第64章

"I am sorry you did that, Helen," said he, "but I don't blame you, and it can't be helped.We won't need to take advantage of his 'kind offer' now.""I intend to do so, however," replied the girl coldly.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," she cried, "that I am sick of waiting on your good pleasure.I waited, and slaved, and stood unbearable things for two years.I did it cheerfully.And in return I don't get a civil word, not a decent explanation, not even a--caress," she fairly sobbed out the last word."I can't stand it any longer.I have tried and tried and tried, and then when I've come to you for the littlest word of encouragement, you have pecked at me with those stingy little kisses, and have told me I was young and ought to finish my education.You put me in uncongenial surroundings, and go off into the woods camping yourself.You refuse me money enough to live in a three-dollar boarding-house, and you buy expensive rifles and fishing tackle for yourself.You can't afford to send me away somewhere for the summer, but you bring me back gee-gaws you have happened to fancy, worth a month's board in the country.

You haven't a cent when it is a question of what I want; but you raise money quick enough when your old family is insulted.Isn't it my family too? And then you blame me because, after waiting in vain two years for you to do something, I start out to do the best I can for myself.I'm not of age but you're not my guardian!"During this long speech Thorpe had stood motionless, growing paler and paler.Like most noble natures, when absolutely in the right, he was incapable of defending himself against misunderstandings.

He was too wounded; he was hurt to the soul.

"You know that is not true, Helen," he replied, almost sternly.

"It IS true!" she asseverated, "and I'm THROUGH!""It's a little hard," said Thorpe passing his hand wearily before his eyes, "to work hard this way for years, and then---"She laughed with a hard little note of scorn.

"Helen," said Thorpe with new energy, "I forbid you to have anything to do with Amos Thorpe.I think he is a scoundrel and a sneak.""What grounds have you to think so?"

"None," he confessed, "that is, nothing definite.But I know men;and I know his type.Some day I shall be able to prove something.

I do not wish you to have anything to do with him.""I shall do as I please," she replied, crossing her hands behind her.

Thorpe's eyes darkened.

"We have talked this over a great many times," he warned, "and you've always agreed with me.Remember, you owe something to the family.""Most of the family seem to owe something," she replied with a flippant laugh."I'm sure I didn't choose the family.If I had, I'd have picked out a better one!"The flippancy was only a weapon which she used unconsciously, blindly, in her struggle.The man could not know this.His face hardened, and his voice grew cold.

"You may take your choice, Helen," he said formally."If you go into the household of Amos Thorpe, if you deliberately prefer your comfort to your honor, we will have nothing more in common."They faced each other with the cool, deadly glance of the race, so similar in appearance but so unlike in nature.

"I, too, offer you a home, such as it is," repeated the man.

"Choose!"

At the mention of the home for which means were so quickly forthcoming when Thorpe, not she, considered it needful, the girl's eyes flashed.She stooped and dragged violently from beneath the bed a flat steamer trunk, the lid of which she threw open.A dress lay on the bed.With a fine dramatic gesture she folded the garment and laid it in the bottom of the trunk.Then she knelt, and without vouchsafing another glance at her brother standing rigid by the door, she began feverishly to arrange the folds.

The choice was made.He turned and went out.

Chapter XXXIV

With Thorpe there could be no half-way measure.He saw that the rupture with his sister was final, and the thrust attained him in one of his few unprotected points.It was not as though he felt either himself or his sister consciously in the wrong.He acquitted her of all fault, except as to the deadly one of misreading and misunderstanding.The fact argued not a perversion but a lack in her character.She was other than he had thought her.

As for himself, he had schemed, worked, lived only for her.He had come to her from the battle expecting rest and refreshment.To the world he had shown the hard, unyielding front of the unemotional;he had looked ever keenly outward; he had braced his muscles in the constant tension of endeavor.So much the more reason why, in the hearts of the few he loved, he, the man of action, should find repose; the man of sternness, should discover that absolute peace of the spirit in which not the slightest motion of the will is necessary, the man of repression should be permitted affectionate, care-free expansion of the natural affection, of the full sympathy which will understand and not mistake for weakness.Instead of this, he was forced into refusing where he would rather have given; into denying where he would rather have assented; and finally into commanding where he longed most ardently to lay aside the cloak of authority.His motives were misread; his intentions misjudged; his love doubted.

But worst of all, Thorpe's mind could see no possibility of an explanation.If she could not see of her own accord how much he loved her, surely it was a hopeless task to attempt an explanation through mere words.If, after all, she was capable of misconceiving the entire set of his motives during the past two years, expostulation would be futile.In his thoughts of her he fell into a great spiritual dumbness.Never, even in his moments of most theoretical imaginings, did he see himself setting before her fully and calmly the hopes and ambitions of which she had been the mainspring.And before a reconciliation, many such rehearsals must take place in the secret recesses of a man's being.