第3章 托马斯·哈代(2)
“But I couldn't wear this gown to be married in now!”she replied,ecstatically,“or I shouldn't have put it on and made it dusty.It is really too old-fashioned,and so folded and fretted out,you can't think.That was with my taking it out so many times to look at.I have never put it on-never-till now!”
“Selina,I am thinking of giving up the army.Will you emigrate with me to New Zealand?I've an uncle out there doing well,and he'd soon help me to making a larger income.The English army is glorious,but it ain't altogether enriching.”
“Of course,anywhere that you decide upon.Is it healthy there for Johnny?”
“A lovely climate.And I shall never be happy in England...Aha!”he concluded again,with a bitterness of unexpected strength,“would to Heaven I had come straight back here!”
As the dance brought round one neighbour after another the re-united pair were thrown into juxtaposition with Bob Heartall among the rest who had been called in;one whose chronic expression was that he carried inside him a joke on the point of bursting with its own vastness.He took occasion now to let out a little of its quality,shaking his head at Selina as he addressed her in an undertone――
“This is a bit of a topper to the bridegroom,ho ho!'Twill teach en the liberty you'll expect when you've married en!”
“What does he mean by a'topper,'”the sergeant-major asked,who,not being of local extraction,despised the venerable local language,and also seemed to suppose“bridegroom”to be an anticipatory name for himself.“I only hope I shall never be worse treated than you've treated me tonight!”
Selina looked frightened.“He didn't mean you,dear,”she said as they moved on.“We thought perhaps you knew what had happened,owing to your coming just at this time.Had you-heard anything about-what I intended?”
“Not a breath-how should I-away up in Yorkshire?It was by the merest accident that I came just at this date to make peace with you for my delay.”
“I was engaged to be married to Mr.Bartholomew Miller.That's what it is!I would have let'ee know by letter,but there was no time,only hearing from'ee this afternoon...You won't desert me for it,will you,John?Because,as you know,I quite supposed you dead,and-and-”Her eyes were full of tears of trepidation,and he might have felt a sob heaving within her.
IV
The soldier was silent during two or three double bars of the tune.“When were you to have been married to the said Mr.Bartholomew Miller?”he inquired.
“Quite soon.”
“How soon?”
“Next week-O yes-just the same as it was with you and me.There's a strange fate of interruption hanging over me,I sometimes think!He had bought the licence,which I preferred so that it mightn't be like-ours.But it made no difference to the fate of it.”
“Had bought the licence!The devil!”
“Don't be angry,dear John.I didn't know!”
“No,no,I'm not angry.”
“It was so kind of him,considering!”
“Yes...I see,of course,how natural your action was-never thinking of seeing me any more!Is it the Mr.Miller who is in this dance?”
“Yes.”
Clark glanced round upon Bartholomew and was silent again,for some little while,and she stole a look at him,to find that he seemed changed.“John,you look ill!”she almost sobbed.“'Tisn't me,is it?”
“O dear,no.Though I hadn't,somehow,expected it.I can't find fault with you for a moment-and I don't...This is a deuce of a long dance,don't you think?We've been at it twenty minutes if a second,and the figure doesn't allow one much rest.I'm quite out of breath.”
“They like them so dreadfully long here.Shall we drop out?Or I'll stop the fiddler.”
“O no,no,I think I can finish.But although I look healthy enough I have never been so strong as I formerly was,since that long illness I had in the hospital at Scutari.”
“And I knew nothing about it!”
“You couldn't,dear,as I didn't write.What a fool I have been altogether!”He gave a twitch,as of one in pain.“I won't dance again when this one is over.The fact is I have travelled a long way today,and it seems to have knocked me up a bit.”
There could be no doubt that the sergeant-major was unwell,and Selina made herself miserable by still believing that her story was the cause of his ailment.Suddenly he said in a changed voice,and she perceived that he was paler than ever:“I must sit down.”
Letting go her waist he went quickly to the other room.She followed,and found him in the nearest chair,his face bent down upon his hands and arms,which were resting on the table.
“What's the matter?”said her father,who sat there dozing by the fire.
“John isn't well...We are going to New Zealand when we are married,father.A lovely country!John,would you like something to drink?”
“A drop o'that Schiedam of old Owlett's,that's under stairs,perhaps,”suggested her father.“Not that nowadays'tis much better than licensed liquor.”
“John,”she said,putting her face close to his and pressing his arm.“Will you have a drop of spirits or something?”
He did not reply,and Selina observed that his ear and the side of his face were quite white.Convinced that his illness was serious,a growing dismay seized hold of her.The dance ended;her mother came in,and learning what had happened,looked narrowly at the sergeant-major.
'We must not let him lie like that,lift him up,'she said.'Let him
rest in the window-bench on some cushions.'
They unfolded his arms and hands as they lay clasped upon the table,and on lifting his head found his features to bear the very impress of death itself.Bartholomew Miller,who had now come in,assisted Mr.Paddock to make a comfortable couch in the window-seat,where they stretched out Clark upon his back.
Still he seemed unconscious.“We must get a doctor,”said Selina.“O,my dear John,how is it you be taken like this?”
“My impression is that he's dead!”murmured Mr.Paddock.“He don't breathe enough to move a tomtit's feather.”
There were plenty to volunteer to go for a doctor,but as it would be at least an hour before he could get there the case seemed somewhat hopeless.The dancing-party ended as unceremoniously as it had begun;but the guests lingered round the premises till the doctor should arrive.When he did come the sergeant-major's extremities were already cold,and there was no doubt that death had overtaken him almost at the moment that he had sat down.
The medical practitioner quite refused to accept the unhappy Selina's theory that her revelation had in any way induced Clark's sudden collapse.Both he and the coroner afterwards,who found the immediate cause to be heart-failure,held that such a supposition was unwarranted by facts.They asserted that a long day's journey,a hurried drive,and then an exhausting dance,were sufficient for such a result upon a heart enfeebled by fatty degeneration after the privations of a Crimean winter and other trying experiences,the coincidence of the sad event with any disclosure of hers being a pure accident.
This conclusion,however,did not dislodge Selina's opinion that the shock of her statement had been the immediate stroke which had felled a constitution so undermined.
V
At this date the Casterbridge Barracks were cavalry quarters,their adaptation to artillery having been effected some years later.It had been owing to the fact that the-th Dragoons,in which John Clark had served,happened to be lying there that Selina made his acquaintance.At the time of his death the barracks were occupied by the Scots Greys,but when the pathetic circumstances of the sergeant-major's end became known in the town the officers of the Greys offered the services of their fine reed and brass band,that he might have a funeral marked by due military honours.His body was accordingly removed to the barracks,and carried thence to the churchyard in the Durnover quarter on the following afternoon,one of the Greys'most ancient and docile chargers being blacked up to represent Clark's horse on the occasion.
Everybody pitied Selina,whose story was well known.She followed the corpse as the only mourner,Clark having been without relations in this part of the country,and a communication with his regiment having brought none from a distance.She sat in a little shabby brown-black mourning carriage,squeezing herself up in a corner to be as much as possible out of sight during the slow and dramatic march through the town to the tune from Saul.When the interment had taken place,the volleys been fired,and the return journey begun,it was with something like a shock that she found the military escort to be moving at a quick march to the lively strains of“Off she goes!”as if all care for the sergeant-major was expected to be ended with the late discharge of the carbines.It was,by chance,the very tune to which they had been footing when he died,and unable to bear its notes,she hastily told her driver to drop behind.The band and military party diminished up the High Street,and Selina turned over Swan bridge and homeward to Mellstock.
Then recommenced for her a life whose incidents were precisely of a suit with those which had preceded the soldier's return;but how different in her appreciation of them!Her narrow miss of the recovered respectability they had hoped for from that tardy event worked upon her parents as an irritant,and after the first week or two of her mourning her life with them grew almost insupportable.She had impulsively taken to herself the weeds of a widow,for such she seemed to herself to be,and clothed little Johnny in sables likewise.This assumption of a moral relationship to the deceased,which she asserted to be only not a legal one by two most unexpected accidents,led the old people to indulge in sarcasm at her expense whenever they beheld her attire,though all the while it cost them more pain to utter than it gave her to hear it.Having become accustomed by her residence at home to the business carried on by her father,she surprised them one day by going off with the child to Chalk-Newton,in the direction of the town of Ivell,and opening a miniature fruit and vegetable shop,attending Ivell market with her produce.Her business grew somewhat larger,and it was soon sufficient to enable her to support herself and the boy in comfort.She called herself“Mrs.John Clark”from the day of leaving home,and painted the name on her signboard-no man forbidding her.
By degrees the pain of her state was forgotten in her new circumstances,and getting to be generally accepted as the widow of a sergeant-major of dragoons-an assumption which her modest and mournful demeanour seemed to substantiate-her life became a placid one,her mind being nourished by the melancholy luxury of dreaming what might have been her future in New Zealand with John,if he had only lived to take her there.Her only travels now were a journey to Ivell on market-days,and once a fortnight to the churchyard in which Clark lay,there to tend,with Johnny's assistance,as widows are wont to do,the flowers she had planted upon his grave.
On a day about eighteen months after his unexpected decease,Selina was surprised in her lodging over her little shop by a visit from Bartholomew Miller.He had called on her once or twice before,on which occasions he had used without a word of comment the name by which she was known.
“I've come this time,”he said,“less because I was in this direction than to ask you,Mrs.Clark,what you mid well guess.I've come o'purpose,in short.”
She smiled.
“Tis to ask me again to marry you?”
“Yes,of course.You see,his coming back for'ee proved what I always believed of'ee,though others didn't.There's nobody but would be glad to welcome you to our parish again,now you've showed your independence and acted up to your trust in his promise.Well,my dear,will you come?”
“I'd rather bide as Mrs.Clark,I think,”she answered.“I am not ashamed of my position at all;for I am John's widow in the eyes of Heaven.”
“I quite agree-that's why I've come.Still,you won't like to be always straining at this shop-keeping and market-standing;and'twould be better for Johnny if you had nothing to do but tend him.”
He here touched the only weak spot in Selina's resistance to his proposal-the good of the boy.To promote that there were other men she might have married offhand without loving them if they had asked her to;but though she had known the worthy speaker from her youth,she could not for the moment fancy herself happy as Mrs.Miller.
He paused awhile.“I ought to tell'ee,Mrs.Clark,”he said by and by,“that marrying is getting to be a pressing question with me.Not on my own account at all.The truth is,that mother is growing old,and I am away from home a good deal,so that it is almost necessary there should be another person in the house with her besides me.That's the practical consideration which forces me to think of taking a wife,apart from my wish to take you;and you know there's nobody in the world I care for so much.”
She said something about there being far better women than she,and other natural commonplaces;but assured him she was most grateful to him for feeling what he felt,as indeed she sincerely was.However,Selina would not consent to be the useful third person in his comfortable home-at any rate just then.He went away,after taking tea with her,without discerning much hope for him in her good-bye.
VI
After that evening she saw and heard nothing of him for a great while.Her fortnightly journeys to the sergeant-major's grave were continued,whenever weather did not hinder them;and Mr.Miller must have known,she thought,of this custom of hers.But though the churchyard was not nearly so far from his homestead as was her shop at Chalk-Newton,he never appeared in the accidental way that lovers use.
An explanation was forthcoming in the shape of a letter from her mother,who casually mentioned that Mr.Bartholomew Miller had gone away to the other side of Shottsford-Forum to be married to a thriving dairyman's daughter that he knew there.His chief motive,it was reported,had been less one of love than a wish to provide a companion for his aged mother.
Selina was practical enough to know that she had lost a good and possibly the only opportunity of settling in life after what had happened,and for a moment she regretted her independence.But she became calm on reflection,and to fortify herself in her course started that afternoon to tend the sergeant-major's grave,in which she took the same sober pleasure as at first.
On reaching the churchyard and turning the corner towards the spot as usual,she was surprised to perceive another woman,also apparently a respectable widow,and with a tiny boy by her side,bending over Clark's turf,and spudding up with the point of her umbrella some ivy-roots that Selina had reverently planted there to form an evergreen mantle over the mound.
“What are you digging up my ivy for!”cried Selina,rushing forward so excitedly that Johnny tumbled over a grave with the force of the tug she gave his hand in her sudden start.
“Your ivy?”said the respectable woman.
“Why yes!I planted it there-on my husband's grave.”
“YOUR husband's!”
“Yes.The late Sergeant-Major Clark.Anyhow,as good as my husband,for he was just going to be.”
“Indeed.But who may be my husband,if not he?I am the only Mrs.John Clark,widow of the late Sergeant-Major of Dragoons,and this is his only son and heir.”
“How can that be?”faltered Selina,her throat seeming to stick together as she just began to perceive its possibility.“He had been-going to marry me twice-and we were going to New Zealand.”
“Ah!-I remember about you,”returned the legitimate widow calmly and not unkindly.“You must be Selina;he spoke of you now and then,and said that his relations with you would always be a weight on his conscience.Well;the history of my life with him is soon told.When he came back from the Crimea he became acquainted with me at my home in the north,and we were married within a month of first knowing each other.Unfortunately,after living together a few months,we could not agree;and after a particularly sharp quarrel,
in which,perhaps,I was most in the wrong-as I don't mind owning here by his graveside-he went away from me,declaring he would buy his discharge and emigrate to New Zealand,and never come back to me any more.The next thing I heard was that he had died suddenly at Mellstock at some low carouse;and as he had left me in such anger to live no more with me,I wouldn't come down to his funeral,or do anything in relation to him.'Twas temper,I know,but that was the fact.Even if we had parted friends it would have been a serious expense to travel three hundred miles to get there,for one who wasn't left so very well off...I am sorry I pulled up your ivy-roots;but that common sort of ivy is considered a weed in my part of the country.”
December 1899.
晚到的骑兵
我最近遇到一个令人悲伤的经历(对本故事的真实性负责的先生说)。这便是去检查一座必定要毁掉的房子,很久以来我就熟悉它的外观了——就是说由于年久失修,它下周就要拆除。一些像老蘑菇那种褐色腐朽的栉片的屋顶材料,在我此时查看房子前的确已被弄走。我看见它只是一座小房子——这种房子如今常被叫做“村舍”——位于一个遍远的村里,不到100年的历史(如果有那么长);但我穿过这些空空的屋子,见墙壁四处裂着缝,地板倾斜,不禁想到在这座房里面发生了无数意想不到的家事——只把我所知道的计算在内。无疑还有许多我从未听说过的事情发生在这里。
房子在一座果园顶端,果园延伸至一条穿过麦尔斯托克教区那些“隐士住区”的小巷或街道。在下方的入口处有一扇绿色的门,其上方的荆棘经长期的修剪成为拱形;一条两边长着黄杨的砾石小路向前门攀升,而它以前两边却长着整齐的黑莓、草莓和蔬菜。门上是一种古老发白的绿色,可以用手指擦掉,上面有一个历史悠久的黄铜小门环,其裂缝处覆盖着铜绿。在这座家宅拆除前夕的一些年里它已开始腐朽,被分成两家住户用作农场工人的村舍;不过它在最完好的时期无疑被人们看作是整洁、美观而高雅的。
上面提到的种种事情主要因该房屋使用期的性质所致,当时住在这里的人并非是通常的那种——即经济状况、社会地位或先辈条件多少都比较优越讲究的人。在那些居住者中曾有一个家庭,它的故事就是我所要讲述的——这便是商品果园种植者雅各布·帕多克先生,他与妻子和已长大成人的女儿曾在这里居住了数年。
1
房屋此时显然一阵骚动,使屋前突然传出忙碌的声音,像蜂箱被扰乱了一般。假如这家某人出现在门口,他都是显得心不在焉、忧虑重重的。
夜色开始降临,其他村民们出来打水,他们共同的水井位于帕多克的果园和房子对面的公用道路上。他们分别把水一桶桶吊起来后仍迟迟不走,而是意味深长地交谈着。从其话中任何不经意的人也会听出发出了什么事。
那个住在离故事发生点最近的樵夫讲得最多。原来对面帕多克的女儿塞利娜这天下午意外收到一封她以前的未婚夫寄来的信,他原来是一名下士,而现在成了骑兵的军士长;在收到这封信前,她一直以为他两三年前已战死在“阿尔玛战役”中。
“她不听她老爹的话和那家伙来往,你们知道,那时他还没有升官,”报告消息的人继续说。“倒不是他没你们见到的伦敦这边的人强壮。不过,瞧,雅各布希望她选的人更好些,大家能够理解。可她当时就是一心要跟他,对于发生的事也不应该怎么怪她;他们本来很快就要结婚,战争却突然暴发把一切都给毁了。”
“甚至为了举行婚礼把猪也杀了,”一个妇女说,“也订好了一桶啤酒。唔,那个男人真是很诚实。可他两天后就要到外国去打仗——她父亲说等他回来后再办也是自然的。”
“而他却再没来,”阴影里一人低声说。
“战争结束了,但她那个男人再没出现。她不能肯定他已战死,可她太有自尊,或太胆小,没去找他。”
“她父亲发现情况时原谅了她,一个原因就是,正如他那时说得很清楚的,他喜欢那人,看得出他是认真的。所以老人们就尽可能好地对待无法改正的事,让她留在他们身边,而有些人不会那样做。时间好象证明了他确实是认真的,既然他已给她写信说他就要来了。我认为,假如另一个男人没出现,她会一直等着他。”
“在他向她求婚的时候,”樵夫又说,“军团就驻扎在‘卡斯特桥军营’,他去她父亲的果园里买1便士那边树上早熟的果子,他们就认识了——不过人们说他从树篱那边既看到苹果又看到了她。他说他太喜欢那种苹果了,每天都要去买1便士,直到树上的果子都没有了。最后他就来找她了。”
“他们没有马上结婚真是一千个遗憾。”
“哦,迟办总比不办好,如果他现在也愿意娶她。可是,老天爷,他一直没有回来,使她失去了信心,认为他已经死啦,就像墓地里埋着的死人一样。不然她是决不会想到另一个人的——唉,决不会!”
“这下她可很不好办呀。”
“她还没有与另一个男人结婚。不过她肯定下周就会结的,甚至结婚证都得到了,他们说,由于第一次那么不幸,所以这次她不在教堂宣布结婚预告。”
“也许军士长会认为他的责任解除了,像他来时一样离开。”
“啊,我可不那么想。军人们是很讲究的,再说她仍然是一件相当不错的家具呢。她将会嫁给她的大兵,与那个老练的车匠一刀两断,管它有没有结婚证——她不那样做我才会吃惊的。”
在他们这样随意猜测时阴影里出现了另一个邻居。她向井边的人们点头,大家回答“晚安,斯托夫人,”然后她就穿过帕多克先生家的大门朝他的房门走去。她是他家的一个密友,井旁的人们一直看着她沿路走去,经过一扇扇窗户,里面现在已点上蜡烛。