The Notch on the Ax and On Being Found Out
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第128章

Whether or not George was aware of the look or action, I cannot say; but at the same moment he made rapidly across the room to where one of his principal guests was standing, and at once engaged him in conversation.So earnestly and so volubly was he borne on, that they were still talking together when we ladies appeared again some minutes later, prepared for our walk to church.That was not the only occasion during the day on which I witnessed as I thought the same by-play going on.Again and again Alan appeared to be making efforts to engage George in private conversation, and again and again the latter successfully eluded him.

The church was about a mile away from the house, and as Lucy did not like having the carriages out on a Sunday, one service a week as a rule contented the household.In the afternoon we took the usual Sunday walk.On returning from it, I had just taken off my outdoor things, and was issuing from my bedroom, when I found myself face to face with Alan.He was coming out of George's study, and had succeeded apparently in obtaining that interview for which he had been all day seeking.One glance at his face told me what its nature had been.We paused opposite each other for a moment, and he looked at me earnestly.

"Are you going to church?" he inquired at last, abruptly.

"No," I answered, with some surprise."I did not know that any one was going this evening.""Will you come with me?"

"Yes, certainly; if you don't mind waiting a moment for me to put my things on.""There's plenty of time," he answered; "meet me in the hall."A few minutes later we started.

It was a calm, cloudless night, and although the moon was not yet half-full, and already past her meridian, she filled the clear air with gentle light.Not a word broke our silence.Alan walked hurriedly, looking straight before him, his head upright, his lips twitching nervously, while every now and then a half-uttered moan escaped unconsciously from between them.At last I could bear it no longer, and burst forth with the first remark which occurred to me.We were passing a big, black, queer-shaped stone standing in rather a lonely uncultivated spot at one end of the garden.It was an old acquaintance of my childhood; but my thoughts had been turned towards it now from the fact that I could see it from my bedroom window, and had been struck afresh by its uncouth, incongruous appearance.

"Isn't there some story connected with that stone?" I asked."Iremember that we always called it the Dead Stone as children."Alan cast a quick, sidelong glance in that direction, and his brows contracted in an irritable frown."I don't know," he answered shortly; "they say that there is a woman buried beneath it, Ibelieve."

"A woman buried there!" I exclaimed in surprise; "but who?""How should I know? They know nothing whatever about it.The place is full of stupid traditions of that kind." Then, looking suspiciously round at me, "Why do you ask?""I don't know; it was just something to say," I answered plaintively.His strange mood so worked upon my nerves, that it was all that I could do to restrain my tears.I think that my tone struck his conscience, for he made a few feverish attempts at conversation after that.But they were so entirely abortive that he soon abandoned the effort, and we finished our walk to church as speechlessly as we had begun it.

The service was bright, and the sermon perhaps a little commonplace, but sensible as it seemed to me in matter, and adequate in style.The peaceful evening hymn which followed, the short solemn pause of silent prayer at the end, soothed and refreshed my spirit.A hasty glance at my companion's face as he stood waiting for me in the porch, with the full light from the church streaming round him, assured me that the same influence had touched him too.Haggard and sad he still looked, it is true; but his features were composed, and the expression of actual pain had left his eyes.

Silent as we had come we started homeward through the waning moonlight, but this silence was of a very different nature to the other, and after a minute or two I did not hesitate to break it.

"It was a good sermon?" I observed, interrogatively.

"Yes," he assented, "I suppose you would call it so; but I confess that I should have found the text more impressive without its exposition.""Poor man!"

"But don't you often find it so?" he asked."Do you not often wish, to take this evening's instance, that clergymen would infuse themselves with something of St.Paul's own spirit? Then perhaps they would not water all the strength out of his words in their efforts to explain them.""That is rather a large demand to make upon them, is it not?""Is it?" he questioned."I don't ask them to be inspired saints.

I don't expect St.Paul's breadth and depth of thought.But could they not have something of his vigorous completeness, something of the intensity of his feeling and belief? Look at the text of to-night.Did not the preacher's examples and applications take something from its awful unqualified strength?""Awful!" I exclaimed, in surprise; "that is hardly the expression Ishould have used in connection with those words.""Why not?"

"Oh, I don't know.The text is very beautiful, of course, and at times, when people are tiresome and one ought to be nice to them, it is very difficult to act up to.But--""But you think that 'awful' is rather a big adjective to use for so small a duty," interposed Alan, and the moonlight showed the flicker of a smile upon his face.Then he continued, gravely, "Idoubt whether you yourself realize the full import of the words.

The precept of charity is not merely a code of rules by which to order our conduct to our neighbors; it is the picture of a spiritual condition, and such, where it exists in us, must by its very nature be roused into activity by anything that affects us.