第102章

Rebellion"I MUST make one confession" Ivan began."I could never understand how one can love one's neighbours.It's just one's neighbours, to my mind, that one can't love, though one might love those at a distance.I once read somewhere of John the Merciful, a saint, that when a hungry, frozen beggar came to him, he took him into his bed, held him in his arms, and began breathing into his mouth, which was putrid and loathsome from some awful disease.I am convinced that he did that from 'self-laceration,' from the self-laceration of falsity, for the sake of the charity imposed by duty, as a penance laid on him.For anyone to love a man, he must be hidden, for as soon as he shows his face, love is gone.""Father Zossima has talked of that more than once," observed Alyosha; "he, too, said that the face of a man often hinders many people not practised in love, from loving him.But yet there's a great deal of love in mankind, and almost Christ-like love.I know that myself, Ivan.""Well, I know nothing of it so far, and can't understand it, and the innumerable mass of mankind are with me there.The question is, whether that's due to men's bad qualities or whether it's inherent in their nature.To my thinking, Christ-like love for men is a miracle impossible on earth.He was God.But we are not gods.Suppose I, for instance, suffer intensely.Another can never know how much Isuffer, because he is another and not I.And what's more, a man is rarely ready to admit another's suffering (as though it were a distinction).Why won't he admit it, do you think? Because I smell unpleasant, because I have a stupid face, because I once trod on his foot.Besides, there is suffering and suffering; degrading, humiliating suffering such as humbles me- hunger, for instance- my benefactor will perhaps allow me; but when you come to higher suffering- for an idea, for instance- he will very rarely admit that, perhaps because my face strikes him as not at all what he fancies a man should have who suffers for an idea.And so he deprives me instantly of his favour, and not at all from badness of heart.Beggars, especially genteel beggars, ought never to show themselves, but to ask for charity through the newspapers.One can love one's neighbours in the abstract, or even at a distance, but at close quarters it's almost impossible.If it were as on the stage, in the ballet, where if beggars come in, they wear silken rags and tattered lace and beg for alms dancing gracefully, then one might like looking at them.But even then we should not love them.But enough of that.I simply wanted to show you my point of view.I meant to speak of the suffering of mankind generally, but we had better confine ourselves to the sufferings of the children.That reduces the scope of my argument to a tenth of what it would be.Still we'd better keep to the children, though it does weaken my case.But, in the first place, children can be loved even at close quarters, even when they are dirty, even when they are ugly (I fancy, though, children never are ugly).The second reason why I won't speak of grown-up people is that, besides being disgusting and unworthy of love, they have a compensation- they've eaten the apple and know good and evil, and they have become 'like gods.' They go on eating it still.But the children haven't eaten anything, and are so far innocent.Are you fond of children, Alyosha? I know you are, and you will understand why Iprefer to speak of them.If they, too, suffer horribly on earth, they must suffer for their fathers' sins, they must be punished for their fathers, who have eaten the apple; but that reasoning is of the other world and is incomprehensible for the heart of man here on earth.The innocent must not suffer for another's sins, and especially such innocents! You may be surprised at me, Alyosha, but I am awfully fond of children, too.And observe, cruel people, the violent, the rapacious, the Karamazovs are sometimes very fond of children.

Children while they are quite little- up to seven, for instance- are so remote from grown-up people they are different creatures, as it were, of a different species.I knew a criminal in prison who had, in the course of his career as a burglar, murdered whole families, including several children.But when he was in prison, he had a strange affection for them.He spent all his time at his window, watching the children playing in the prison yard.He trained one little boy to come up to his window and made great friends with him....You don't know why I am telling you all this, Alyosha? My head aches and I am sad.""You speak with a strange air," observed Alyosha uneasily, "as though you were not quite yourself.""By the way, a Bulgarian I met lately in Moscow," Ivan went on, seeming not to hear his brother's words, "told me about the crimes committed by Turks and Circassians in all parts of Bulgaria through fear of a general rising of the Slavs.They burn villages, murder, outrage women and children, they nail their prisoners by the ears to the fences, leave them so till morning, and in the morning they hang them- all sorts of things you can't imagine.People talk sometimes of bestial cruelty, but that's a great injustice and insult to the beasts; a beast can never be so cruel as a man, so artistically cruel.

The tiger only tears and gnaws, that's all he can do.He would never think of nailing people by the ears, even if he were able to do it.

These Turks took a pleasure in torturing children, -too; cutting the unborn child from the mothers womb, and tossing babies up in the air and catching them on the points of their bayonets before their mothers' eyes.Doing it before the mothers' eyes was what gave zest to the amusement.Here is another scene that I thought very interesting.Imagine a trembling mother with her baby in her arms, a circle of invading Turks around her.They've planned a diversion: they pet the baby, laugh to make it laugh.They succeed, the baby laughs.