第32章 THE BANQUET(8)
"Do you not know, Eucrites, that women make little gardens on the terraces, in which they plant boughs in clay pots in honour of the lover of Venus? These boughs flourish a little time, and then fade.""What does that signify, Nicias? That it is foolish to attach importance to that which fades?""If beauty is but a shadow, desire is but a lightning flash.What madness it is, then, to desire beauty! Is it not rational, on the contrary, that that which passes should go with that which does not endure, and that the lightning should devour the gliding shadow?""Nicias, you seem to me like a child playing at knuckle-bones.Take my advice--be free! By liberty only can you become a man.""How can a man be free, Eucrites, when he has a body?""You shall see presently, my son.Presently you will say, 'Eucrites was free.' "The old man spoke, leaning against a porphyry pillar, his face lighted by the first rays of dawn.Hermodorus and Marcus had approached, and stood before him by the side of Nicias; and all four, regardless of the laughter and cries of the drinkers, conversed on things divine.
Eucrites expresses himself so wisely and eloquently, that Marcus said--"You are worthy to know the true God."
Eucrites replied--
"The true God is in the heart of the wise man."Then they spoke of death.
"I wish," said Eucrites, "that it may find me occupied in correcting my faults, and attentive to all my duties.In the face of death I will raise my pure hands to heaven, and I will say to the gods, 'Your images, gods, that you have placed in the temple of my soul, I have not profaned; I have hung there my thoughts, as well as garlands, fillets, and wreaths.I have lived according to your providence.Ihave lived enough.' "
Thus speaking, he raised his arms to heaven, and he remained thoughtful a moment.Then he continued, with extreme joy--"Separate thyself from life, Eucrites, like the ripe olive which falls; returning thanks to the tree which bore thee, and blessing the earth, thy nurse."At these words, drawing from the folds of his robe a naked dagger, he plunged it into his breast.
Those who listened to him sprang forward to seize his hand, but the steel point had already penetrated the heart of the sage.Eucrites had already entered into his rest.Hermodorus and Nicias bore the pale and bleeding body to one of the couches, amidst the shrill shrieks of the women, the grunts of the guests disturbed in their sleep, and the heavy breathing of the couples hidden in the shadow of the tapestry.
Cotta, an old soldier, who slept lightly, woke, approached the corpse, examined the wound, and cried--"Call Aristaeus, my physician!"
Nicias shook his head.
"Eucrites is no more," he said."He wished to die as others wish to love.He has, like all of us, obeyed his inexpressible desire.And, lo, now he is like unto the gods, who desire nothing."Cotta struck his forehead.
"Die! To want to die when he might still serve the State! What nonsense!"Paphnutius and Thais remained motionless and mute, side by side, their souls overflowing with disgust, horror, and hope.
Suddenly the monk seized the hand of the actress, and stepping over the drunkards, who had fallen close to the lascivious couples, and treading in the wine and blood spilt upon the floor, he led her out of the house.
The sun had risen over the city.Long colonnades stretched on both sides of the deserted street, and at the end shone the dome of Alexander's tomb.Here and there on the pavement lay broken wreaths and extinguished torches.Fresh wafts of the sea could be felt in the air.Paphnutius, with a look of disgust, tore off his rich robe and trampled the fragments under his feet.
"Thou hast heard them, my Thais!" he cried."They have spat forth every sort of folly and abomination.They dragged the Divine Creator of all things down the gemonies[*] of the devils of hell, impudently denied the existence of Good and Evil, blasphemed Jesus, and exalted Judas.And the most infamous of all, the jackal of darkness, the stinking beast, the Arian full of corruption and death, opened his mouth like a yawning sepulchre.My Thais, thou hast seen these filthy snails crawling towards thee and defiling thee with their sticky sweat; thou hast seen others, like brutes, sleeping under the heels of their slaves; thou hast seen them coupling like beasts on the carpet they had fouled with their vomit; thou hast seen a foolish old man shed a blood yet viler than the wine which flowed at his debauch, and at the end of the orgie throw himself in the face of the unforeseen Christ.Praise be to God! Thou hast seen error and recognised how hideous it was.Thais, Thais, Thais, recall to mind the follies of these philosophers, and say if thou wilt go mad with them! Remember the looks, the gestures, the laughs of their fitting companions, those two lascivious and malicious strumpets, and say if thou wilt remain like unto them."[*] Steps on the Aventine Hill, leading to the Tiber, to which the bodies of executed criminals were dragged to be thrown into the river.The word is now obsolete, but was employed by Ben Jonson (Sejanus) and Massinger (The Roman Actor).--TRANS.
Thais, her heart stirred with horror and disgust at all she had seen and heard that night, and feeling the indifference and brutality, the malicious jealousy of women, the heavy weight of useless hours, sighed.
"I am weary to death, O my father! Where shall I find rest? I feel that my face is burning, my head empty, and my arms are so tired that I should not have the strength to seize happiness were it within reach of my hand."Paphnutius gazed at her with loving pity.