第55章

When I left him, after we had buried poor Blanche, Stroeve walked into the house with a heavy heart.Something impelled him to go to the studio, some obscure desire for self-torture, and yet he dreaded the anguish that he foresaw.He dragged himself up the stairs; his feet seemed unwilling to carry him; and outside the door he lingered for a long time, trying to summon up courage to go in.He felt horribly sick.He had an impulse to run down the stairs after me and beg me to go in with him; he had a feeling that there was somebody in the studio.He remembered how often he had waited for a minute or two on the landing to get his breath after the ascent, and how absurdly his impatience to see Blanche had taken it away again.To see her was a delight that never staled, and even though he had not been out an hour he was as excited at the prospect as if they had been parted for a month.Suddenly he could not believe that she was dead.What had happened could only be a dream, a frightful dream; and when he turned the key and opened the door, he would see her bending slightly over the table in the gracious attitude of the woman in Chardin's , which always seemed to him so exquisite.Hurriedly he took the key out of his pocket, opened, and walked in.

The apartment had no look of desertion.His wife's tidiness was one of the traits which had so much pleased him; his own upbringing had given him a tender sympathy for the delight in orderliness; and when he had seen her instinctive desire to put each thing in its appointed place it had given him a little warm feeling in his heart.The bedroom looked as though she had just left it: the brushes were neatly placed on the toilet- table, one on each side of the comb; someone had smoothed down the bed on which she had spent her last night in the studio; and her nightdress in a little case lay on the pillow.It was impossible to believe that she would never come into that room again.

But he felt thirsty, and went into the kitchen to get himself some water.Here, too, was order.On a rack were the plates that she had used for dinner on the night of her quarrel with Strickland, and they had beencarefully washed.The knives and forks were put away in a drawer.Under a cover were the remains of a piece of cheese, and in a tin box was a crust of bread.She had done her marketing from day to day, buying only what was strictly needful, so that nothing was left over from one day to the next.Stroeve knew from the enquiries made by the police that Strickland had walked out of the house immediately after dinner, and the fact that Blanche had washed up the things as usual gave him a little thrill of horror.Her methodicalness made her suicide more deliberate.Her self- possession was frightening.A sudden pang seized him, and his knees felt so weak that he almost fell.He went back into the bedroom and threw himself on the bed. He cried out her name.

"Blanche.Blanche."

The thought of her suffering was intolerable.He had a sudden vision of her standing in the kitchen -- it was hardly larger than a cupboard -- washing the plates and glasses, the forks and spoons, giving the knives a rapid polish on the knife-board; and then putting everything away, giving the sink a scrub, and hanging the dish-cloth up to dry -- it was there still, a gray torn rag; then looking round to see that everything was clean and nice.He saw her roll down her sleeves and remove her apron -- the apron hung on a peg behind the door -- and take the bottle of oxalic acid and go with it into the bedroom.

The agony of it drove him up from the bed and out of the room.He went into the studio.It was dark, for the curtains had been drawn over the great window, and he pulled them quickly back; but a sob broke from him as with a rapid glance he took in the place where he had been so happy.Nothing was changed here, either.Strickland was indifferent to his surroundings, and he had lived in the other's studio without thinking of altering a thing.It was deliberately artistic.It represented Stroeve's idea of the proper environment for an artist.There were bits of old brocade on the walls, and the piano was covered with a piece of silk, beautiful and tarnished; in one corner was a copy of the Venus of Milo, and in another of the Venus of the Medici.Here and there was an Italian cabinet surmounted with Delft, and here and there a bas-relief.In a handsome gold frame was a copy of Velasquez' Innocent X., that Stroeve had made inRome, and placed so as to make the most of their decorative effect were a number of Stroeve's pictures, all in splendid frames.Stroeve had always been very proud of his taste.He had never lost his appreciation for the romantic atmosphere of a studio, and though now the sight of it was like a stab in his heart, without thinking what he was at, he changed slightly the position of a Louis XV.table which was one of his treasures.Suddenly he caught sight of a canvas with its face to the wall.It was a much larger one than he himself was in the habit of using, and he wondered what it did there.He went over to it and leaned it towards him so that he could see the painting.It was a nude.His heart began to beat quickly, for he guessed at once that it was one of Strickland's pictures.He flung it back against the wall angrily -- what did he mean by leaving it there? -- but his movement caused it to fall, face downwards, on the ground.No mater whose the picture, he could not leave it there in the dust, and he raised it; but then curiosity got the better of him.He thought he would like to have a proper look at it, so he brought it along and set it on the easel.Then he stood back in order to see it at his ease.