第15章

During the journey I thought over my errand with misgiving.Now that I was free from the spectacle of Mrs.Strickland's distress I could consider the matter more calmly.I was puzzled by the contradictions that I saw in her behaviour.She was very unhappy, but to excite my sympathy she was able to make a show of her unhappiness.It was evident that she had been prepared to weep, for she had provided herself with a sufficiency of handkerchiefs; I admired her forethought, but in retrospect it made her tears perhaps less moving.I could not decide whether she desired the return of her husband because she loved him, or because she dreaded the tongue of scandal; and I was perturbed by the suspicion that the anguish of love contemned was alloyed in her broken heart with the pangs, sordid to my young mind, of wounded vanity.I had not yet learnt how contradictory is human nature; I did not know how much pose there is in the sincere, how much baseness in the noble, nor how much goodness in the reprobate.

But there was something of an adventure in my trip, and my spirits rose as I approached Paris.I saw myself, too, from the dramatic standpoint, and I was pleased with my role of the trusted friend bringing back the errant husband to his forgiving wife.I made up my mind to see Strickland the following evening, for I felt instinctively that the hour must be chosen with delicacy.An appeal to the emotions is little likely to be effectual before luncheon.My own thoughts were then constantly occupied with love, but I never could imagine connubial bliss till after tea.

I enquired at my hotel for that in which Charles Strickland was living.It was called the Hotel des Belges.But the concierge, somewhat to my surprise, had never heard of it.I had understood from Mrs.Strickland that it was a large and sumptuous place at the back of the Rue de Rivoli.We looked it out in the directory.The only hotel of that name was in the Rue des Moines. The quarter was not fashionable; it was not even respectable.I shook my head.

"I'm sure that's not it," I said.