在你家才第一次尝到呢。”

“哦，那我家即是狗窝是不是？”芸窘然辩解道：“当然，每家皆有糟粕；区别只在乎吃与不吃。比如，你自己吃大蒜，我也试着与你一起吃。我不会强迫你吃臭豆腐，但卤瓜真的很美味，假如你吃的时候不去闻它。你亲自尝一尝便会知道。就像古时的无盐女，虽貌丑然而德美。”“你是要将我调教成狗吗？”我问道。“好吧，我做狗已经很久了，你何不试一试呢？”说着便用筷子夹起一片卤瓜强塞入我口中。我屏住呼吸咀嚼，发现的确很美味。然后我如平常一般吃起来，竟觉其滋味妙不可言。自那以后我也爱上了吃虾卤瓜。芸还将腐乳拌以芝麻油和白糖，我发现也很鲜美。后来我们把卤瓜与腐乳混在一起，并称之为“双鲜酱”。我说我不明白为何我当初厌恶，现在却如此喜欢。芸说：“假如你爱上一样东西，自会忘记它的丑陋。”

我弟弟启堂的妻子是王虚舟先生的孙女。婚礼那天她要戴珍珠结果没有。芸拿出了自己的珠花，她做新娘时所受的彩礼，一并交给我母亲。女仆觉得可惜，但芸说：“女性属纯阴之身，而珍珠亦然。再以珍珠为首饰，则阳气全克，无处容纳矣。因此我并不以为贵。”然而，她对旧书残画却有种特殊的喜好。只要看见零散残缺的书籍，便尽力分门别类，细加整理，重新汇订成册，并收在一起统名为“断简残编”。若见书法或绘画卷轴有破损，她便找来一些旧纸糊好，并要我把缺损处填补完整，再卷起来放好，名之为“弃余集赏”。这便是她于女红或茶饭之余所终日忙碌之事。每当她于破笥烂卷中寻得片纸书画之类就非常高兴，好似发现了什么珍贵的遗迹。我家以前的邻居，一位姓冯的老妇人，每收来旧书残卷就来卖给她。她的品位习性与我一致，且善于察眼神，懂眉语，诸事无须言传即做得完美妥帖。

一次我对她说：“可惜你是女儿身。如若是个男子，我们可相与出行，访名山，览胜迹，遨游天下。”

芸说：“哎，这有何难，待我鬓发斑白时，虽不能陪你至三山五岳，近处的虎丘、灵岩这些地方，更南至西湖，北到平山（在扬州），都可以一起游览啊。”

“这当然好，只怕等你鬓斑之时，你也就老得走不动了。”

“若今世不能如愿，那我来世再走。”

“来世你当作男儿，而我要从你为妇。”

“那就太美了，若那时我们还记得今世所发生的事情。”

“那好是很好，但一碗粥尚且提供如此多谈资，若那时我们仍记得今世之事，新婚之夜光谈论我们前世所经历者便整夜不能合眼了。”

“据说月下老人掌管着人间的婚姻，”芸说，“他好心让我们今生结为夫妇，我俩来世的姻缘还要仰赖他的恩惠。我们何不画一幅像挂在家中祭拜他？”

苕溪（今浙江）人戚柳堤先生擅画人像，于是我们请他画了一幅月老图。图上的月下老人一手挽红丝线（为了把所有夫妇的心系在一起），一手拄一根拐杖，上挂着姻缘簿，鹤发而童颜，奔忙于云天雾地之间。这一幅说来也是戚先生的得意之作。我朋友石琢堂在上面题了几句赞语，我们把画挂在房中，每逢初一、十五，我二人便一起焚香拜祷。如今我不知画在何处，因家事多有变迁，已经遗失了。正如诗中所说，“他生未卜此生休”。不知上天是否真听从我们两个痴情人的祈愿。

迁至仓米巷后，我将我们的卧室题名为“宾香阁”，取自芸的名字和梁鸿孟光夫妇相敬如宾的典故。我们不大喜欢这个房子，墙太高，庭院又太小，后面还有一幢厢楼，通向藏书处。从后窗向外望去，可见陆氏废园，然已破败不堪，芸的心思仍流连于沧浪亭的美景。

当时有位老妇人住在金母桥之东，埂巷之北。她家的小屋四周都是菜地，有一扇枝条编的篱笆门。门外有水池约一亩大小，篱边有大片的花木掩映其间。此地是元末张士诚王府的旧址。屋舍西面几步远处，瓦砾堆成了土山，登顶远眺四周景色，但见一片草木葱茏的旷野。

有一次，老妇人偶然提到那个地方，芸便一直神往着。某日芸对我说：“自打离开沧浪亭，我老是梦见它。既然不能住在那儿，我们就得将就稍次一点的。我有个好主意，我们搬去老妇人那里住吧？”我说：“我也正想有个地方去消度这暑天长昼呢。要是你喜欢，我且先去看一看。如果合意，我们就可带寝具过去，在那儿逗留一个月，如何？”“只怕母亲不答应。”“噢，这事我来请示。”我对她说。于是第二天，我来到老妇人家，发现房屋只有两间，分隔成四部分。有纸窗竹榻，住在里面应该非常凉爽。老妇人晓得我的心意，欣然将她的卧室出租给我。把屋子四壁糊上白纸，一下子大为改观。然后我将此事禀告过母亲，便携芸一起住过去。

我们的邻居只有一对老夫妇，二人种菜卖菜为生。得知我们要在此避暑，便带着池塘里钓的鱼和他们自家地里的蔬菜过来拜访我们。我们要付钱，他们执意不收，后来芸为他们每人做了一双鞋，最后才说服他们收下。

此时正当七月，树下浓荫覆盖，夏日的微风吹过池塘的水面，空气中蝉鸣声不绝于耳。邻老也为我们做了一根鱼竿，我和芸常一起在柳荫下钓鱼。黄昏时，我们便登上土山看一看晚霞，随意写几行诗。最佳两句为：

“兽云吞落日，弓月弹流星。”

少顷，月亮映于水中，而虫声四起，我们在篱边放一张竹榻。老妇人告知我们酒已温好、茶饭已备，我们便坐下来，在饭前对月小酌几杯。沐浴罢，我们换上凉鞋，手执蕉扇，或坐或卧，听邻居讲因果报应的传说。大约午夜时分回屋睡觉，只觉通体清凉，几乎忘了自己居住于城市之中。

我们请邻老沿篱笆种了许多菊花。九月花开后，我和芸在那里又住了十日。我母亲也欣然过来观赏。我们在菊花间吃着螃蟹，一起消磨了一整天。

芸很痴心于这一切，对我说：“几时我们也在这里盖几间屋舍，屋舍周围买十亩地，请仆人在地里种上蔬菜瓜果，以供日常三餐用度。你作画我刺绣，足以备诗酒会友之需。如此，穿简朴衣着，吃简单餐饭，便可相与快乐终身，不用去任何地方了。”我深以为然。如今那地方还在，而我的知己却已经亡故了。可叹生事难料啊！

离我家半里地左右，有洞庭君祠，俗称水仙庙，地点在醋库巷。祠中回廊曲折，可说是一个带凉亭的花园。神诞日这一天，各宗族分得庙里的一个角落，大家都挂上一式漂亮的玻璃灯，中间设一张座椅，两边木几上摆放花瓶。瓶内插花，以较胜负。白天时会有戏剧表演，到了夜间，花瓶被蜡烛映照得光灿绚丽，俗称为“花照”。花光灯影，暗香浮动，整个景象就好似龙宫的夜宴。人们或放歌奏乐，或品茶闲聊。观赏者群集而立观看表演，路边设栏杆为限。

我被朋友邀去帮忙布置，因而有幸参与其中。回家后跟芸讲述时，芸说：“可惜我不是男子，不能前去观看。”“怎么不能？你可以戴我的帽子，穿我的衣服，假扮成一个男人。”我建议道。于是她将发髻梳成辫子，描粗了眉毛，并戴上我的帽子。尽管两鬓间微露出少许头发，但尚可掩饰。因为我的袍子她穿起来长出一寸半，她便在腰间折缝了一圈，外面加一件马褂。“可我的脚怎么办呢？”芸问道。我告诉她有一种叫“蝴蝶履”的鞋子，大小脚都能穿，店里很容易买到，建议她买一双，以后也可在家当拖鞋穿。芸对此很是欣然，晚饭后，她装扮完毕，便模仿男人的手势步态，在房间踱来踱去好一阵，突然变卦说：“我不去了！要是被人发现多别扭呀，而且父母也会反对！”我仍旧劝她去。“在庙里谁不认识我呀，”我说，“就算他们看出来了，也会一笑置之。母亲现正在九妹家中。我们可悄悄去悄悄回，不让任何人知道。”

If I can't do it in this life, then I shall do it in the next.

若今世不能如愿，那我来世再走。

芸于是揽镜自顾，觉得甚是好玩，狂笑不已。我拽着她一径溜出来到了庙里，逛了好一阵也没人发觉。有人问起时，我只说是我的表弟，他们便拱手作揖而去。最后我们来到一个地方，有几名年轻妇人和女孩坐在花展座椅后面。她们是此处展览管事者的家眷，管事者姓杨。芸突然走过去跟她们攀谈，说话间，她无意中侧身，碰着一个年轻女子的肩膀。一旁的婢女愤然叫道：“哪里来的流氓，这般狂妄！”我试图解释以息事宁人，但那女仆仍旧对我们怒目而视。见形势不妙，芸摘下帽子，并把她的脚露出来对她说：“你看，我也是女的！”她们吃惊地互相看着，便不再生气，开始笑起来。然后我们被邀请坐下来喝茶，不久便唤来轿子回家了。

吴江钱师竹病故，我父亲写信来，让我前去吊唁。芸私下表示她愿跟我一起去，因为到吴江路上要经过太湖，她非常想去看看，我跟她说我正想着独自出门甚是寂寞，若她能同行，固然极好，只是我想不出找什么托词。

“噢，我就说我要回娘家，”芸说，“你可先去，我随后即来与你会合。”“这样的话，回来路上我们可将船停在万年桥下，在那里与你一同赏月，重温沧浪旧事。”

当时是六月十八日。这一天，我带了一名仆人先到胥江渡口，在船上等候她来。未过多时，芸乘轿而至，于是出发，过虎啸桥，视野渐变得开阔，但见帆影憧憧，沙鸟旋飞于湖面，而白水茫茫，远接天际。“这就是太湖啊，”芸惊叫道，“我今日得知天地之大，也算不枉此生了！想来有多少女子终其一生未见过如此光景啊！”闲聊没多久，看见岸上杨柳摇曳，知道我们已到了吴江。

我登岸去拜奠，等我回来时，芸却不在船上。问船夫，他说：“你没见桥边柳树下观看鱼鹰捕鱼的人吗？”那时，芸已与船家的女儿上了岸。我到她身后时，见她全身粉汗盈盈，仍倚靠船家女站着，全神贯注于观看鱼鹰。我拍拍她的肩膀说：“你都湿透啦！”芸转过头说：“我担心你钱家的朋友或许来船上，所以离船避一避。怎么你回来得这么早？”“我回来抓捕逃犯啊！”我答道。

于是二人相挽登舟，返程时停靠在万年桥下。此时太阳还没下去。我们放下所有窗户，让河上的清风进来，在那里，二人身着罗衫，手执纨扇，又切了一只西瓜解暑。少顷，晚霞倾泻一片红色在桥上，远处的雾霭笼罩黄昏的柳树。此时银月初上，而渔火满江矣！我叫了仆人去船尾与船家共饮。

全然与世隔绝，以修得内心真正的安宁。

Completely shut out from the world, in order to achieve true peace of mind.

船家的女儿名叫素云，是个可爱的姑娘，先前就已认识。我唤她过来与芸坐在一处，船头没有掌灯，以便更好地享受月光。我们坐在那里畅饮，以射覆为令，输者罚酒。素云只是看着我们，聆听良久后说：“我对各种酒令颇为熟悉，却从未听说这一种。你为我讲讲可好？”芸试以各种类比向她说明，她仍是茫然不解。

我于是笑道：“这位女先生请稍停片刻如何？我有一个比喻来解释，她即刻就会明白。”“那你说说看？”我说：“鹤善舞而不能耕，牛善耕而不能舞。此物性使然。你费力传授她不可能的事情，是在愚弄你自己。”素云开玩笑地连捶我的肩膀说：“你在骂我是牛是不是？”然后芸说：“从现在起我们立一条规矩：只许动口，不许动手！违者罚饮一大杯。”因素云酒量好，便倒满一大杯一饮而尽。“我提议，可准许动手抚摸，但不准捶人。”我说。芸笑着将素云推入我怀中说：“现在你可以任意摸索了。”“这你就蠢了不是，”我笑着回答说，“摸索的妙处只在乎有意无意之间。只有乡巴佬才会粗鲁地抱着摸一个女子。”我留意到她二人头发间所簪的茉莉散发出一种奇异的香味，混杂着酒气、脂粉和头油的味道，便对芸说：“满处都是‘小人’的臭味，让人作呕啊！”听我这样说，素云用拳头连连捶打我说：“谁叫你闻它呢！”

“她犯了规矩！罚两大杯！”芸叫道。

“他叫我‘小人’，我不应该打他吗？”素云抗议道。

“他所说‘小人’的意思，其实你不明白。先干了这两杯，我就告诉你。”芸说。

素云饮完两大杯后，芸便跟她讲起我们在沧浪亭谈论茉莉的旧事。

“那么是我错怪了，当再受罚。”素云说，接着又喝完第三杯。

芸说起她久闻素云善歌之名，想听她唱一曲。这事素云自是拿手，她用象牙筷子在一只小碟上敲打节拍而歌。芸欣然畅饮，酩酊而醉，便乘了轿子先回家，而我继续与素云闲聊片刻，然后乘月步行而归。

当时我们住在友人鲁半舫家的萧爽楼里。几日之后，鲁夫人从什么人口中听说了那件事，便悄悄告诉芸说：“你是否知道你丈夫数日前在万年桥偕两名歌伎饮酒之事？”“是啊，我知道，”芸回答说，“其中之一便是我自己。”然后便将在太湖游玩之事详说给她听，鲁夫人大笑自嘲作罢。

假如你爱上一样东西，自会忘记它的丑陋。

If you are in love with a thing, you will forget its ugliness.

乾隆甲寅（1794年）七月，我自粤东归来，同行者徐秀峰，我的一个表妹夫，带了一名妾回家。他很痴迷于她的美貌，叫了芸去观看。芸见过之后，某日对徐秀峰说：“美则美矣，却没什么韵味。”“你的意思是说你丈夫纳妾时，须得既美貌又有韵味的女子？”徐秀峰回问。芸答说那是自然。从那以后，芸便一心为我物色妾室，却短于钱财。

当时有个浙江歌伎名叫温冷香，寓居苏州。她写的四首柳絮诗全城都在谈论，学人们纷纷酬唱应和——按她原来的韵字，原来的形式。我吴江的朋友张闲憨，也是冷香的好友，将她的诗拿来给我看，让我们也和诗作答。芸对她不大赏识，因此不感兴趣。但我很是技痒，便构思了一首，写五月里满天飞舞的柳絮。其中有两行芸非常喜欢：“触我春愁偏婉转，撩他离绪更缠绵。”

第二年八月五日这天，我母亲要携芸一起去游虎丘，张闲憨突然过来。他对我说：“我也要去虎丘。你要不要随我一道去见一个漂亮的歌伎？”我让我母亲先行，说好在虎丘附近的半塘会合。我朋友便拉着我到冷香的寓所。我看见冷香已经是中年，但她有个女儿名叫憨园，是个很甜美的小姑娘，还不到二十。她的眼睛看起来正像是“一泓秋水照人寒”。我跟她聊了聊，知道她颇懂文墨。她还有个妹妹，名字叫文园，年纪尚幼。

人终有一死。我唯一遗憾的是，

我们不得不中途永别，

我不能继续做你的妻子陪你到最后。

我那时尚无结交歌伎之想，全因我知道，作为一介寒士，我负担不起参加这类宴饮的资费。但既然已经来了，我也想尽我所能勉强应付。

“你是想引诱我吗？”我悄悄对闲憨说。

Every one has to die once.

My only regret is,

we have to part half-way from each

other for ever,

and I am not able to be your wife until the end of your days.

“不是，”他回答说，“今日有人邀我到憨园处吃饭以答谢我。碰巧请客的人自己又被一位尊客拉去，我这是代他请客。请不要有什么顾虑！”

我于是释然。到了半塘，遇上我母亲的船。我请憨园过去见过我母亲。芸与憨园相见时，交谈甚是自然，如同旧识，及至后来携手登山，遍览名迹。芸尤其喜欢“千顷云”处的高旷，在那里逗留许久，叹赏不已。返回到“野芳滨”，我们将两船系好，一同畅饮，相与甚欢。

要解船回家时，芸对我说：“你可否去那条船陪你的朋友，留我和憨园在这条船上？”我便依她的意思过去。直至过都亭桥，我才又回到我自己的船上，于此处跟朋友及憨园分别，回家时已是半夜。

“现今我找到既美貌又有韵味的女子了，”芸对我说，“我已请憨园明日过来见我们，我会为你筹划安排。”我吃了一惊。

“你明知我们非富贵之家，哪里养得起那样的女子，更何况我二人婚姻幸福圆满，你何必要寻别的人来呢？”

“可是我喜爱她，”芸笑着说，“你就等着吧。”

第二天下午，憨园果然来了。芸对她很是殷勤，准备了一桌筵席，我们玩射覆猜拳喝酒，但整个席上，没提一句为我促成的话。憨园走后，芸说：“我悄悄与她约好十八日再过来，到时我们要结为姐妹，你可要准备牲牢以待。”她指着她腕上的翡翠玉镯，继续说：“你若看见这镯子戴在憨园手上，便知道她同意了。我已经将此意暗示于她，但我们尚未能如我所愿彻底了解彼此。”我只得由着她去做。

十八日，憨园冒大雨而至。进卧室许久之后，她和芸挽着手出来，看见我时，显得有点害羞，因为镯子已戴在她的手腕。那日烧香起誓之后，芸想再与她一同饮酒。但憨园正好有约要去石湖，便很快离去。

芸笑容满面地过来对我说：“即今丽人已为你找到，你要怎么报答我这媒人呢？”我便询问她详情。

她说：“我只能婉转跟她提起，因我怕她的心另有所属。现在知道并没有别人，我问她：‘你可知我们今日誓约是何意？’她回答说：‘如我能来到您家里我应感荣幸之至，但我的母亲对我期望甚高，我自己做不得主。我们且看着办吧。’给她戴镯子时，我又跟她说：‘玉取其坚硬以为忠贞，而镯子的圆形乃忠诚长久之意。现在请戴上它，作为我们誓约的信物。’她回答说全凭我做决定。看来她自己是愿意的。唯一难的是她的母亲冷香。我们且看看如何转圜。”

“你是要在我们家中上演李笠翁的《怜香伴》吗？”

“正是！”芸回答说。

从那以后，芸便没有一日不提到憨园的名字。最终憨园被强嫁给一个有势力的人，我们的安排便落了空。芸实际上也因了这事而死去。