第75章 What it Involved (1)
Stronger than steel Is the sword of the spirit;Swifter than arrows The life of the truth is;Greater than anger Is love, and subdueth.Longfellow The two or three days at Codrington lengthened out into a week, for both Raeburn and Erica felt a good deal exhausted after the eventful Monday.Raeburn, anxious to spare her as much as possible, himself wrote to Mrs.Craigie, and told her of Erica's change of views.
"It is a great grief," he wrote, "and she will be a serious loss to our cause, but I am determined that we will not enact over again the course of action which drove both you and me from home.Odd!
That she should just reverse our story! Anyhow, you and I, Jean, have been too much persecuted to turn into persecutors.The child is as much in earnest for her delusion as we for our truth.
Argument and remonstrance will do no good, and you must understand, and make Tom understand, that I'll not have her bullied.Don't think that I am trying to make her mistaken way all easy for her.
She won't find it easy.She will have a miserable time of it with our own set, and how many Christians, do you imagine, will hold out a hand to Luke Raeburn's daughter, even though her views have changed? Maybe half a dozen! Not more, I fancy, unless she renounced us with atheism, and that she never will do! She will be between two fires, and I believe between the two she will be worried to death in a year unless we can keep the peace at home.
I don't blame Osmond for this, though at first I did suspect it was his doing; but this has been no cram-work.Erica has honestly faced the questions herself, and has honestly arrived at this mistaken conclusion.Osmond's kindness and generosity of course influenced her, but for the rest they have only had the free discussions of which from the first I approved.Years ago he said to me plainly, 'What if she should see reasons to change her mind?'
I scouted the notion then, it seemed and still seems almost INCREDIBLE.He has, you see, acted quite honorably.It is Erica's own doing.I remember telling him that our name of freethinkers was a reality, and so it shall still be! She shall be free to think the untrue is true; she shall be free to confess herself a Christian before the whole world, though it deal me the hardest of blows."This letter soon spread the news.Aunt Jean was too much vexed and not deeply grieved enough to keep silence.Vexation finds some relief in talking, deep grief as a rule prefers not to speak.Tom, in his odd way, felt the defection of his favorite cousin as much as anybody, except Raeburn himself.They had been play-fellows, they had always been like brother and sister together, and he was astounded to think that Erica, of all people in the world, should have deserted the cause.The letter had come by one of the evening posts.He went out and paced up and down the square in the soft midsummer twilight, trying to realize the facts of the case.
Presently he heard rapid steps behind him; no one walked at that pace excepting Brian, and Tom was quite prepared to feel an arm link itself within his.
"Hallo, old fellow!" exclaimed Brian."Moonlight meditations?""Where did you drop from?" said Tom, evasively.
"Broken leg, round the corner a public-house row.What brutes men are!" exclaimed the young doctor, hotly.
"Disappointing world altogether," said Tom with a sigh."What do you think we have just heard about Erica?"Brian's heart almost stopped beating; he hardly knew what he feared.
"How can I tell?" he answered, hoarsely."No bad news, I hope?""She's gone and turned Christian," said Tom, in a tone of deep disgust.
Brian started.
"Thank God!" he exclaimed, under his breath.
"Confound it!" cried Tom."I'd forgot you'd be triumphant.Good night," and he marched off in high dudgeon.
Brian did not even miss him.How could he at such a time? The weight of years had been lifted off his soul.A consuming happiness took possession of him; his whole being was a thanksgiving.By and by he went home, found his father in the study, and was about to speak, when Charles Osmond put an open letter into his hand.While Raeburn had written to his sister, Erica had written to her "prophet" a sad, happy, quaint letter exactly like herself.Its straightforward simplicity brought the tears to Brian's eyes.
"It will be a fearful life for her now!" he exclaimed."She will never be able to endure it.Father, now at last I may surely speak to her."He spoke very eagerly.Charles Osmond looked grave.
"My dear old fellow, of course you must do as you think best," he replied, after a minute's pause; "but I doubt if it is wise just now.""Why, it is the very time of all others when she might be glad of me," said Brian.
"But can't you see," returned his father, "that Erica is the last girl in the world to marry a man because she was unhappy, or because she had got a difficult bit of life in front of her? Of course, if you really think she cares for you, it is different; but--""She does not care for me," said Brian quickly; "but in time Ithink she would.I think I could make her happy.""Yes, I think you could, but I fancy you will make shipwreck of your hopes if you speak to her now.Have patience.""I am sick of patience!" cried Brian desperately."Have I not been patient for nearly seven years? For what would you have me wait?