第169章 Mors Janua Vitae (2)
"Those words may affect Drosser's case very much, and I don't wish any man to swing for me I have always disapproved of the death penalty.Probably, though, it will be brought in as manslaughter yes, almost certainly.There go, my child, and come back to me as soon as you can."But the examination proved too much for Erica's physical powers;she was greatly exhausted by the terrible strain of the long days and nights of nursing, and when she found herself in a hot and crowded court, pitilessly stared at, confronted by the man who was in fact her father's murderer, and closely questioned by the magistrate about all the details of that Sunday evening, her overtasked strength gave way suddenly.
She had told clearly and distinctly about the meeting at Greyshot, and had stated positively that in the Ashborough market place she had seen Drosser give her father a heavy blow and then push him down the Town Hall steps.
"Can you recollect whether others pushed your father at the same time?" asked the magistrate."Don't answer hurriedly; this is an important matter."All at once the whole scene came vividly before Erica the huge crowd, the glare of the lights, her father standing straight and tall, as she should never see him again, his thick white hair stirred by the wind, his whole attitude that of indignant protest;then the haggard face of the fanatic, the surging movement in the black mass of people, and that awful struggle and fall.Was it he who was falling? If so she was surely with him, falling down, down, endlessly down.
There was a sudden stir and commotion in the court, a murmur of pity, for Luke Raeburn's daughter had fallen back senseless.
When she came to herself, she was lying on the floor of an office-like room, with her head on Mrs.MacNaughton's lap.Brian was bending over her, chafing her hands.A clock in the building struck one, and the sound seemed to recall things to her mind.She started up.
"Oh!" she cried, "why am I not with my father? Where have you taken me to?""It's all right, dear,"said Mrs.MacNaughton soothingly; "you shall come back directly you are well enough.""I remember it all now," she said; "did I finish? Must I go back there?"It was some relief to know that Donovan had been able to supplement her evidence, and that the examination was in fact over, Drosser having been remanded for a week.She insisted on going back to the hotel at once, and spent the whole of the afternoon and evening with her father.He was not in great pain now, but very restless, and growing weaker every hour.He was able, however, to see several of his friends, and though the farewells evidently tried him, he would not refuse to see those who had come hundreds of miles for that last glimpse.
"What does it matter if I am exhausted?" he said when some one remonstrated with him."It will make no difference at all as far as I am concerned, and it will be a happiness to them for the rest of their lives.Besides, I shall not die today, perhaps not tomorrow; depend upon it, I shall die hard."They persuaded Erica to rest for the first part of the night.She left Tom and Brian to watch, and went to her room, making them promise to call her if there were any signs of change.
At last the full realization had come to her; though she hated leaving her father, it was yet a sort of relief to get away into the dark, to be able to give way for a moment.
"Anything but this, oh, God," she sobbed, "anything but this!"All else would have been easy enough to bear, but that he should be killed by the violence and bigotry of one who at any rate called himself a Christian, this seemed to her not tolerable.The hope of years had received its death blow, the life she most loved was sinking away in darkness, the work which she had so bravely taken as her life work was all but over, and she had failed.Yes, in spite of all her efforts, all her longings, all her love, she had failed, or at any rate apparently failed, and in moments of great agony we do not in fact can not distinguish between the real and the apparent.Christ Himself could not do it.