第5章 吉檀迦利(3)
I keep gazing on the far-away gloom of the sky， and my heart wanders wailing with the restless wind.
19
若是你不说话，我就含忍着，以你的沉默来填满我的心。
我要沉静地等候，像黑夜在星光中无眠，忍耐地低首。
清晨一定会来，黑暗也要消隐，你的声音将划破天空从金泉中下注。
那时你的话语，要在我的每一处鸟巢中生翼发声，你的音乐，要在我林丛繁花中盛开怒放。
If thou speak not I will fll my heart with thy silence and endure it.
I will keep still and wait like the night with starry vigil and its head bent low with patience.
The morning will surely come， the darkness will vanish， and thy voice pour down in golden streams breaking through the sky.
Then thy words will take wing in songs from every one of my birds' nests， and thy melodies will break forth in fowers in all my forest groves.
20
莲花开放的那天，唉，我不自觉地在心魂中飘荡。我的花篮空着，花儿我也没有去理睬。
不时地有一段的幽愁来袭击我，我从梦中惊起，觉得南风里有一阵奇香的芳踪。
这迷茫的温馨，使我想望得心痛，我觉得这仿佛是夏天渴望的气息，寻求圆满。
我那时不晓得它离我是那么近，而且是我的，这完美的温馨，还是在我自己心灵的深处开放。
On the day when the lotus bloomed， alas， my mind was straying， and I knew it not. My basket was empty and the fower remained unheeded.
Only now and again a sadness fell upon me， and I started up from my dream and felt a sweet trace of a strange fragrance in the south wind.
That vague sweetness made my heart ache with longing and it seemed to me that is was the eager breath of the summer seeking for its completion.
I knew not then that it was so near， that it was mine， and that this perfect sweetness had blossomed in the depth of my own heart.
21
我必须撑出我的船去，时光都在岸边挨延消磨了——不堪的我呵！
春天把花开过就告别了，如今落红遍地，我却等待而又流连。
潮声渐喧，河岸的荫滩上黄叶飘落。
你凝望着的是何等的空虚！你不觉得有一阵惊喜和对岸遥远的歌声从天空中一同飘来吗？
I must launch out my boat. The languid hours pass by on the shore— Alas for me！
The spring has done its fowering and taken leave. And now with the burden of faded futile fowers I wait and linger.
The waves have become clamorous， and upon the bank in the shady lane the yellow leaves futter and fall.
What emptiness do you gaze upon！ Do you not feel a thrill passing through the air with the notes of the far-away song foating from the other shore？
22
在七月淫雨的浓阴中，你用秘密的脚步行走，夜一般的轻悄，躲过一切的守望的人。
今天，清晨闭上眼，不理连连呼喊的狂啸的东风，一张厚厚的纱幕遮住永远清醒的碧空。
林野住了歌声，家家闭户。在这冷寂的街上，你是孤独的行人。呵，我唯一的朋友，我最爱的人，我的家门是开着的——不要梦一般地走过吧。
In the deep shadows of the rainy July， with secret steps， thou walk， silent as night， eluding all watchers.
Today the morning has closed its eyes， heedless of the insistent calls of the loud east wind， and a thick veil has been drawn over the ever-wakeful blue sky.
The woodlands have hushed their songs， and doors are all shut at every house. Thou art the solitary wayfarer in this deserted street.Oh my only friend， my best beloved， the gates are open in my house— do not pass by like a dream.
23
在这暴风雨的夜晚，你还在外面游历爱的旅行吗，我的朋友？
天空像失望者在哀号。
我今夜无眠，我不断地开门向黑暗中瞭望，我的朋友！
我什么都看不见，我不知道你要走哪一条路！
是从墨黑的河岸上，是从远远的愁惨的树林边，是穿过昏暗迂回的曲径，你摸索着来到我这里吗，我的朋友？
Art thou abroad on this stormy night on thy journey of love， my friend？
The sky groans like one in despair.
I have no sleep tonight. Ever and again I open my door and look out on the darkness， my friend！
I can see nothing before me. I wonder where lies thy path！
By what dim shore of the ink-black river， by what far edge of the frowning forest， through what mazy depth of gloom art thou threading thy course to come to me， my friend？
24
假如一天已经过去了，鸟儿也不歌唱，假如风也吹倦了，那就用黑暗的厚幕把我盖上吧，如同你在黄昏时节用睡眠的衾被裹上大地，又轻柔地将睡莲的花瓣合上。
旅客的行程未达，粮袋已空，衣裳破裂污损，而又筋疲力尽，你解除了他的羞涩与困窘，使他的生命像花朵一样在仁慈的夜幕下苏醒。
If the day is done， if birds sing no more， if the wind has fagged tired， then draw the veil of darkness thick upon me， even as thou hast wrapt the earth with the coverlet of sleep and tenderly closed the petals of the drooping lotus at dusk.
From the traveller， whose sack of provisions is empty before the voyage is ended， whose garment is torn and dust-laden， whose strength is exhausted， remove shame and poverty， and renew his life like a fower under the cover of thy kindly night.
25
在这困倦的夜里，让我服帖地把自己交给睡眠，把信赖托付给你。
让我不去勉强我萎靡的精神，来准备一个对你敷衍的礼拜。
是你拉上夜幕盖上白日的倦眼，使这眼神在醒觉的清新喜悦中，更新了起来。
In the night of weariness let me give myself up to sleep without struggle， resting my trust upon thee.
Let me not force my flagging spirit into a poor preparation for thy worship.
It is thou who draw the veil of night upon the tired eyes of the day to renew its sight in a fresher gladness of awakening.
26
他来坐在我的身边，而我没有醒来。多么可恨的睡眠，唉，不幸的我呵！
他在静夜中来到，手里拿着琴，我的梦魂和他的音乐起了共鸣。
唉，为什么每夜就这样的虚度了？呵，他的气息接触了我的睡眠，为什么我总看不见他的面？
He came and sat by my side but I woke not. What a cursed sleep it was， O miserable me！
He came when the night was still； he had his harp in his hands， and my dreams became resonant with its melodies.
Alas， why are my nights all thus lost？Ah， why do I ever miss his sight whose breath touches my sleep？
27
灯火，灯火在哪里呢？用熊熊的渴望之火把它点上吧！
灯在这里，却没有一丝火焰，——这是你的命运吗，我的心呵！
你还不如死了好！
悲哀在你门上敲着，她传话说你的主醒着呢，她叫你在夜的黑暗中奔赴爱的约会。
云雾遮满天空，雨也不停地下。我不知道我心里有什么在动荡，——我不懂得它的意义。
一霎的电光，在我的视线上抛下一道更深的黑暗，我的心摸索着，寻找那夜的音乐对我呼唤的路径。
灯火，灯火在哪里呢？用熊熊的渴望之火把它点上吧！雷声在响，狂风怒吼着穿过天空，夜像黑岩一般的黑。不要让时间在黑暗中度过吧，用你的生命把爱的灯点上吧。
Light， oh where is the light？Kindle it with the burning fre of desire！
There is the lamp but never a ficker of a fame— is such thy fate， my heart？
Ah， death were better by far for thee！
Misery knocks at thy door， and her message is that thy lord is wakeful， and her calls thee to the love-tryst through the darkness of night.
The sky is overcast with clouds and the rain is ceaseless. I know not what this is that stirs in me— I know not its meaning.
A moment's fash of lightning drags down a deeper gloom on my sight， and my heart gropes for the path to where the music of the night calls me.
Light， oh where is the light！ Kindle it with the burning fre of desire！ It thunders and the wind rushes screaming through the void. The night is black as a black stone.Let not the hours pass by in the dark.Kindle the lamp of love with thy life.
28
罗网是坚韧的，但是要撕破它的时候我又心痛。
我只要自由，为希望自由我却觉得羞愧。
我确知那无价之宝是在你那里，而且你是我最好的朋友，但我却舍不得清除我满屋的俗物。
我身上披的是尘灰与死亡之衣，我恨它却又热爱地把它抱紧。
我的债务很多，我的失败很大，我的耻辱秘密而又深重；但当我来求福的时候，我又战栗，唯恐我的祈求得了允诺。