Belief #2
On Resistance and Negative Emotions
RESISTANCE AND EMOTIONAL RESPONSES to change are not bad. They are a signal to pay attention. They are a sign that forces are gathering to shift relationships and move NEW behaviors into the mainstream.
Think of resistance and negative emotions as “persistence energy.” They are stability’s voice crying out to test the value of a change.
Your resistance belief (Belief #2) relates to your “what is normal” belief (Belief #1). It reflects your view of the normalcy of change. When you believe that “stability is normal; change is the exception,” then resistance and negative emotions carry a lot of power. They are a fearsome force: a battle call to protect your ego, to ward off all information and pressures for change, to protect you from annihilation.
However, when you believe that “stability dancing with change is normal,” then resistance is only one voice in an important dialogue. It is neither good nor bad. It says: “Here is what it may be important to preserve.” “Here are capabilities to continue to use.” “Here are strengths I need to leverage.” “Here are essential parts of my identity to look at and bring into the future.” “Here’s a sensitive personal area, so tread softly.”
Your resistance and negative emotions may also be saying: “Develop something new—a new perspective, a new belief, some new capabilities.” “Get rid of some things, clean out your life and your work closet.” “Move away from some old behaviors and beliefs.” “Now is the time to challenge thinking you took for granted as a child.” “Replace old beliefs with something more vital for the future.”
In other words, your resistance and anxiety may be saying, “Now is time for you to take a step into the unknown—to take some risks!!”
For people leading change, resistance from others (including yourself) is a SIGN that something important to people is going on. It is a reminder to respect the strengths and assets that come from the past. Resistance is a call to reframe old qualities and help them serve new purposes. It contains messages about how to design a change so that it can be successful.
“When we shift into more team-focused work, we will lose our high-performing individuals,” the resistance voice says, coming from a “win-lose” belief system.
But there is a lot of good energy under this. The challenge is to create a team environment where performance is highly valued and where people are appreciated and challenged. High-performing individuals can help design it.
If you feel that you are a VICTIM OF CHANGE, resistance and negative emotions are signs to call your will into service—to become really conscious. Resistance is a response to feeling threatened. It usually starts as something subtle and unconscious—a feeling, a loss of energy, a disconnection. The natural reaction is to fight and defend, run away, or freeze and comply. You may even try doing more of what you did successfully in the past, faster, with more vigor. In other words, you’ll act as though change is “abnormal.” All of these reactions can hurt you in the long run.
On the other hand, if you believe that “resistance and negative feelings are useful signals,” you’ll see resistance and emotional reactions as wake-up calls. They are signs to appreciate what has worked in the past. But they are also signs to look with fresh eyes at what’s around you. And they may be signals to open up to doing something 15 new and getting rid of something in you that might be outmoded or dysfunctional.
Of course, resistance and negative emotions can be signs that you need to take a stand against a change. Some changes may be positive in the short term, but have net negative effects in the future. If you feel this is true, then you might decide to resist change.
There is no formula for when to decide to support or resist a change. The important thing is to explore new information and make your choice thoughtfully. Being this open and aware is pretty tough, but it’s the best course of action! To do it, you need to explore resistance and negative emotions and understand them before you act.
What are your “DO” Beliefs about “Resistance and Negative Emotions?”
If you frequently do things like…
React without thinking when something changes around you.
Feel inadequate and stupid when something changes, and then think, “I shouldn’t feel this way.”
Look for ways to manage and control others’ resistance to change.
Keep change and conversations about change on a rational, factual plane, avoiding emotion.
Run away from or fight change without taking time to see its future benefits.
Let your emotions and fears take over and run the show.
Then, your beliefs may be holding you back.
Here are some alternatives…
Acknowledge signs of resistance and negativity in yourself or others, without judging.
Ask, “What’s really at risk here? What is the resistance (mine and/or others’) trying to protect? What’s the long-term benefit of protecting it? If there is none, how can I/we let go of what’s being protected—with respect and dignity for the person or group feeling threatened?”
Ask, “What is this resistance telling us about things we have to do to make this a long-term success?”
Ask, “Is this change creating dilemmas—for me or others—that need to be addressed?”
Then you’ll be positioned for success as things change in the new world of work.
A Senior Executive in a major corporation initially supported a new Performance Management process that would bring more information and participation to everyone. Her “say beliefs” supported initiatives like this. However, as the program began to roll out, it became clear that she had to become more aware of her use of her rank and power. She also had to take time to educate people about the business, to delegate, and to let go. She was used to being in charge and inventing ideas herself (her “do” beliefs). Her resistance was obvious to others, but not to herself. She tightened up control and found many things to criticize in her teams’ and others’ work. When she was challenged, she used rational arguments: “My people aren’t ready.” “They are very dependent.” “They need close supervision.” “Their ideas aren’t what I would do.”
Faced with her control, the people around her went back to “business as usual.” People were once more dependent, and her beliefs became a self-fulfilling prophecy. She had lost an opportunity to “use” her resistance energy. It may have been telling her to help her staff develop self-management skills. Instead, she killed a process that could have helped both her and her staff to grow.
Years ago, I was privileged to work with a master of production technology in my company. He frequently complained about his equipment: “It isn’t fast enough.” “It’s too hard to train people on this.” But when we decided to purchase a new set of equipment, the production head suddenly became the biggest supporter of the old way. He began to tout the strengths of the old equipment—even kept track of its speed and accuracy compared to the new. Eventually, though, he adopted the new technology and became one of its staunchest supporters. But it took some time. “I was disoriented,” he said. “I thought my job was gone. Now I see that my own fears blinded me to this really powerful breakthrough.”
His resistance slowed his acceptance. But his persistence energy—his ability to be committed to a direction—became a strength. He became a strong supporter of the new method once its benefits were clear. AND his concerns helped us adapt the new technology to our special needs.
Executives in a major telecommunications company faced traumatic challenges from new and growing competitors as Internet markets heated up. This changing landscape clearly called for a new, more partnering relationship with the company’s major unions. But most of the executives grew up under a “win-lose” union-management ethic. They’d been trained to win by either “sucking the union dry” or by treating it as a necessary evil. Management also let the union manage the frontline people in the business. Their adversaries on the union side had a similar “win-lose” history and supported the ‘disconnect’ between management and workers. In the meantime, as the entire industry changed, many small companies and some formidable competitors took market share. Global players swarmed into previously protected space. In the midst of a changing landscape, the management-union relationship prevented the company from adopting more modern and participative management methods. Shareholder trust dropped, other companies lured top talent away, and the company launched many painful downsizing programs. Both the company and the union suffered a loss of credibility that may never be restored.
What if either or both management and union had said, “This is a really new era—how can we both win? How can we work together to create a new communications future?” Resistance and fear destroyed an opportunity to move the industry in an entirely new direction. It made it possible for competitors to establish strong roots. And surely, the resistance to change is a key factor in making the company a poor investment bet early in the 21st century.