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As Johnson had now very faint hopes of recovery,and as Mrs.Thrale was no longer devoted to him,it might have been supposed that he would naturally have chosen to remain in the comfortable house of his beloved wife's daughter,and end his life where he began it.
But there was in him an animated and lofty spirit,and however complicated diseases might depress ordinary mortals,all who saw him,beheld and acknowledged the invictum animum Catonis.Such was his intellectual ardour even at this time,that he said to one friend,'Sir,I look upon every day to be lost,in which I do not make a new acquaintance;'and to another,when talking of his illness,'I will be conquered;I will not capitulate.'And such was his love of London,so high a relish had he of its magnificent extent,and variety of intellectual entertainment,that he languished when absent from it,his mind having become quite luxurious from the long habit of enjoying the metropolis;and,therefore,although at Lichfield,surrounded with friends,who loved and revered him,and for whom he had a very sincere affection,he still found that such conversation as London affords,could be found no where else.These feelings,joined,probably,to some flattering hopes of aid from the eminent physicians and surgeons in London,who kindly and generously attended him without accepting fees,made him resolve to return to the capital.
From Lichfield he came to Birmingham,where he passed a few days with his worthy old schoolfellow,Mr.Hector,who thus writes to me:--'He was very solicitous with me to recollect some of our most early transactions,and transmit them to him,for I perceive nothing gave him greater pleasure than calling to mind those days of our innocence.I complied with his request,and he only received them a few days before his death.I have transcribed for your inspection,exactly the minutes I wrote to him.'This paper having been found in his repositories after his death,Sir John Hawkins has inserted it entire,and I have made occasional use of it and other communications from Mr.Hector,in the course of this Work.I have both visited and corresponded with him since Dr.
Johnson's death,and by my inquiries concerning a great variety of particulars have obtained additional information.I followed the same mode with the Reverend Dr.Taylor,in whose presence I wrote down a good deal of what he could tell;and he,at my request,signed his name,to give it authenticity.It is very rare to find any person who is able to give a distinct account of the life even of one whom he has known intimately,without questions being put to them.My friend Dr.Kippis has told me,that on this account it is a practice with him to draw out a biographical catechism.
Johnson then proceeded to Oxford,where he was again kindly received by Dr.Adams.
He arrived in London on the 16th of November,and next day sent to Dr.Burney the following note,which I insert as the last token of his remembrance of that ingenious and amiable man,and as another of the many proofs of the tenderness and benignity of his heart:--'MR.JOHNSON,who came home last night,sends his respects to dear Dr.Burney,and all the dear Burneys,little and great.'
Having written to him,in bad spirits,a letter filled with dejection and fretfulness,and at the same time expressing anxious apprehensions concerning him,on account of a dream which had disturbed me;his answer was chiefly in terms of reproach,for a supposed charge of 'affecting discontent,and indulging the vanity of complaint.'It,however,proceeded,--'Write to me often,and write like a man.I consider your fidelity and tenderness as a great part of the comforts which are yet left me,and sincerely wish we could be nearer to each other....My dear friend,life is very short and very uncertain;let us spend it as well as we can.My worthy neighbour,Allen,is dead.Love me as well as you can.Pay my respects to dear Mrs.Boswell.Nothing ailed me at that time;let your superstition at last have an end.'
Feeling very soon,that the manner in which he had written might hurt me,he two days afterwards,July 28,wrote to me again,giving me an account of his sufferings;after which,he thus proceeds:--'Before this letter,you will have had one which I hope you will not take amiss;for it contains only truth,and that truth kindly intended....Spartam quam nactus es orna;make the most and best of your lot,and compare yourself not with the few that are above you,but with the multitudes which are below you.'
Yet it was not a little painful to me to find,that ...he still persevered in arraigning me as before,which was strange in him who had so much experience of what I suffered.I,however,wrote to him two as kind letters as I could;the last of which came too late to be read by him,for his illness encreased more rapidly upon him than I had apprehended;but I had the consolation of being informed that he spoke of me on his death-bed,with affection,and I look forward with humble hope of renewing our friendship in a better world.
Soon after Johnson's return to the metropolis,both the asthma and dropsy became more violent and distressful.
During his sleepless nights he amused himself by translating into Latin verse,from the Greek,many of the epigrams in the Anthologia.These translations,with some other poems by him in Latin,he gave to his friend Mr.Langton,who,having added a few notes,sold them to the booksellers for a small sum,to be given to some of Johnson's relations,which was accordingly done;and they are printed in the collection of his works.