幽默英文:帅也白搭,还不是要被卒子吃掉
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第8章 神级回复(4)

威尔逊任新泽西州州长时,身为家乡弗吉尼亚州参议员的密友突然去世,他不得不委任接班人。一个过于心急的政客前来拜访说:“我想接替参议员的位置。”威尔逊非常生气,尖锐地说:“只要殡仪馆的老板同意,我就不反对。”

26 The Wise Manager

A clerk who worked in a small office in a factory discovered that there were so many files in his room that there was not room for any more.Also,each file was so full that it was impossible to add any more papers to it.

"Well,"he thought,"every week I have to find room for several hundred letters,so something will have to be done about this."

He thought and thought,and then decided to send a note to his manager explaining what had happened and asking him for his permission to go through the old files and to take out and destroy all letters which were no longer of any use.

The next day he received a note from the manager in answer to this.It said,"All right,you have permission to do as you suggest,but you must make copies of all letters before destroying them."

聪明的经理

一个职员在一家工厂的小办公室里工作,他发现他的房间里堆满了文件夹,再也不能放其他更多的东西了。而且,每个文件夹都装满了,再不可能放进更多的文件。

“好吧,”他想,“每周我都要找地方放这几百封信,所以,一定要想个办法。”

他想了又想,然后决定给他的经理写一张纸条说明情况,并请求经理允许他翻阅那些旧档案,把所有没用的信都拿来销毁。

第二天,他接到了经理的回条。纸条上写着:“好吧,允许你按你的建议去做,不过在把信销毁前,一定要把它们都复印一份。”

27 It’s an Extra

Cosmo read an advertisement in a newspaper for a beautiful modern bicycle which cost $50,so he went to the shop which had put the advertisement in and asked to see one of their wonderful bicycles.

The shopkeeper was very happy to show one to Cosmo,who examined it carefully and then turned to the shopkeeper,saying,"There isn’t a lamp on this bicycle,but there was one in your advertisement.""Yes sir,"answered the shopkeeper,"but the lamp isn’t included in the price of the bicycle.It’s an extra."

"Not included in the price of the bicycle?"Cosmo said angrily,

"But that’s not honest.If the lamp’s in the advertisement.It should have been included in the price you gave there."

"Well,sir."answered the shopkeeper calmly,"There is also a girl on the bicycle in the advertisement,but we don’t supply one of them with the bicycle either."

另行收费

科兹莫在报上看到一则自行车广告,广告上说该车美观又时尚,价格为50美元。他找到那家刊登广告的商店,要求看一下他们的自行车。

店主高兴地把自行车展示给科兹莫看。科兹莫仔细地查看了一番,然后对店主说:“这辆自行车没有车灯,但是广告上有。”“是的。先生,”店主回答,“但车灯并不包括在自行车的价钱里,它要额外付钱。”

“不包括在自行车的价格里?”科兹莫气愤地说,“太不诚实了。既然广告里有车灯,它就应该包括在你们给出的价格里。”

“是这样的,先生,”店主镇定的回答,“广告里还有一个女孩,但我们总不能配送一位女孩给你吧。”

28 The Closest Answer

In the year of 2011,the world economy is not going well and an unemployed engineer desperately needing work is nervous about an upcoming accountant job interview.

The interview goes well,but as the engineer stands up to leave the manager says,"Oh,just one more question.How much is six times nine?"

Puzzled,the engineer responds that in all calculations,even simple ones like that,he never relies on his memory.The manager says,"But I just want you to tell me the answer anyway from memory without using your calculator."

"Sure."says the engineer,"six times nine is,uh,fifty‐six."

After saying goodbye and leaving the building,the engineer hurriedly pushes up four times eight into his calculator and curses when he sees the answer.

Nonetheless,he gets the job.Six months later,when he’s doing well and feels confident enough.he walks up to his boss and asks him."Sir,I’m curious.Why is it that out of all those engineering candidates,you hired me when I gave you the wrong answer to fifty‐times‐nine?"

His boss looks up and says,"Your answer was the closest."

最接近正确答案

2011年世界经济不景气,一位失业的工程师急需找到一份工作。他申请了会计职位,对于临近的面试,工程师忐忑不安。

面试进行得很顺利。但当工程师站起来准备离开的时候,经理对他说:“噢!还有一个问题。6乘以9等于多少?”

工程师有些不解,他回答说对于所有的计算题,即使像这么简单的计算题,他也从来不靠自己的记忆。经理说,“但我希望你不用计算器而单凭记忆告诉我。”

“没问题,”工程师说,“6乘以9等于,啊,56。”告别经理,走出大楼后,工程师立刻在计算器上按6乘以9,看到答案后,不停地责备自己。

然而,他竟然被录取了。六个月以后,他的工作已经做得很好了,而且也有了足够的信心,于是走到老板那儿问他:“老板,我有些好奇。为什么在所有那些工程师候选人当中,您偏偏选中了我?要知道‘4乘以8’那道题,我给的答案是错的。”

老板抬起头,说:“你的答案是最接近正确答案的。”