第31章
"Ah,Nance,"I cried to myself with a sob--I had pretended to take it lightly enough when he was here,but now--"if you had heard of a girl who,like yourself this evening,unexpectedly met two men she had known,and the good man ignored her and the bad one followed her--oh,Nancy--what sort of girl would you think she was at heart?What sort of hope could you imagine her treasuring for her own future?And what sort of significance would you attach to--"And just then the bell rang again.
This time I was sure it was you.And,O Maggie,I ran to the door eager for the touch of your hand and the look in your eyes.I was afraid to be alone with my own thoughts.I was afraid of the conclusion to which they were leading me.Maggie,if ever a girl needed comfort and encouragement and heartening,I did then.
And I got it,dear.
For there was a man at the door,with a great basket of azaleas--pale,pink earth-stars they are,the sweet,innocent things--and a letter for me.Here it is.Let me read it to you.
"My dear Miss Omar:
Once on a time there was a Luckless Pot,marred in the making,that had the luck to be of service to a Pipkin.
It was a saucy Pipkin,though a very winning one,and it had all the health and strength the poor Pot lacked--physically.
Morally--morally,that young Pipkin was in a most unwholesome condition.Already its fair,smooth surface was scratched and fouled.It was unmindful of the treasure of good it contained,and its responsibility to keep that good intact.And it seemed destined to crash itself to pieces among pots of baser metal.
What the Luckless Pot did was little--being ignorant of the art by which diamonds may be attained easily and honestly--but it gave the little Pipkin a chance.
What the Pipkin did with that chance the Pot learned to-night,with such pleasure and satisfaction as made it impossible for him not to share it with her.So while he sent Burnett out to the conservatory to cut azaleas,he wrote her a note to try to convey to her what he felt when,in that nicely polished,neatly decorated and self-respecting Vessel on exhibition in Mrs.Gates'red room,he recognized the poor little Pipkin of other days.
The Pot,as you know,was a sort of stranded bit of clay that had never filled the use for which pots are created.He had little human to interest him.The fate of the Pipkin,therefore,he had often pondered on;and,in spite of improbabilities,had had faith in a certain quality of brave sincerity the little thing showed;a quality that shone through acquired faults like a star in a murky sky.
This justification of his faith in the Pipkin may seem a small matter to make so much of.And yet the Pot--that sleeps not well o'nights,as is the case with damaged pots--will take to bed with him to-night a pretty,pleasant thought due just to this.
But do not think the Pot an idealist.If he were,he might have been tempted to mistake the Pipkin for a statelier,more pretentious Vessel--a Vase,say,all graceful curves and embossed sides,but shallow,perhaps,possibly lacking breadth.No,the Pipkin is a pipkin,made of common clay--even though it has the uncommon sweetness and strength to overcome the tendencies of clay--and fashioned for those common uses of life,deprivation of which to anything that comes from the Potter's hands is the most enduring,the most uncommon sorrow.
O pretty little Pipkin,thank the Potter,who made you as you are,as you will be--a thing that can cheer and stay men's souls by ministering to the human needs of them.For you,be sure,the Potter's `a good fellow and 'twill all be well.'
For the Pot--he sails shortly,or rather,he is to be carted abroad by some optimistic friends whose hopes he does not share--to a celebrated repair shop for damaged pots.Whether he shall return,patched and mended into temporary semblance of a useful Vessel;whether he shall continue to be merely the same old Luckless Pot,or whether he shall return at all,O Pipkin,does not matter much.
But it has been well that,before we two behind the veil had passed,we met again,and you left me such a fragrant memory.
LATIMER."
O Maggie,Maggie,some day I hope to see that man and tell him how sorely the Pipkin needed the Pot's letter!
It's all come so quick,Maggie,and it was over so soon that Ihardly remember the beginning.
Nobody on earth could have expected it less than I,when I came off in the afternoon.I don't know what I was thinking of as Icame into my dressing-room,that used to be Gray's--the sight of him seemed to cut me off from myself as with a knife--but it wasn't of him.
It may have been that I was chuckling to myself at the thought of Nancy Olden with a dressing-room all to herself.I can't ever quite get used to that,you know,though I sail around there with all the airs of the leading lady.Sometimes I see a twinkle in Fred Obermuller's eye when I catch him watching me,and goodness knows he's been glum enough of late,but it wasn't--Yes,I'm going to tell you,but--it's rattled me a bit,Maggie.
I'm so--so sorry,and a little--oh,just a little,little bit glad!
I'd slammed the door behind me--the old place is out of repair and the door won't shut except with a bang--and I had just squatted down on the floor to unbutton my high shoes,when Inoticed the chintz curtains in front of the high dressing-box waver.They must have moved just like that when I was behind them months--it seems years--ago.But,you see,Topham had never served an apprenticeship behind curtains,so he didn't suspect.
"Lordy,Nancy,"I laughed to myself,"some one thinks you've got a rose diamond and--"nd at that moment he parted the curtains and came out.
Yes--Tom--Tom Dorgan.
My heart came beating up to my throat and then,just as I thought I should choke,it slid down to my boots,sickening me.I didn't say a word.I sat there,my foot in my lap,staring at him.