第14章

He woke at half-past two,an hour which long experience had taught him brings panic intensity to all awkward thoughts.Experience had also taught him that a further waking at the proper hour of eight showed the folly of such panic.On this particular morning the thought which gathered rapid momentum was that if he became ill,at his age not improbable,he would not see her.From this it was but a step to realisation that he would be cut off,too,when his son and June returned from Spain.How could he justify desire for the company of one who had stolen--early morning does not mince words--June's lover?That lover was dead;but June was a stubborn little thing;warm-hearted,but stubborn as wood,and--quite true--not one who forgot!By the middle of next month they would be back.He had barely five weeks left to enjoy the new interest which had come into what remained of his life.Darkness showed up to him absurdly clear the nature of his feeling.Admiration for beauty--a craving to see that which delighted his eyes.

Preposterous,at his age!And yet--what other reason was there for asking June to undergo such painful reminder,and how prevent his son and his son's wife from thinking him very queer?He would be reduced to sneaking up to London,which tired him;and the least indisposition would cut him off even from that.He lay with eyes open,setting his jaw against the prospect,and calling himself an old fool,while his heart beat loudly,and then seemed to stop beating altogether.He had seen the dawn lighting the window chinks,heard the birds chirp and twitter,and the cocks crow,before he fell asleep again,and awoke tired but sane.Five weeks before he need bother,at his age an eternity!But that early morning panic had left its mark,had slightly fevered the will of one who had always had his own way.He would see her as often as he wished!Why not go up to town and make that codicil at his solicitor's instead of writing about it;she might like to go to the opera!But,by train,for he would not have that fat chap Beacon grinning behind his back.Servants were such fools;and,as likely as not,they had known all the past history of Irene and young Bosinney--servants knew everything,and suspected the rest.

He wrote to her that morning:

"MY DEAR IRENE,--I have to be up in town to-morrow.If you would like to have a look in at the opera,come and dine with me quietly ."But where?It was decades since he had dined anywhere in London save at his Club or at a private house.Ah!that new-fangled place close to Covent Garden.

"Let me have a line to-morrow morning to the Piedmont Hotel whether to expect you there at 7o'clock.""Yours affectionately,"JOLYON FORSYTE."

She would understand that he just wanted to give her a little pleasure;for the idea that she should guess he had this itch to see her was instinctively unpleasant to him;it was not seemly that one so old should go out of his way to see beauty,especially in a woman.

The journey next day,short though it was,and the visit to his lawyer's,tired him.It was hot too,and after dressing for dinner he lay down on the sofa in his bedroom to rest a little.He must have had a sort of fainting fit,for he came to himself feeling very queer;and with some difficulty rose and rang the bell.Why!

It was past seven!And there he was and she would be waiting.But suddenly the dizziness came on again,and he was obliged to relapse on the sofa.He heard the maid's voice say:

"Did you ring,sir?"

"Yes,come here";he could not see her clearly,for the cloud in front of his eyes."I'm not well,I want some sal volatile.""Yes,sir."Her voice sounded frightened.

Old Jolyon made an effort.

"Don't go.Take this message to my niece--a lady waiting in the hall--a lady in grey.Say Mr.Forsyte is not well--the heat.He is very sorry;if he is not down directly,she is not to wait dinner."When she was gone,he thought feebly:'Why did I say a lady in grey--she may be in anything.Sal volatile!'He did not go off again,yet was not conscious of how Irene came to be standing beside him,holding smelling salts to his nose,and pushing a pillow up behind his head.He heard her say anxiously:"Dear Uncle Jolyon,what is it?"was dimly conscious of the soft pressure of her lips on his hand;then drew a long breath of smelling salts,suddenly discovered strength in them,and sneezed.

"Ha!"he said,"it's nothing.How did you get here?Go down and dine--the tickets are on the dressing-table.I shall be all right in a minute."He felt her cool hand on his forehead,smelled violets,and sat divided between a sort of pleasure and a determination to be all right.

"Why!You are in grey!"he said."Help me up."Once on his feet he gave himself a shake.

"What business had I to go off like that!"And he moved very slowly to the glass.What a cadaverous chap!Her voice,behind him,murmured:

"You mustn't come down,Uncle;you must rest.""Fiddlesticks!A glass of champagne'll soon set me to rights.Ican't have you missing the opera."

But the journey down the corridor was troublesome.What carpets they had in these newfangled places,so thick that you tripped up in them at every step!In the lift he noticed how concerned she looked,and said with the ghost of a twinkle:

"I'm a pretty host."

When the lift stopped he had to hold firmly to the seat to prevent its slipping under him;but after soup and a glass of champagne he felt much better,and began to enjoy an infirmity which had brought such solicitude into her manner towards him.

"I should have liked you for a daughter,"he said suddenly;and watching the smile in her eyes,went on:

"You mustn't get wrapped up in the past at your time of life;plenty of that when you get to my age.That's a nice dress--I like the style.""I made it myself."

Ah!A woman who could make herself a pretty frock had not lost her interest in life.