第8章 THE ELEPHANT'S CHILD(3)

'It is,'said the Elephant's Child,and before he thought what he was doing he schlooped up a schloop of mud from the banks of the great grey-green,greasy Limpopo,and slapped it on his head,where it made a cool schloopy-sloshy mud-cap all trickly behind his ears.

'Vantage number three!'said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.

'You couldn't have done that with a mere-smear nose.Now how do you feel about being spanked again?'

''Scuse me,'said the Elephant's Child,'but I should not like it at all.'

'How would you like to spank somebody?'said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.

'I should like it very much indeed,'said the Elephant's Child.

'Well,'said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake,'you will find that new nose of yours very useful to spank people with.'

'Thank you,'said the Elephant's Child,'I'll remember that;and now I think I'll go home to all my dear families and try.'

So the Elephant's Child went home across Africa frisking and whisking his trunk.When he wanted fruit to eat he pulled fruit down from a tree,instead of waiting for it to fall as he used to do.When he wanted grass he plucked grass up from the ground,instead of going on his knees as he used to do.When the flies bit him he broke off the branch of a tree and used it as fly-whisk;and he made himself a new,cool,slushy-squshy mud-cap whenever the sun was hot.When he felt lonely walking through Africa he sang to himself down his trunk,and the noise was louder than several brass bands.

He went especially out of his way to find a broad Hippopotamus (she was no relation of his),and he spanked her very hard,to make sure that the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake had spoken the truth about his new trunk.The rest of the time he picked up the melon rinds that he had dropped on his way to the Limpopo--for he was a Tidy Pachyderm.

One dark evening he came back to all his dear families,and he coiled up his trunk and said,'How do you do?'They were very glad to see him,and immediately said,'Come here and be spanked for your 'satiable curtiosity.'

'Pooh,'said the Elephant's Child.'I don't think you peoples know anything about spanking;but I do,and I'll show you.'Then he uncurled his trunk and knocked two of his dear brothers head over heels.

'O Bananas!'said they,'where did you learn that trick,and what have you done to your nose?'

'I got a new one from the Crocodile on the banks of the great grey-green,greasy Limpopo River,'said the Elephant's Child.'Iasked him what he had for dinner,and he gave me this to keep.'

'It looks very ugly,'said his hairy uncle,the Baboon.

'It does,'said the Elephant's Child.'But it's very useful,'and he picked up his hairy uncle,the Baboon,by one hairy leg,and hove him into a hornet's nest.

Then that bad Elephant's Child spanked all his dear families for a long time,till they were very warm and greatly astonished.He pulled out his tall Ostrich aunt's tail-feathers;and he caught his tall uncle,the Giraffe,by the hind-leg,and dragged him through a thorn-bush;and he shouted at his broad aunt,the Hippopotamus,and blew bubbles into her ear when she was sleeping in the water after meals;but he never let any one touch Kolokolo Bird.

At last things grew so exciting that his dear families went off one by one in a hurry to the banks of the great grey-green,greasy Limpopo River,all set about with fever-trees,to borrow new noses from the Crocodile.When they came back nobody spanked anybody any more;and ever since that day,O Best Beloved,all the Elephants you will ever see,besides all those that you won't,have trunks precisely like the trunk of the 'satiable Elephant's Child.

I Keep six honest serving-men:

(They taught me all I knew)

Their names are What and Where and When And How and Why and Who.

I send them over land and sea,I send them east and west;But after they have worked for me,I give them all a rest.

I let them rest from nine till five.

For I am busy then,As well as breakfast,lunch,and tea,For they are hungry men:

But different folk have different views:

I know a person small--

She keeps ten million serving-men,Who get no rest at all!

She sends 'em abroad on her own affairs,From the second she opens her eyes--One million Hows,two million Wheres,And seven million Whys!