第32章 The Gift Reversed(8)
"One Christmas morning," pursued the old man, "that you come here with her - and it began to snow, and my wife invited the lady to walk in, and sit by the fire that is always a burning on Christmas Day in what used to be, before our ten poor gentlemen commuted, our great Dinner Hall. I was there; and I recollect, as I was stirring up the blaze for the young lady to warm her pretty feet by, she read the scroll out loud, that is underneath that pictur, 'Lord, keep my memory green!' She and my poor wife fell a talking about it; and it's a strange thing to think of, now, that they both said (both being so unlike to die) that it was a good prayer, and that it was one they would put up very earnestly, if they were called away young, with reference to those who were dearest to them. 'My brother,' says the young lady - 'My husband,' says my poor wife. -'Lord, keep his memory of me, green, and do not let me be forgotten!'"Tears more painful, and more bitter than he had ever shed in all his life, coursed down Redlaw's face. Philip, fully occupied in recalling his story, had not observed him until now, nor Milly's anxiety that he should not proceed.
"Philip!" said Redlaw, laying his hand upon his arm, "I am a stricken man, on whom the hand of Providence has fallen heavily, although deservedly. You speak to me, my friend, of what I cannot follow; my memory is gone.""Merciful power!" cried the old man.
"I have lost my memory of sorrow, wrong, and trouble," said the Chemist, "and with that I have lost all man would remember!"To see old Philip's pity for him, to see him wheel his own great chair for him to rest in, and look down upon him with a solemn sense of his bereavement, was to know, in some degree, how precious to old age such recollections are. The boy came running in, and ran to Milly.
"Here's the man," he said, "in the other room. I don't want HIM.""What man does he mean?" asked Mr. William.
"Hush!" said Milly. Obedient to a sign from her, he and his old father softly withdrew. As they went out, unnoticed, Redlaw beckoned to the boy to come to him.
"I like the woman best," he answered, holding to her skirts.
"You are right," said Redlaw, with a faint smile. "But you needn't fear to come to me. I am gentler than I was. Of all the world, to you, poor child!"The boy still held back at first, but yielding little by little to her urging, he consented to approach, and even to sit down at his feet. As Redlaw laid his hand upon the shoulder of the child, looking on him with compassion and a fellow-feeling, he put out his other hand to Milly. She stooped down on that side of him, so that she could look into his face, and after silence, said:
"Mr. Redlaw, may I speak to you?"
"Yes," he answered, fixing his eyes upon her. "Your voice and music are the same to me.""May I ask you something?"
"What you will."
"Do you remember what I said, when I knocked at your door last night? About one who was your friend once, and who stood on the verge of destruction?""Yes. I remember," he said, with some hesitation.
"Do you understand it?" He smoothed the boy's hair - looking at her fixedly the while, and shook his head.
"This person," said Milly, in her clear, soft voice, which her mild eyes, looking at him, made clearer and softer, "I found soon afterwards. I went back to the house, and, with Heaven's help, traced him. I was not too soon. A very little and I should have been too late."He took his hand from the boy, and laying it on the back of that hand of hers, whose timid and yet earnest touch addressed him no less appealingly than her voice and eyes, looked more intently on her.
"He IS the father of Mr. Edmund, the young gentleman we saw just now. His real name is Longford. - You recollect the name?""I recollect the name."
"And the man?"
"No, not the man. Did he ever wrong me?"
"Yes!"
"Ah! Then it's hopeless - hopeless." He shook his head, and softly beat upon the hand he held, as though mutely asking her commiseration.
"I did not go to Mr. Edmund last night," said Milly, - "You will listen to me just the same as if you did remember all?""To every syllable you say."
"Both, because I did not know, then, that this really was his father, and because I was fearful of the effect of such intelligence upon him, after his illness, if it should be. Since Ihave known who this person is, I have not gone either; but that is for another reason. He has long been separated from his wife and son - has been a stranger to his home almost from this son's infancy, I learn from him - and has abandoned and deserted what he should have held most dear. In all that time he has been falling from the state of a gentleman, more and more, until - " she rose up, hastily, and going out for a moment, returned, accompanied by the wreck that Redlaw had beheld last night.
"Do you know me?" asked the Chemist.
"I should be glad," returned the other, "and that is an unwonted word for me to use, if I could answer no."The Chemist looked at the man, standing in self-abasement and degradation before him, and would have looked longer, in an ineffectual struggle for enlightenment, but that Milly resumed her late position by his side, and attracted his attentive gaze to her own face.
"See how low he is sunk, how lost he is!" she whispered, stretching out her arm towards him, without looking from the Chemist's face.
"If you could remember all that is connected with him, do you not think it would move your pity to reflect that one you ever loved (do not let us mind how long ago, or in what belief that he has forfeited), should come to this?""I hope it would," he answered. "I believe it would."His eyes wandered to the figure standing near the door, but came back speedily to her, on whom he gazed intently, as if he strove to learn some lesson from every tone of her voice, and every beam of her eyes.
"I have no learning, and you have much," said Milly; "I am not used to think, and you are always thinking. May I tell you why it seems to me a good thing for us, to remember wrong that has been done us?""Yes."
"That we may forgive it."