第75章
"You are quite right, it irritates my nerves instead of soothing them.Only one little glass.I'll get it out of the cupboard."He unlocked the cupboard, poured out a glass, drank it, then locked the cupboard and put the key back in his pocket.
"That's enough.One glass won't kill me.""You see you are in a better humour now," said Alyosha, smiling.
"Um! I love you even without the brandy, but with scoundrels Iam a scoundrel.Ivan is not going to Tchermashnya- why is that? He wants to spy how much I give Grushenka if she comes.They are all scoundrels! But I don't recognise Ivan, I don't know him at all.Where does he come from? He is not one of us in soul.As though I'd leave him anything! I shan't leave a will at all, you may as well know.
And I'll crush Mitya like a beetle.I squash black-beetles at night with my slipper; they squelch when you tread on them.And your Mitya will squelch too.Your Mitya, for you love him.Yes you love him and Iam not afraid of your loving him.But if Ivan loved him I should be afraid for myself at his loving him.But Ivan loves nobody.Ivan is not one of us.People like Ivan are not our sort, my boy.They are like a cloud of dust.When the wind blows, the dust will be gone....Ihad a silly idea in my head when I told you to come to-day; I wanted to find out from you about Mitya.If I were to hand him over a thousand or maybe two now, would the beggarly wretch agree to take himself off altogether for five years or, better still, thirty-five, and without Grushenka, and give her up once for all, eh?""I- I'll ask him," muttered Alyosha."If you would give him three thousand, perhaps he-""That's nonsense! You needn't ask him now, no need! I've changed my mind.It was a nonsensical idea of mine.I won't give him anything, not a penny, I want my money myself," cried the old man, waving his hand."I'll crush him like a beetle without it.Don't say anything to him or else he will begin hoping.There's nothing for you to do here, you needn't stay.Is that betrothed of his, Katerina Ivanovna, whom he has kept so carefully hidden from me all this time, going to marry him or not? You went to see her yesterday, I believe?""Nothing will induce her to abandon him.""There you see how dearly these fine young ladies love a rake and a scoundrel.They are poor creatures I tell you, those pale young ladies, very different from- Ah, if I had his youth and the looks I had then (for I was better-looking than he at eight and twenty) I'd have been a conquering hero just as he is.He is a low cad! But he shan't have Grushenka, anyway, he shan't! I'll crush him!"His anger had returned with the last words.
"You can go.There's nothing for you to do here to-day," he snapped harshly.
Alyosha went up to say good-bye to him, and kissed him on the shoulder.
"What's that for?" The old man was a little surprised."We shall see each other again, or do you think we shan't?""Not at all, I didn't mean anything."
"Nor did I, I did not mean anything," said the old man, looking at him."Listen, listen," he shouted after him, "make haste and come again and I'll have a fish soup for you, a fine one, not like to-day.Be sure to come! Come to-morrow, do you hear, to-morrow!"And as soon as Alyosha had gone out of the door, he went to the cupboard again and poured out another half-glass.
"I won't have more!" he muttered, clearing his throat, and again he locked the cupboard and put the key in his pocket.Then he went into his bedroom, lay down on the bed, exhausted, and in one minute he was asleep.
Chapter 3
A Meeting with the Schoolboys"THANK goodness he did not ask me about Grushenka," thought Alyosha, as he left his father's house and turned towards Madame Hohlakov's, "or I might have had to tell him of my meeting with Grushenka yesterday."Alyosha felt painfully that since yesterday both combatants had renewed their energies, and that their hearts had grown hard again.
"Father is spiteful and angry, he's made some plan and will stick to it.And what of Dmitri? He too will be harder than yesterday, he too must be spiteful and angry, and he too, no doubt, has made some plan.Oh, I must succeed in finding him to-day, whatever happens."But Alyosha had not long to meditate.An incident occurred on the road, which, though apparently of little consequence, made a great impression on him.just after he had crossed the square and turned the corner coming out into Mihailovsky Street, which is divided by a small ditch from the High Street (our whole town is intersected by ditches), he saw a group of schoolboys between the ages of nine and twelve, at the bridge.They were going home from school, some with their bags on their shoulders, others with leather satchels slung across them, some in short jackets, others in little overcoats.Some even had those high boots with creases round the ankles, such as little boys spoilt by rich fathers love to wear.The whole group was talking eagerly about something, apparently holding a council.Alyosha had never from his Moscow days been able to pass children without taking notice of them, and although he was particularly fond of children of three or thereabout, he liked schoolboys of ten and eleven too.And so, anxious as he was to-day, he wanted at once to turn aside to talk to them.He looked into their excited rosy faces, and noticed at once that all the boys had stones in their hands.Behind the ditch some thirty paces away, there was another schoolboy standing by a fence.He too had a satchel at his side.He was about ten years old, pale, delicate-looking and with sparkling black eyes.He kept an attentive and anxious watch on the other six, obviously his schoolfellows with whom he had just come out of school, but with whom he had evidently had a feud.
Alyosha went up and, addressing a fair, curly-headed, rosy boy in a black jacket, observed: