第4章 DE JUVENTUTE(1)

We who lived before railways, and survive out of the ancient world, are like Father Noah and his family out of the Ark.The children will gather round and say to us patriarchs, "Tell us, grandpapa, about the old world." And we shall mumble our old stories; and we shall drop off one by one; and there will be fewer and fewer of us, and these very old and feeble.There will be but ten prae-railroadites left: then three -- then two -- then one -- then 0! If the hippopotamus had the least sensibility (of which I cannot trace any signs either in his hide or his face), I think he would go down to the bottom of his tank, and never come up again.Does he not see that he belongs to bygone ages, and that his great hulking barrel of a body is out of place in these times? What has he in common with the brisk young life surrounding him? In the watches of the night, when the keepers are asleep, when the birds are on one leg, when even the little armadillo is quiet, and the monkeys have ceased their chatter, he -- I mean the hippopotamus -- and the elephant, and the long- necked giraffe, perhaps may lay their heads together and have a colloquy about the great silent antediluvian world which they remember, where mighty monsters floundered through the ooze, crocodiles basked on the banks, and dragons darted out of the caves and waters before men were made to slay them.We who lived before railways are antediluvians -- we must pass away.We are growing scarcer every day; and old -- old -- very old relicts of the times when George was still fighting the Dragon.

Not long since, a company of horseriders paid a visit to our watering- place.We went to see them, and I bethought me that young Walter Juvenis, who was in the place, might like also to witness the performance.A pantomime is not always amusing to persons who have attained a certain age; but a boy at a pantomime is always amused and amusing, and to see his pleasure is good for most hypochondriacs.

We sent to Walter's mother, requesting that he might join us, and the kind lady replied that the boy had already been at the morning performance of the equestrians, but was most eager to go in the eveninglikewise.And go he did; and laughed at all Mr Merryman's remarks, though he remembered them with remarkable accuracy, and insisted upon waiting to the very end of the fun, and was only induced to retire just before its conclusion by representations that the ladies of the party would be incommoded if they were to wait and undergo the rush and trample of the crowd round about.When this fact was pointed out to him, he yielded at once, though with a heavy heart, his eyes looking longingly towards the ring as we retreated out of the booth.We were scarcely clear of the place, when we heard "God save the Queen," played by the equestrian band, the signal that all was over.Our companion entertained us with scraps of the dialogue on our way home -- precious crumbs of wit which he had brought away from that feast.He laughed over them again as he walked under the stars.He has them now, and takes them out of the pocket of his memory, and crunches a bit, and relishes it with a sentimental tenderness, too, for he is, no doubt, back at school by this time; the holidays are over; and Doctor Birch's young friends have reassembled.

Queer jokes, which caused a thousand simple mouths to grin! As the jaded Merryman uttered them to the old gentleman with the whip, some of the old folks in the audience, I daresay, indulged in reflections of their own.There was one joke -- I utterly forget it -- but it began with Merryman saying what he had for dinner.He had mutton for dinner, at one o'clock, after which "he had to come to business." And then came the point.Walter Juvenis, Esq., Rev.Doctor Birch's, Market Rodborough, if you read this, will you please send me a line, and let me know what was the joke Mr Merryman made about having his dinner? You remember well enough.But do I want to know? Suppose a boy takes a favourite, long-cherished lump of cake out of his pocket, and offers you a bit? Merci! The fact is, I don't care much about knowing that joke of Mr Merryman's.