第29章 PART I(28)

"My father declares that I have degraded his noble blood by marrying a medical man.He forbade my mother to attend the ceremony.Poor simple soul!She asked me if I loved my young doctor,and was quite satisfied when I said Yes.As for my father's objections,my husband is a man of high promise in his profession.In his country--I think I told you in my last letter that he was a Frenchman--a famous physician is ennobled by the State.I shall leave no stone unturned,my dear,to push my husband forward.And when he is made a Baron,we shall see what my father will say to us then."_Number II._1810.--"We have removed,my Julie,to this detestably dull old German town,for no earthly reason but that the University is famous as a medical school.

"My husband informs me,in his sweetest manner,that he will hesitate at no sacrifice of our ordinary comforts to increase his professional knowledge.If you could see how the ladies dress in this lost hole of a place,if you could hear the twaddle they talk,you would pity me.I have but one consolation--a lovely baby,Julie,a girl:I had almost said an angel.Were you as fond of your first child,I wonder,as I am of mine?

And did you utterly forget your husband,when the little darling was first put into your arms?Write and tell me."_Number III._1811.--"I have hardly patience to take up my pen But Ishall do something desperate,if I don't relieve my overburdened mind in some way.

"After I wrote to you last year,I succeeded in getting my husband away from the detestable University.But he persisted in hanging about Germany,and conferring with moldy old doctors (whom he calls "Princes of Science"!)instead of returning to Paris,taking a handsome house,and making his way to the top of the tree with my help.I am the very woman to give brilliant parties,and to push my husband's interests with powerful people of all degrees.No;I really must not dwell on it.When Ithink of what has happened since,it will drive me mad.

"Six weeks ago,a sort of medical congress was announced to be at the University.Something in the proposed discussion was to be made the subject of a prize-essay.The doctor's professional interest in this matter decided him on trying for the prize--and the result is our return to the hateful old town and its society.

"Of course,my husband resumes his professional studies;of course,I am thrown once more among the dowdy gossiping women.But that is far from being the worst of it.Among the people in the School of Chemistry here,there is a new man,who entered the University shortly after we left it last year.This devil--it is the only right word for him--has bewitched my weak husband;and,for all I can see to the contrary,has ruined our prospects in life.

"He is a Hungarian.Small,dirty,lean as a skeleton,with hands like claws,eyes like a wild beast's,and the most hideously false smile you ever saw in a human face.What his history is,nobody knows.The people at the medical school call him the most extraordinary experimental chemist living.His ideas astonish the Professors themselves.The students have named him 'The new Paracelsus.'

"I ventured to ask him,one day,if he believed he could make gold.He looked at me with his frightful grin,and said,"Yes,and diamonds too,with time and money to help me."He not only believes in The Philosopher's Stone;he says he is on the trace of some explosive compound so terrifically destructive in its effect,that it will make war impossible.He declares that he will annihilate time and space by means of electricity;and that he will develop steam as a motive power,until travelers can rush over the whole habitable globe at the rate of a mile in a minute.

"Why do I trouble you with these ravings?My dear,this boastful adventurer has made himself master of my husband,has talked him out of his senses,has reduced my influence over him to nothing.Do you think Iam exaggerating?Hear how it has ended.My husband absolutely refuses to leave this place.He cares no longer even to try for the prize.The idea of medical practice has become distasteful to him,and he has decided on devoting his life to discovery in chemical science.

"And this is the man whom I married with the sincerest belief in the brilliant social career that was before him!For this contemptible creature I have sacrificed my position in the world,and alienated my father from me for ever.I may look forward to being the wife of a poor Professor,who shows experiments to stupid lads in a school.And the friends in Paris,who,to my certain knowledge,are now waiting to give him introductions to the Imperial Court itself,may transfer their services to some other man.

"No words can tell you what I feel at this complete collapse of all my hopes and plans.The one consideration of my child is all that restrains me from leaving my husband,never to see him again.As it is,I must live a life of deceit,and feign respect and regard for a man whom I despise with my whole heart.

"Power--oh,if I had the power to make the fury that consumes me felt!

The curse of our sex is its helplessness.Every day,Julie,the conviction grows on me that I shall end badly.Who among us knows the capacity for wickedness that lies dormant in our natures,until the fatal event comes and calls it forth?

"No!I am letting you see too much of my tortured soul.Let me close my letter,and play with my child."_Number IV._1812.--"My heartfelt congratulations,dearest,on your return to Germany,after your pleasant visit to the United States.And more congratulations yet on the large addition to your income,due to your husband's intelligence and spirit of enterprise on American ground.

Ah,you have married a Man!Happy woman!I am married to a Machine.