第133章
When I again became conscious, I found myself half kneeling, half lying across the bed, my arms stretched out in front of me, my face buried in the clothes.Body and mind were alike numbed.Asmarting pain in my left hand, a dreadful terror in my heart, were at first the only sensations of which I was aware.Slowly, very slowly, sense and memory returned to me, and with them a more vivid intensity of mental anguish, as detail by detail I recalled the weird horror of the night.Had it really happened,--was the thing still there,--or was it all a ghastly nightmare? It was some minutes before I dared either to move or look up, and then fearfully I raised my head.Before me stretched the smooth white coverlet, faintly bright with yellow sunshine.Weak and giddy, Istruggled to my feet, and, steadying myself against the foot of the bed, with clenched teeth and bursting heart, forced my gaze round to the other end.The pillow lay there, bare and unmarked save for what might well have been the pressure of my own head.My breath came more freely, and I turned to the window.The sun had just risen, the golden tree-tops were touched with light, faint threads of mist hung here and there across the sky, and the twittering of birds sounded clearly through the crisp autumn air.
It was nothing but a bad dream then, after all, this horror which still hung round me, leaving me incapable of effort, almost of thought.I remembered the cabinet, and looked swiftly in that direction.There it stood, closed as usual, closed as it had been the evening before, as it had been for the last three hundred years, except in my dreams.
Yes, that was it; nothing but a dream,--a gruesome, haunting dream.
With an instinct of wiping out the dreadful memory, I raised my hand wearily to my forehead.As I did so, I became conscious again of how it hurt me.I looked at it.It was covered with half-dried blood, and two straight clean cuts appeared, one across the palm and one across the inside of the fingers just below the knuckles.
I looked again towards the bed, and, in the place where my hand had rested during my faint, a small patch of red blood was to be seen.
Then it was true! Then it had all happened! With a low shuddering sob I threw myself down upon the couch at the foot of the bed, and lay there for some minutes, my limbs trembling, and my soul shrinking within me.A mist of evil, fearful and loathsome, had descended upon my girlhood's life, sullying its ignorant innocence, saddening its brightness, as I felt, for ever.I lay there till my teeth began to chatter, and I realized that I was bitterly cold.
To return to that accursed bed was impossible, so I pulled a rug which hung at one end of the sofa over me, and, utterly worn out in mind and body, fell uneasily asleep.
I was roused by the entrance of my maid.I stopped her exclamations and questions by shortly stating that I had had a bad night, had been unable to rest in bed, and had had an accident with my hand,--without further specifying of what description.
"I didn't know that you had been feeling unwell when you went to bed last night, miss," she said.
"When I went to bed last night? Unwell? What do you mean?""Only Mr.Alan has just asked me to let him know how you find yourself this morning," she answered.
Then he expected something, dreaded something.Ah! why had he yielded and allowed me to sleep here, I asked myself bitterly, as the incidents of the day before flashed through my mind.
"Tell him," I said, "what I have told you; and say that I wish to speak to him directly after breakfast." I could not confide my story to any one else, but speak of it I must to some one or go mad.
Every moment passed in that place was an added misery.Much to my maid's surprise I said that I would dress in her room--the little one which, as I have said, was close to my own.I felt better there; but my utter fatigue and my wounded hand combined to make my toilet slow, and I found that most of the party had finished breakfast when I reached the dining-room.I was glad of this, for even as it was I found it difficult enough to give coherent answers to the questions which my white face and bandaged hand called forth.Alan helped me by giving a resolute turn to the conversation.Once only our eyes met across the table.He looked as haggard and worn as I did: I learned afterwards that he had passed most of that fearful night pacing the passage outside my door, though he listened in vain for any indication of what was going on within the room.
The moment I had finished breakfast he was by my side."You wish to speak to me? now?" he asked in a low tone.
"Yes; now," I answered, breathlessly, and without raising my eyes from the ground.
"Where shall we go? Outside? It is a bright day, and we shall be freer there from interruption."I assented; and then looking up at him appealingly, "Will you fetch my things for me? I CANNOT go up to that room again."He seemed to understand me, nodded, and was gone.A few minutes later we left the house, and made our way in silence towards a grassy spot on the side of the ravine where we had already indulged in more than one friendly talk.
As we went, the Dead Stone came for a moment into view.I seized Alan's arm in an almost convulsive grip."Tell me," I whispered,--"you refused to tell me yesterday, but you must now,--who is buried beneath that rock?"There was now neither timidity nor embarrassment in my tone.The horrors of that house had become part of my life for ever, and their secrets were mine by right.Alan, after a moment's pause, a questioning glance at my face, tacitly accepted the position.