第74章 A FEW CRUSTED CHARACTERS(19)

'Early in the morning,while the tall young farmer was still asleep (I tell the story as 'twas told me),honest Georgy crept out of his bed by stealth,and dressed himself in the farmer's clothes,in the pockets of the said clothes being the farmer's money.Now though Georgy particularly wanted the farmer's nice clothes and nice horse,owing to a little transaction at the fair which made it desirable that he should not be too easily recognized,his desires had their bounds:he did not wish to take his young friend's money,at any rate more of it than was necessary for paying his bill.This he abstracted,and leaving the farmer's purse containing the rest on the bedroom table,went downstairs.The inn folks had not particularly noticed the faces of their customers,and the one or two who were up at this hour had no thought but that Georgy was the farmer;so when he had paid the bill very liberally,and said he must be off,no objection was made to his getting the farmer's horse saddled for himself;and he rode away upon it as if it were his own.

'About half an hour after the young farmer awoke,and looking across the room saw that his friend Georgy had gone away in clothes which didn't belong to him,and had kindly left for himself the seedy ones worn by Georgy.At this he sat up in a deep thought for some time,instead of hastening to give an alarm."The money,the money is gone,"he said to himself,"and that's bad.But so are the clothes."'He then looked upon the table and saw that the money,or most of it,had been left behind.

"Ha,ha,ha!"he cried,and began to dance about the room."Ha,ha,ha!"he said again,and made beautiful smiles to himself in the shaving glass and in the brass candlestick;and then swung about his arms for all the world as if he were going through the sword exercise.

'When he had dressed himself in Georgy's clothes and gone downstairs,he did not seem to mind at all that they took him for the other;and even when he saw that he had been left a bad horse for a good one,he was not inclined to cry out.They told him his friend had paid the bill,at which he seemed much pleased,and without waiting for breakfast he mounted Georgy's horse and rode away likewise,choosing the nearest by-lane in preference to the high-road,without knowing that Georgy had chosen that by-lane also.

'He had not trotted more than two miles in the personal character of Georgy Crookhill when,suddenly rounding a bend that the lane made thereabout,he came upon a man struggling in the hands of two village constables.It was his friend Georgy,the borrower of his clothes and horse.But so far was the young farmer from showing any alacrity in rushing forward to claim his property that he would have turned the poor beast he rode into the wood adjoining,if he had not been already perceived.

"Help,help,help!"cried the constables."Assistance in the name of the Crown!"'The young farmer could do nothing but ride forward."What's the matter?"he inquired,as coolly as he could.

"A deserter--a deserter!"said they."One who's to be tried by court-martial and shot without parley.He deserted from the Dragoons at Cheltenham some days ago,and was tracked;but the search-party can't find him anywhere,and we told 'em if we met him we'd hand him on to 'em forthwith.The day after he left the barracks the rascal met a respectable farmer and made him drunk at an inn,and told him what a fine soldier he would make,and coaxed him to change clothes,to see how well a military uniform would become him.This the simple farmer did;when our deserter said that for a joke he would leave the room and go to the landlady,to see if she would know him in that dress.He never came back,and Farmer Jollice found himself in soldier's clothes,the money in his pockets gone,and,when he got to the stable,his horse gone too.""A scoundrel!"says the young man in Georgy's clothes."And is this the wretched caitiff?"(pointing to Georgy).

"No,no!"cries Georgy,as innocent as a babe of this matter of the soldier's desertion."He's the man!He was wearing Farmer Jollice's suit o'clothes,and he slept in the same room wi'me,and brought up the subject of changing clothes,which put it into my head to dress myself in his suit before he was awake.He's got on mine!""D'ye hear the villain?"groans the tall young man to the constables."Trying to get out of his crime by charging the first innocent man with it that he sees!No,master soldier--that won't do!""No,no!That won't do!"the constables chimed in."To have the impudence to say such as that,when we caught him in the act almost!

But,thank God,we've got the handcuffs on him at last.""We have,thank God,"said the tall young man."Well,I must move on.Good luck to ye with your prisoner!"And off he went,as fast as his poor jade would carry him.

'The constables then,with Georgy handcuffed between 'em,and leading the horse,marched off in the other direction,toward the village where they had been accosted by the escort of soldiers sent to bring the deserter back,Georgy groaning:"I shall be shot,I shall be shot!"They had not gone more than a mile before they met them.

"Hoi,there!"says the head constable.

"Hoi,yerself!"says the corporal in charge.

"We've got your man,"says the constable.

"Where?"says the corporal.

"Here,between us,"said the constable."Only you don't recognize him out o'uniform."'The corporal looked at Georgy hard enough;then shook his head and said he was not the absconder.