第93章
"If you mention her,"cried Winifred,"I go straight out to Park Lane and I don't come back."Suddenly he did a simple thing,but so uncharacteristic that it moved her.He shut his eyes.It was as if he had said:'All right!I'm dead to the world!'
"You can have a room for the night,"she said;"your things are still here.Only Imogen is at home."He leaned back against the bed-rail."Well,it's in your hands,"and his own made a writhing movement."I've been through it.You needn't hit too hard--it isn't worth while.I've been frightened;I've been frightened,Freddie."
That old pet name,disused for years and years,sent a shiver through Winifred.
'What am I to do with him?'she thought.'What in God's name am Ito do with him?'
"Got a cigarette?"
She gave him one from a little box she kept up there for when she couldn't sleep at night,and lighted it.With that action the matter-of-fact side of her nature came to life again.
"Go and have a hot bath.I'll put some clothes out for you in the dressing-room.We can talk later."He nodded,and fixed his eyes on her--they looked half-dead,or was it that the folds in the lids had become heavier?
'He's not the same,'she thought.He would never be quite the same again!But what would he be?
"All right!"he said,and went towards the door.He even moved differently,like a man who has lost illusion and doubts whether it is worth while to move at all.
When he was gone,and she heard the water in the bath running,she put out a complete set of garments on the bed in his dressing-room,then went downstairs and fetched up the biscuit box and whisky.
Putting on her coat again,and listening a moment at the bathroom door,she went down and out.In the street she hesitated.Past seven o'clock!Would Soames be at his Club or at Park Lane?She turned towards the latter.Back!
Soames had always feared it--she had sometimes hoped it.Back!
So like him--clown that he was--with this:'Here we are again!'to make fools of them all--of the Law,of Soames,of herself!
Yet to have done with the Law,not to have that murky cloud hanging over her and the children!What a relief!Ah!but how to accept his return?That 'woman'had ravaged him,taken from him passion such as he had never bestowed on herself,such as she had not thought him capable of.There was the sting!That selfish,blatant 'clown'of hers,whom she herself had never really stirred,had been swept and ungarnished by another woman!Insulting!Too insulting!Not right,not decent to take him back!And yet she had asked for him;the Law perhaps would make her now!He was as much her husband as ever--she had put herself out of court!And all he wanted,no doubt,was money--to keep him in cigars and lavender-water!That scent!'After all,I'm not old,'she thought,'not old yet!'But that woman who had reduced him to those words:'I've been through it.I've been frightened--frightened,Freddie!'She neared her father's house,driven this way and that,while all the time the Forsyte undertow was drawing her to deep conclusion that after all he was her property,to be held against a robbing world.And so she came to James'.
"Mr.Soames?In his room?I'll go up;don't say I'm here."Her brother was dressing.She found him before a mirror,tying a black bow with an air of despising its ends.
"Hullo!"he said,contemplating her in the glass;"what's wrong?""Monty!"said Winifred stonily.
Soames spun round."What!"
"Back!"
"Hoist,"muttered Soames,"with our own petard.Why the deuce didn't you let me try cruelty?I always knew it was too much risk this way.""Oh!Don't talk about that!What shall I do?"Soames answered,with a deep,deep sound.
"Well?"said Winifred impatiently.
"What has he to say for himself?"
"Nothing.One of his boots is split across the toe."Soames stared at her.
"Ah!"he said,"of course!On his beam ends.So--it begins again!
This'll about finish father."
"Can't we keep it from him?"
"Impossible.He has an uncanny flair for anything that's worrying."And he brooded,with fingers hooked into his blue silk braces.
"There ought to be some way in law,"he muttered,"to make him safe.""No,"cried Winifred,"I won't be made a fool of again;I'd sooner put up with him."The two stared at each other.Their hearts were full of feeling,but they could give it no expression--Forsytes that they were.
"Where did you leave him?"
"In the bath,"and Winifred gave a little bitter laugh."The only thing he's brought back is lavender-water.""Steady!"said Soames,"you're thoroughly upset.I'll go back with you.""What's the use?"
"We ought to make terms with him."
"Terms!It'll always be the same.When he recovers--cards and betting,drink and .!"She was silent,remembering the look on her husband's face.The burnt child--the burnt child.Perhaps.!
"Recovers?"replied Soames:"Is he ill?"
"No;burnt out;that's all."
Soames took his waistcoat from a chair and put it on,he took his coat and got into it,he scented his handkerchief with eau-de-Cologne,threaded his watch-chain,and said:"We haven't any luck."And in the midst of her own trouble Winifred was sorry for him,as if in that little saying he had revealed deep trouble of his own.
"I'd like to see mother,"she said.
"She'll be with father in their room.Come down quietly to the study.I'll get her."Winifred stole down to the little dark study,chiefly remarkable for a Canaletto too doubtful to be placed elsewhere,and a fine collection of Law Reports unopened for many years.Here she stood,with her back to maroon-coloured curtains close-drawn,staring at the empty grate,till her mother came in followed by Soames.
"Oh!my poor dear!"said Emily:"How miserable you look in here!
This is too bad of him,really!"
As a family they had so guarded themselves from the expression of all unfashionable emotion that it was impossible to go up and give her daughter a good hug.But there was comfort in her cushioned voice,and her still dimpled shoulders under some rare black lace.