第3章 INTRODUCTION：Too Much to Do, Too Little Time

Everyone today has too much to do and too little time. You often feel overwhelmed with your duties, tasks, and responsibilities. The challenge for you is to simplify your life in such a way that you spend more time doing the things that are most important to you and less time doing those things that are not important at all.

The best news is that you have the power, right now, to live a life with no regrets, where you feel fully engaged in your relationships and everything you do. You can choose to live a life where each day holds meaning and purpose and brings you joy. You can live a life that is focused, positive, and completely in balance with the person you really are deep inside.

The desire for peace of mind and the idea of living a balanced life are central to your happiness and well-being. When you start to live your life in balance as the very best person you could possibly be, you will enjoy the happiness you deserve and experience harmony among all the elements that make up a successful life for you, as you define it.

Your Balance Point

We are all unique individuals with our own values, vision, purpose, and goals. Each one of us has a different way of achieving true balance. Each person experiences true balance when she is operating at her own unique balance point. It is from your balance point that you experience the highest level of clarity, commitment, strength, and confidence to pursue your ambitions, both personally and professionally.

The key to success in any area is, first, to start from the right place, and second, to know what steps you need to take to get where you want to go.

In karate, this starting point is the ready stance. In ballet, it's first position. In painting, you prime your canvas. In baking, you set the oven. Every area of life has a correct point from which to start.

Finding Your Balance Point

Your greatest need is to understand how to identify your balance point, move to it at will, and automatically return to it whenever you want. You need to establish your balance point before you can set and achieve the goals that are important to you and live a life that is harmonious and truly balanced.

True Balance

True balance is what you experience when everything in your life feels as if it is in perfect harmony. When you enjoy true balance, you feel clear and focused. You go through your day with courage and confidence. You know what you want to accomplish, and you take the necessary steps to accomplish it. Physically, you feel calm and relaxed. You have the health and energy to do whatever you choose to do.

Emotionally, you feel grounded and happy. You feel connected to others and appreciate your own unique self. Your mind, body, and spirit are in perfect alignment. You feel at one with the universe. This is your goal.

The Inner Experience

True balance is something you experience deep inside. It can be achieved only when you are confident with your choices. Once you have identified what enables you to enjoy this feeling of true balance, it is easier to find and easier to maintain.

You are experiencing true balance when you feel inspired and fully engaged in everything you do. Everything you choose to invest your time and energy into has special meaning for you. True balance is never threatened or influenced by the choices of others because it is a state of mind that is unique to each person. Your requirements for true balance will be exactly what you alone want and need.

False Balance

Generally speaking, people are impatient. They want whatever they want, and they want it now, even if they didn't know that they wanted it one minute ago. As a result, they gravitate readily to the quick fix of getting back into balance with as little effort as possible. They can easily be attracted to activities that will bring them a sense of false balance rather than doing those things that are necessary for them to achieve true balance.

In our society, we quickly turn to consumption to feel better. We drink too much, eat too much, and buy too many things we don't need in search of an external means to achieve some form of relief or balance. These false balance options are usually just Band-Aids. They don't really change anything in our lives, except temporarily.

If you take a yoga class, you are not going to suddenly become more flexible. The flexibility you desire will require many weeks and even months of steady work on yourself.

If you spend two weeks on an extreme diet, you may drop a few pounds, but you will seldom achieve your ideal weight. And whatever weight you lose, you will quickly put back on again as you revert to your previous lifestyle.

If you go on a vacation but spend the majority of your time distracted by work and e-mails, you are not going to come home feeling refreshed or reconnected to your loved ones.

Too many people are seeking a magic pill that will solve their problems and help them achieve their goals quickly and easily. We want quick solutions to problems that have taken years to develop, and this is simply not possible.

Beware of Easy Answers

As it happens, numerous experts, coaches, psychologists, and counselors claim that they can help you find peace of mind and balance. Unfortunately, many of their methods are flawed. They don't work for two major reasons. The first reason is that most of the solutions offered by so-called authorities offer only a quick fix. They don't solve the root problem that is causing your unhappiness and imbalance in the first place.

The second flaw in their ideas is that what brings balance in the life of one person will not necessarily work for another.

You are unique. There never has been and never will be anyone exactly like you. You have had a unique set of experiences, starting in early childhood, that has made you the person you are today. You have made different choices and decisions throughout your life, tried different things, made different mistakes, and gone in different directions from anyone else. The person you are today is a sum total result of thousands of small actions, thoughts, feelings, decisions, regrets, and events that, in combination, no one else has ever experienced.

Because you are special and unique, there are no pat answers or simple solutions that you can take out of a box or a book and apply directly to your life to solve your problems and achieve your goals.

Just as with most medicines, any advice or insight that you acquire may have side effects and cause unexpected reactions. You should always keep an open mind when you hear new ideas and then think about which parts of these ideas might apply directly to your own personal situation.

Falling Victim to False Balance

Many people are lured into the trap of false balance because they are unfocused and feel so overwhelmed with being out of balance that they don't even know where to start their quest. They feel as if they are spending their lives treading water and hoping not to sink. They are often stuck in a comfort zone, doing the same things in the same way, and disconnected from the reality of what a balanced life looks and feels like.

Often, they don't like and respect themselves. They lack the confidence to make tough choices and to take the actions necessary to align their lives with what they truly value. They are unclear about what is important to them and what motivates them.

You often see this situation with people who look to others to determine how to achieve their own state of balance. They will compare themselves to someone else and emulate what they see in hopes of achieving what they perceive is balance and happiness. For example, a son who is unclear about his career choice decides to copy his father's choice of career in an attempt to gain his father's approval. He is unclear about what he wants personally, so he imitates his father because that choice is comfortable and safe. His attempt to achieve balance the way his father appears to have achieved his state of balance will result in the son's finding false balance because his career choice will not be a reflection of what he truly values.

When people are in a state of false balance, they feel disengaged and powerless to change the world around them. They often turn to buying things to feel better. They buy things they don't need, spend money they don't have, eat the wrong foods, and turn to alcohol and drugs to feel better. They are desperate to fill the hole inside them and regain some sense of clarity and control in their lives.

Clarity Is the Key to Finding Balance

When people do not feel in control of their lives, they lose focus and lack commitment. Instead of directing their own lives, they react and respond to the behaviors and opinions of others. They end up investing their time and energy in things that don't bring them joy.

For example, a woman who has two young children wants to start a business, but she keeps agreeing to take on volunteer projects at her children's school. As a result, she has no time to work on developing her business. She becomes overwhelmed with all her commitments and does not set aside any time to pursue her own ambitions. She feels out of control-or controlled by the people around her. This robs her of self-confidence. She feels frustrated and unhappy. She finds herself reacting to the needs of others because she is unclear about her own needs and her own direction.

Without clarity, you cannot design a plan, and without a clear plan, there is no way that you can know what specific actions to take and which direction to go. However, when you become clear about and committed to what is important to you, design a plan for your life, and ensure that your life on the outside becomes a reflection of your desired life on the inside, you will begin to operate from your balance point and begin to make tremendous progress in every area of your life.

For you to enjoy the kind of life you have imagined, and to achieve everything that is possible for you, you will probably have to make a series of positive and constructive changes to the way you think, feel, and react to the world around you. The good news is that at any time, you can resolve to make the rest of your life the best of your life. You can make a decision today to become everything you are capable of becoming. You can take complete control of your present and design your ideal future.

In this book, you will learn how to identify, achieve, and maintain your balance point. You will learn how to move smoothly and confidently through life, recognizing when you are out of balance and knowing exactly what you need to do to restore your balance point once more.

Clarifying Your Values

First, you will learn how to identify your values in life and become crystal clear about what is truly important to you. You will learn how to organize your life around your values. You will learn how to set boundaries and insist on living your life in alignment with your values, not compromising them at the request or demand of others.

In addition, you will learn how to create an exciting vision of your ideal life sometime in the future, as well as what you will need to do to make your perfect future life into your current reality.

You will also learn how to infuse your life with meaning and purpose and organize your activities so that you really make a difference in every part of your life.

Setting Goals and Being Proactive

You will learn how to set and achieve your goals and make sure that everything you do on the outside is in harmony with what is most important to you on the inside.

You will also learn to become proactive and choose where you invest your time and energy. Instead of reacting to the circumstances around you and spending your limited time and energy achieving the goals of others, you will focus your energies accomplishing what is most important to you.

Setting Priorities and Managing Your Time

You will learn how to take complete control over your time and your life, how to set priorities, and how to get more done, faster and more easily, than ever before. You will also learn that by setting priorities on your goals and activities, and managing your time effectively, you will both energize and simplify your life.

Operating from Your Balance Point

When you learn how to blend your values, vision, mission, purpose, goals, and priorities into a clear life plan that reflects all the aspects of your unique personality, you will be able to establish and operate from your own unique balance point.

When you operate from your own personal balance point, you will enjoy unshakable self-confidence and self-esteem. You will achieve complete balance between your personal and professional ambitions and know that you are making every day count. When you choose to live your life from your balance point-in harmony with your values, vision, purpose, goals, and priorities-you will be choosing to live a life with no regrets.

Our goal in writing this book is to give you the practical, proven steps that you can take immediately to clarify your priorities, simplify your life, and achieve all your hopes and dreams. Let's get started!