第34章 Volume 1(34)

Dr.D--was instantly standing by the bedside,and upon examination he found that a sudden and copious flow of blood had taken place from the wound which the lancet had left;and this,no doubt,had effected his sudden and almost preternatural restoration to an existence from which all thought he had been for ever removed.The man was still speechless,but he seemed to understand the physician when he forbid his repeating the painful and fruitless attempts which he made to articulate,and he at once resigned himself quietly into his hands.

I left the patient with leeches upon his temples,and bleeding freely,apparently with little of the drowsiness which accompanies apoplexy;indeed,Dr.D--told me that he had never before witnessed a seizure which seemed to combine the symptoms of so many kinds,and yet which belonged to none of the recognised classes;it certainly was not apoplexy,catalepsy,nor delirium tremens,and yet it seemed,in some degree,to partake of the properties of all.It was strange,but stranger things are coming.

During two or three days Dr.D--would not allow his patient to converse in a manner which could excite or exhaust him,with anyone;he suffered him merely as briefly as possible to express his immediate wants.And it was not until the fourth day after my early visit,the particulars of which I have just detailed,that it was thought expedient that I should see him,and then only because it appeared that his extreme importunity and impatience to meet me were likely to retard his recovery more than the mere exhaustion attendant upon a short conversation could possibly do;perhaps,too,my friend entertained some hope that if by holy confession his patient's bosom were eased of the perilous stuff which no doubt oppressed it,his recovery would be more assured and rapid.It was then,as Ihave said,upon the fourth day after my first professional call,that I found myself once more in the dreary chamber of want and sickness.

The man was in bed,and appeared low and restless.On my entering the room he raised himself in the bed,and muttered,twice or thrice:

'Thank God!thank God!'

I signed to those of his family who stood by to leave the room,and took a chair beside the bed.So soon as we were alone,he said,rather doggedly:

'There's no use in telling me of the sinfulness of bad ways--I know it all.Iknow where they lead to--I seen everything about it with my own eyesight,as plain as I see you.'He rolled himself in the bed,as if to hide his face in the clothes;and then suddenly raising himself,he exclaimed with startling vehemence:

'Look,sir!there is no use in mincing the matter:I'm blasted with the fires of hell;I have been in hell.What do you think of that?In hell--I'm lost for ever--Ihave not a chance.I am damned already --damned--damned!'

The end of this sentence he actually shouted.His vehemence was perfectly terrific;he threw himself back,and laughed,and sobbed hysterically.Ipoured some water into a tea-cup,and gave it to him.After he had swallowed it,I told him if he had anything to communicate,to do so as briefly as he could,and in a manner as little agitating to himself as possible;threatening at the same time,though I had no intention of doing so,to leave him at once,in case he again gave way to such passionate excitement.

'It's only foolishness,'he continued,'for me to try to thank you for coming to such a villain as myself at all.It's no use for me to wish good to you,or to bless you;for such as me has no blessings to give.'

I told him that I had but done my duty,and urged him to proceed to the matter which weighed upon his mind.He then spoke nearly as follows:

'I came in drunk on Friday night last,and got to my bed here;I don't remember how.Sometime in the night it seemed to me I wakened,and feeling unasy in myself,I got up out of the bed.I wanted the fresh air;but I would not make a noise to open the window,for fear I'd waken the crathurs.It was very dark and throublesome to find the door;but at last I did get it,and I groped my way out,and went down as asy as I could.Ifelt quite sober,and I counted the steps one after another,as I was going down,that I might not stumble at the bottom.

'When I came to the first landing-place --God be about us always!--the floor of it sunk under me,and I went down--down--down,till the senses almost left me.I do not know how long I was falling,but it seemed to me a great while.When Icame rightly to myself at last,I was sitting near the top of a great table;and I could not see the end of it,if it had any,it was so far off.And there was men beyond reckoning,sitting down all along by it,at each side,as far as Icould see at all.I did not know at first was it in the open air;but there was a close smothering feel in it that was not natural.And there was a kind of light that my eyesight never saw before,red and unsteady;and I did not see for a long time where it was coming from,until I looked straight up,and then I seen that it came from great balls of blood-coloured fire that were rolling high over head with a sort of rushing,trembling sound,and I perceived that they shone on the ribs of a great roof of rock that was arched overhead instead of the sky.When I seen this,scarce knowing what I did,I got up,and I said,"I have no right to be here;I must go."And the man that was sitting at my left hand only smiled,and said,"Sit down again;you can NEVER leave this place."And his voice was weaker than any child's voice I ever heerd;and when he was done speaking he smiled again.

'Then I spoke out very loud and bold,and I said,"In the name of God,let me out of this bad place."And there was a great man that I did not see before,sitting at the end of the table that I was near;and he was taller than twelve men,and his face was very proud and terrible to look at.