第13章 THOUGHT AND ACT(11)
One day I came near making myself the accomplice, as it were, of the crime which led to the opulence of the Taillefer family.I was on the point of asking the father for Victorine's hand.But I fled; Itravelled; I went to Germany, to Andernach; and then--I returned! Ifound Victorine pale, and thinner; if I had seen her well in health and gay, I should certainly have been saved.Instead of which my love burst out again with untold violence.Fearing that my scruples might degenerate into monomania, I resolved to convoke a sanhedrim of sound consciences, and obtain from them some light on this problem of high morality and philosophy,--a problem which had been, as we shall see, still further complicated since my return.
Two days ago, therefore, I collected those of my friends to whom Iattribute most delicacy, probity, and honor.I invited two Englishmen, the secretary of an embassy, and a puritan; a former minister, now a mature statesman; a priest, an old man; also my former guardian, a simple-hearted being who rendered so loyal a guardianship account that the memory of it is still green at the Palais; besides these, there were present a judge, a lawyer, and a notary,--in short, all social opinions, and all practical virtues.
We began by dining well, talking well, and making some noise; then, at dessert, I related my history candidly, and asked for advice, concealing, of course, the Taillefer name.
A profound silence suddenly fell upon the company.Then the notary took leave.He had, he said, a deed to draw.
The wine and the good dinner had reduced my former guardian to silence; in fact I was obliged later in the evening to put him under guardianship, to make sure of no mishap to him on his way home.
"I understand!" I cried."By not giving an opinion you tell me energetically enough what I ought to do."On this there came a stir throughout the assembly.
A capitalist who had subscribed for the children and tomb of General Foy exclaimed:--"Like Virtue's self, a crime has its degrees.""Rash tongue!" said the former minister, in a low voice, nudging me with his elbow.
"Where's your difficulty?" asked a duke whose fortune is derived from the estates of stubborn Protestants, confiscated on the revocation of the Edict of Nantes.
The lawyer rose, and said:--
"In law, the case submitted to us presents no difficulty.Monsieur le duc is right!" cried the legal organ."There are time limitations.
Where should we all be if we had to search into the origin of fortunes? This is simply an affair of conscience.If you must absolutely carry the case before some tribunal, go to that of the confessional."The Code incarnate ceased speaking, sat down, and drank a glass of champagne.The man charged with the duty of explaining the gospel, the good priest, rose.
"God has made us all frail beings," he said firmly."If you love the heiress of that crime, marry her; but content yourself with the property she derives from her mother; give that of the father to the poor.""But," cried one of those pitiless hair-splitters who are often to be met with in the world, "perhaps the father could make a rich marriage only because he was rich himself; consequently, the marriage was the fruit of the crime.""This discussion is, in itself, a verdict.There are some things on which a man does not deliberate," said my former guardian, who thought to enlighten the assembly with a flash of inebriety.
"Yes!" said the secretary of an embassy.
"Yes!" said the priest.
But the two men did not mean the same thing.
A "doctrinaire," who had missed his election to the Chamber by one hundred and fifty votes out of one hundred and fifty-five, here rose.
"Messieurs," he said, "this phenomenal incident of intellectual nature is one of those which stand out vividly from the normal condition to which sobriety is subjected.Consequently the decision to be made ought to be the spontaneous act of our consciences, a sudden conception, a prompt inward verdict, a fugitive shadow of our mental apprehension, much like the flashes of sentiment which constitute taste.Let us vote.""Let us vote!" cried all my guests.
I have each two balls, one white, one red.The white, symbol of virginity, was to forbid the marriage; the red ball sanctioned it.Imyself abstained from voting, out of delicacy.