第65章 CHAPTER XV(6)
"Let me away," he said. "Let me not see them. I am a lost man."And so his brother brought him home, shaken in spirit and exhausted in body with his long fast and his overpowering emotion. All night through his brother watched with him alone, for Macdonald Dubh would have no one else to see him, till, from utter exhaustion, toward the dawning of the day, he fell asleep.
In the early morning the minister and his wife drove over to see him, and leaving his wife with Kirsty, the minister passed at once into Macdonald Dubh's room. But, in spite of all his reasoning, in spite of all his readings and his prayers, the gloom remained unbroken except by occasional paroxysms of fear and remorse.
"There is no forgiveness! There is no forgiveness!" was the burden of his cry.
In vain the minister proclaimed to him the mercy of God. At length he was forced to leave him to attend the "Question Meeting" which was to be held in the church that day. But he left his wife behind him.
Without a word, Mrs. Murray proceeded to make the poor man comfortable. She prepared a dainty breakfast and carried it in to him, and then she sat beside him while he fell into a deep sleep.
It was afternoon when Macdonald Dubh awoke and greeted her with his wonted grave courtesy.
"You are better, Mr. Macdonald," she said, brightly. "And now Iwill make you a fresh cup of tea"; and though he protested, she hurried out, and in a few moments brought him some tea and toast.
Then, while he lay in gloomy silence, she read to him, as she did once before from his Gaelic psalm book, without a word of comment.
And then she began to tell him of all the hopes she had cherished in connection with the opening of the new church, and how that day she had felt at last the blessing had come.
"And, O, Mr. Macdonald," she said, "I was glad to hear you cry, for then I knew that the Spirit of God was among us.""Glad!" said Macdonald Dubh, faintly.
"Yes, glad. For a cry like that never comes but when the Spirit of God moves in the heart of a man.""Indeed, I will be thinking that He has cast me off forever," he said, wondering at this new phase of the subject.
"Then you must thank Him, Mr. Macdonald, that He has not so done;and the sure proof to you is that He has brought you to cry for mercy. That is a glad cry, in the ears of the Saviour. It is the cry of the sheep in the wilderness, that discovers him to the shepherd." And then, without argument, she took him into her confidence and poured out to him all her hopes and fears for the young people of the congregation, and especially for Ranald, till Macdonald Dubh partly forgot his own fears in hers. And then, just before it was time for Kirsty to arrive from the "Question Meeting,"she took her Gaelic Bible and opened at the Lord's Prayer, as she had done once before.
"It is a terrible thing to be unforgiven, Mr. Macdonald," she said, "by man or by God. And God is unwilling that any of us should feel that pain, and that is why he is so free with his offer of pardon to all who come with sorrow to him. They come with sorrow to him now, but they will come to him some day with great joy." And then she spoke a little of the great company of the forgiven before the throne, and at the very last, a few words about the gentle little woman that had passed out from Macdonald Dubh's sight so many years before. Then, falling on her knees, she began in the Gaelic, "Our Father which art in Heaven."Earnestly and brokenly Macdonald Dubh followed, whispering the petitions after her. When they came to "Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors,"Macdonald Dubh broke forth: "Oh, it is a little thing, whatever!
It is little I have to forgive." And then, in a clear, firm voice, he repeated the words after her to the close of the prayer.
Then Mrs. Murray rose, and taking him by the hand to bid him good by, she said, slowly: "'For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you your trespasses.' You have forgiven, Mr. Macdonald.""Indeed, it is nothing," he said, earnestly.
"Then," replied Mrs. Murray, "the Lord will not break his promise to you." And with that she went away.
On Saturday morning the session met before the service for the day.
In the midst of their deliberations the door opened and Macdonald Bhain and his brother, Macdonald Dubh, walked in and stood silent before the elders. Mr. Murray rose astonished, and coming forward, said to Macdonald Bhain: "What is it, Mr. Macdonald? You wish to see me?""I am here," he said, "for my own sake and for my brother's. We wish to make confession of our sins, in that we have not been men of love, and to seek the forgiveness of God."The minister stood and gazed at him in amazed silence for some moments, and then, giving his hand to Macdonald Dubh, he said, in a voice husky with emotion: "Come away, my brother. The Lord has a welcome for you."And there were no questions that day asked in the session before Macdonald Dubh received his token.