第3章 Love the Others 让爱永驻心间(3)
Early one morning， Donna received a phone call with some terrible news： her best friend’s brother had been killed in a car accident. Donna had known this friend， and her brother nearly her entire life， and the news was devastating. However， Donna quickly pulled herself together， got in the car， and drove to her friend‘s house to be there with her.
Over the course of the next few days， amidst the haze of the funeral and hundreds of visitors， Donna was 100 percent present for Mary. She held her close while she cried endless tears， sat by her side as the waves of grief washed over her friend， and slept on the floor next to Mary’s bed to make sure she did not wake up alone in the middle of the night. During that time she hardly felt any pain in her knee at all and none of the depression she had been experiencing.
Several weeks later， when life began to return to normal， Donna realized that the level of support she had given Mary far exceeded any support she had offered herself during her dark time. She was able to use the support she had given her friend as a mirror for the support she had been withhold from herself. She realized that her own tears required as much attention and nurturing from her as anyone else‘s， and that if she could give it to another， she must be able to also give it to herself...
So， when you find yourself unable to support someone else， look within and see if perhaps there is something within yourself that you are not supporting. Conversely， when you give complete support to others， it will mirror those places within you that require the same level of attention.
你在支持别人的同时也是在帮助你自己。同样，拒绝帮助别人也往往意味着拒绝帮助自己。
参考翻译（胡尊艳）
“传播光明的方式有两种，成为蜡烛，或者成为反射光明的镜子。”
--沃顿当别人遇到挫折时你主动伸出援手，这就是支持。或者你不会意识到，你在支持别人的同时也是在帮助你自己。同样，拒绝帮助别人也往往意味着拒绝帮助自己。朋友之间最需要互相支持。我的一个朋友唐娜最近向我讲述了发生在她身上的故事，这个故事很好地说明了支持的魔力以及其在情感上的潜在影响。
几年前，唐娜的心情一度陷入低谷，那时她刚刚和交往了两年的男朋友分手，她一直无法接受这个事实。一连几天她都因为膝盖的伤而卧床不起，当然把自己关起来对于她的身心于事无补。她无法控制自己，整天以泪洗面。
一天早晨，唐娜接到一个电话，她最好的朋友玛丽的兄弟刚刚在一场车祸中丧生了。他们都是唐娜认识多年的朋友，可以算得上一生的朋友，可想而知这个消息对她的打击有多大。但是，唐娜很快让自己振作起来，并开车赶往她朋友那里陪她。
在接下来的几天里，在张罗朋友弟弟的葬礼和接待来访者期间，唐娜一直陪在玛丽身边，寸步不离，朋友痛不欲生的时候，唐娜紧紧地搂着她，朋友悲恸万分的时候，唐娜给她以慰藉，为了不让朋友在半夜惊醒后独自悲伤，唐娜就睡在她旁边的地板上，那段时间里，唐娜完全忘记了膝盖的疼痛，心中的悲伤也渐渐离她远去了。
几个星期之后，当生活归于平静，唐娜才意识到，在这段阴暗的日子里，她给予朋友的支持远多于给予自己的。通过给予朋友的帮助她意识到她过去一直在拒绝帮助自己。她终于意识到自己也同样需要他人的关爱和支持，并且，她能给予别人关爱和支持，就一定能给予自己。
所以，当你发现自己无法给予他人关怀的时候，首先审视自己吧，看看自己内心是否某些地方拒绝给予支持，相反，如果你能全心全意地关怀他人，你就会发现你内心的这些地方也同样需要关爱。
To Love and to Be Loved 人人爱我，我爱人人AnonymousTo Love and to Be Loved-- Mother TeresaIt is not enough for us to say，“I love God.”But I also have to love my neighbor. St. John says that you are a liar if you say you love God and you don’t love your neighbor. How can you love God whom you do not see， if you do not love your neighbor whom you see， whom you touch， with whom you live？ And so it is very important for us to realize that love， to be true， has to hurt. I must be willing to give whatever it takes not to harm other people and， in fact， to do good to them. This requires that I be willing to give until it hurts. Otherwise， there is no true love in me and I bring injustice， not peace， to those around me.
It hurts Jesus to love us. We have been created in his image for greater things， to love and to be loved. We must“put on Christ，”as Scripture tells us. And so we have been created to love as he loves us.
Jesus makes himself the hungry one， the naked one， the homeless one， the unwanted one， and he says，“You did it to me.”On the last day he will say to those on his right，“whatever you did to the least of these， you did to me，”and he will also say to those on his left，“whatever you neglected to do for the least of these， you neglected to do it for me.”
When he was dying on the Cross， Jesus said，“I thirst.”Jesus is thirsting or our love， and this is the thirst for everyone， poor and rich alike. We all thirst for the love of others， which they go out of their way to avoid harming us and to do good to us. This is the meaning of true love， to give until it hurts.
不伤害他人，事实上这就是在对他人行善。
参考翻译（段灵芝）
我爱人人，人人爱我。
--特里莎修女
仅仅说“我爱上帝”是不够的，我们还必须爱我们的邻居。圣约翰说过，如果你不爱邻居却还说你爱上帝，那你是在撒谎。连耳触目及、息息相关的邻居都不爱，你又怎能热爱看不见、听不着的上帝呢？所以，认识到这一点十分重要。诚然，有爱就有伤害。我们应该甘愿倾我所能，以求不伤害他人，事实上这就是在对他人行善。这也就要求我们心甘情愿地付出，遭受痛苦也在所不惜。否则，我们心中就不会有真爱，我们带给周围人的就不是安宁，而是不公正。
因为爱着我们，耶稣也是痛苦的。上帝按照自己的形象创造我们，是让我们去成就更伟大的事业，是让我们做到“我爱人人，人人爱我”。正如经文中说的那样，我们必须“所作所为向基督看齐”。上帝创造我们，是叫我们像他爱我们一样去爱别人。耶稣让自己食不果腹，衣不蔽体，让自己无家可归，遭人排斥，他说：“你们所做的一切都是对我做的。”到最后的审判日，他对在他右边的人说：“你对这些人中最卑微的人所做的事，就是对我所做的事。”他还对在他左边的人说：“你忽视了为这些人中最卑微的人做些什么，就等于忽视了为我做些什么。”
在十字架上生命即逝的时刻，他说：“我渴望。”--耶稣渴望的是我们的爱，是全世界不分贵贱的苍生的爱。我们每一个人都渴望得到别人的爱，渴望别人小心翼翼地不将我们伤害，都渴望自己得到善待，这就是真爱的意义--不惜痛苦地去施爱吧。
Best Friends 最好的朋友
Anonymous
One day when I was a freshman in high school， I saw a kid from my class who was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all his books. I thought to myself，“Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday？ He must really be a nerd.”
I had a quite a weekend planned （parties and a football game with my friend tomorrow afternoon）， so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking， I saw a bunch of kids running towards him. They ran at him， knocking all of his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. So I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses， and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him glasses， I said， those guys are jerks， they really should not get lives， he looked at me and said， hey， thanks. There was a big smile on his face. It was one of thosesmiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books， and asked him where he lived. As it turned out， he lived near me， so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to a private school before now. We talked all the way home， and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football with my friends and me. He said yes. The more I got to know Kyle， the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him.