第50章 Disintegration(7)

Having passed through many stages with the guidance, sympathy, and encouragement of Boehler, Wesley at last found the assurance of salvation he had sought for so many years, and three weeks after Boehler left London, he records that at a meeting of their society "I felt I did trust in Christ, Christ alone for salvation, and an assurance was given me that he had taken away my sins, even mine, and saved me from the law of sin and death." A few days previously his brother Charles had made the same happy experience, and this gave to their religious life the warmth and fervor which, added to the zeal, industry and enthusiasm that had always characterized them, made their labors of so much value to England, and founded the denomination which has grown so rapidly in America, still bearing the name once given in derision to the little group of Oxford "Methodists".

But Wesley's mind was not one of those which can rest contentedly upon one vital truth, he must needs run the whole gamut of emotion, and resolve every point raised by himself or others into a definite negative or affirmative in his own life.

Once settled in a position to his entire satisfaction, he was as immovable as a mountain, and this was at once the source of his power and his weakness, for thousands gladly followed the resolute man, and found their own salvation therein, while on the other hand the will which would never bend clashed hopelessly with those who wished sometimes to take their turn in leading.

So he became an outcast from the Church of England, alienated from Ingham, Whitefield, and other friends of his youth, estranged from the Moravians, even while he was one of the greatest religious leaders England has ever produced.

At the time of Toeltschig's sojourn in London, however, he was in the early, troubled stage of his experience, rejoicing in what he had attained through Boehler's influence, but beset with doubts and fears.And so, as he records in his Journal, he determined "to retire for a short time into Germany, where he hoped the conversing with those holy men who were themselves living witnesses of the full power of faith, and yet able to bear with those that are weak, would be a means, under God, of so establishing his soul, that he might go on from faith to faith, and from strength to strength."Ingham, meanwhile, informed of Toeltschig's arrival in London, had hastened "over one hundred and forty miles" to see his friend, a fact that seems to have touched Toeltschig deeply, and arranged to go with him to Herrnhut, as they had often planned while still in Georgia.John Wesley joined them, and the three young men sailed on June 24th, landing at Rotterdam two days later.

Wesley's Journal does not mention Toeltschig by name, but on leaving Rotterdam he says, "we were eight in all, five English and three Germans," and there is no doubt that Toeltschig went with them to Marienborn to report to Count Zinzendorf, who was living there during his temporary exile from Herrnhut.

In Rotterdam, Dr.Koker showed the party much kindness, while at Baron von Watteville's in Ysselstein, they were received "as at home".At Amsterdam, they joined in the meeting of the "societies"established under Moravian influences, and from there proceeded to Cologne, and up the Rhine to Frankfort.Having neglected to supply themselves with passports, they experienced much difficulty whenever they reached a walled city, sometimes being refused admittance altogether, and at other times being allowed to enter only after much delay, which caused Wesley to "greatly wonder that common sense and common humanity do not put an end to this senseless, inhuman usage of strangers."When any of their number had an acquaintance in the city to which they had come they sent in a note to him, and he would arrange for their entrance, and at Frankfort they applied to Peter Boehler's father, who entertained them "in the most friendly manner."On Tuesday, July 15th, they reached Marienborn, where Wesley remained for fifteen days, and Ingham for about seven weeks.

From Marienborn, Wesley went to Herrnhut, stopping at Erfurt, Weimar, Jena, Halle, Leipsig and Dresden on the way.He remained at Herrnhut twelve days, and then returned by the same route to Marienborn, and to England.

This trip to Germany has been given as the beginning of the breach between Wesley and the Moravians, but it is doubtful whether such was really the case.In the "Memoirs of James Hutton"it is stated that Wesley was offended because Ingham was admitted to the Communion at Marienborn, while permission was refused him, and that he secretly brooded over the injury, but Wesley himself does not mention the occurrence, and refers to Marienborn as a place where he met what he "sought for, viz.: living proofs of the power of faith,"and where he stayed twelve days longer than he at first intended.

The tone of his account of Herrnhut is also distinctly friendly, though he did not unreservedly accept two or three theological statements made to him, but the long conversations he records prove his joy at finding sympathy, and confirmation of what he wanted to believe concerning justification by faith, and the fact that a weak faith was still a real faith, and as such should be cherished and strengthened, not despised.He could not have been greatly influenced against the Moravians by his visit to Halle, for each time he stayed but one night, and on the first occasion Professor Francke was not at home, nor were their arguments new to him, that they should have impressed him deeply.

It frequently happens that when a controversy has arisen between friends, both parties look backward and read into former words and deeds a meaning they did not have at the time they transpired, and most probably this is what has happened in regard to the trip to Germany and its effect on Wesley.